After years of abusing myself with drugs and alcohol, I stopped and have returned to college and have a 4.0 GPA. I have a beautiful home and a new car to drive to feel safe. I have really turned my life around. Ok that is the good part. What I need advice on is this.....In order for me to become sober and concentrate on me, I had to eliminate the people I was hanging with and now have no one around to talk to. I have no family members and sometimes I feel like my head is going to explode when I just need someone to hear me and support me. The friends I do have live in different cities and most of them are all pregnant and are living their life. Where can I find support or what is a good place to meet others? Bars are the type of places I do not want to be around. Living sober is just new to me and I need ideas on positive things to do. Please help me so I can now find some sober people to be friends with. Thank you all.
2007-08-08 16:33:20 · 9 answers · asked by l'il mama 5 in Health ➔ Mental Health
On and I have been sober for 1 and a half years so I think I am past needing to go to AA meetings or NA.
2007-08-08 16:41:08 · update #1
Obviously BMAC you did not read my whole question.
2007-08-08 16:42:37 · update #2
Congratulations on beating your addictions! It will take time for you to develop new friendships and relationships. How about the people you go to college with? You will meet new people and you will form new relationships. Be patient with yourself. Stay in touch with the friends you do have. They will keep you grounded. Avoid AA meetings and the like, you don't need to get into a co-dependant relationship!
2007-08-08 16:43:50 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I hear ya!!! Congratulations on your sobriety! You make it sound easy. Lots of people out there aren't that lucky.
Just to briefly answer: There's no shortage of people, so when you look at it like that, it might make things a little easier. There's a lot of folks out there who are into sober living. FIND THEM!!! Also, I would advise following some of the experience, strength, and hope offered by people from 12 step programs:
How long have you been sober? They say the first year is the toughest. If you're still in your first year of sobriety, you should avoid any heavy relationships, dating, and the like. Instead, you should see if you can handle being supportive towards another life - be it a pet, other sober people immediately around you, or even just a plant. The majority of the time, relationships with friends or prospective mates in the first year of sobriety can and do only lead back to substance abuse - it's just a fact. Once you've established yourself in your sobriety, along with a daily routine and habits, you're going to find it much less likely to give into past bad habits - One Day at a Time, remember? And you are going to see more of a defined difference, glaring in some cases, between those living in sobriety and those not. Hopefully, you'll realize that sobriety wins.
OK, so you've made it past the first year. Over time, statistically most people do not make it in sobriety and go back to using drugs and alcohol. I hope you make sobriety your way of life and learn to see the world through sober eyes. GOOD LUCK!!!!!
Try typing in sobriety in Yahoo! search, there's some good links there to help you maintain your sobriety and meet others who have made sober living a way of life.
*IMPORTANT NOTE* Just for those who think you need AA,NA, I know people who live completely sober and don't use 12 step programs. AA, NA and the like are valuable fellowships where you can meet a lot of people some who have gone through about the same thing you've gone through. So, it is a valuable resource, and you can meet a lot of people and learn a lot by going to meetings, but don't be fooled into thinking it's the only game in town.
I tried typing in "sober living" and "living in sobriety" but those only led to group home websites, and it looks like you're probably past that. Although it does show how intense alcohol addiction is in the world.
Again good luck with your sobriety!!!! I found sober living beats the bottle or any drug any day.
MORE TO COME, SEARCHING...
2007-08-09 00:05:38 · answer #2 · answered by endpov 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
At the very least, right now you need someone to act as a sponsor. Preferably someone who's been through it before. It's near impossible to stay clean completely on one's own, long term. There are support groups everywhere - look around or call a treatment center to ask for leads. You really need support right now. Also it's good to have a hobby that gets you out of the house. This in turn will give you social opportunities. Church, volunteer work, sports, gym, community center - anything like this would be a good start.
2007-08-08 23:43:23 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
First I'd like to say, congratulations! You have acomplished an amazing feat whre most people faill. Give yourself a huge hug from me :)
Ok, you do need to keep yourself busy, bordom is not a good thing when you're in recovery.
Do you have any hobbies? Interests? There are plenty of groups out there that you could join, check your local library, they often advertise groups. You could also join self help groups maybe, with other people exactly like you.
You're not alone, you've reached a critical stage everyone goes through, Living The Rest of Your Life. It's scary, but you've made this far, I'm sure you can keep going :)
2007-08-08 23:42:03 · answer #4 · answered by lilykdesign 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Meet friends from work, or start running. You can make new friends in a variety of ways. That would be my suggesting.
2007-08-08 23:41:40 · answer #5 · answered by TheMissingLink 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
when you are down than is the time to check out the local coffee houses .lots of different people there,besides , coffee & chocolate help keep your spirit up, & CONGRATES ON GETTING THIS FAR, TAKE IT ONE DAY AT A TIME, AND YOU WILL SUCCEED!!!!!!!!!
GOOD LUCK &HAVE A VERY GOOD YEAR!!!!!!!!
2007-08-08 23:56:29 · answer #6 · answered by tigger 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should be going to AA or NA.
http://www.alcoholics-anonymous.org/?Media=PlayFlash
http://www.na.org/
If you don't go to meetings and meet and hang out with clean, sober people....you WILL drink and drug again. It's just a matter of time. So, do you want to live or do you want to die?
2007-08-08 23:37:23 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 5⤋
didn't read the whole thing to know you always need AA. always if your an alcoholic, I know ALL about it. sorry.
2007-08-09 00:07:25 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
AA... lots of fun new friends/
2007-08-08 23:41:48 · answer #9 · answered by Bentley 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋