suicidal thoughts/tendencies HELP! :-(?

Question

so for the last 3ish years i'v thought alot about sucide. thoughts like "whats the ponit if we all die any way", some some-what morbid but realist kind of thoughts. but in october a 3 year relationship with my girlfreind ended... after that, all those sucidal thoughts became worse... (i'm not uneducated, i'v taken enought psycology classes to know i was depressed). i stated doing some really dumb stuff. 40+ cuts at one time, drinking while alone to the point of nearly passing out, took enought pain relavers in 20 mienuts to last me 4 days acording to the bottle. allll of that whent unnoticed by the other 5 people living in my 1.5 floor house. most of that lasted for a few months but ended.

my problem is i constantly feel the urge to cut myself. i nearly cry myself to sleep al msot every night for what seams like no aparent reason. i always feel like if i just grabbed that razor again everything would be better. what should i do? who can i call?

i am a college student and my parents still handel all of my health care but they CAN NOT FIND OUT! i promis any one that reads this it WILL make things worse!!!!! i can not haddle when my parents cry. this will distroy them to know i am this messed up.

Answer 1

You are in a difficult spot. I have a small understanding of what you face. When I was 16 my best friend committed suicide. I was destroyed. I engaged in behaviors like you describe. It lasted for years. I drank a case of beer a day along with hard liqueur. Like you, no one noticed what was happening. I finally found a replacement best friend and he helped me restore some balance to my life. Enough that I could face the future. Slowly, things got better. I'm now 43, I have a wife, kids, 2 dogs and a house with woods out back.

There is lite at the end of your tunnel. It's in the distance but keep driving forward. I used to meditate a lot and it helped, but what helped the most was having someone to talk to and confide in. You must really trust this person. I haven't seen Dave in almost 15 years, but he's still my friend and our conversations are still held in confidence.

Try calling the local Chapter of Catholic services. They may have a counseling program or be able to put you in touch with one. If Catholic Services aren't listed in your telephone book call any local Church and ask about counseling programs.

Call this # 1 800-273-8255 it's a national suicide prevention hot line.

Believe that you are worth something and that you have a future.

Answer 2

1. Suicide isn't the answer (like we all said.) It's like Cutting your arm off because you got a splinter in your finger.
2. Suicide is cowardly. It basically says. "It's rainy outside. I can do nothing to improve my situation and have no hope whatsoever. There is nothing in my life that could possibly give it meaning."
3. If your thinking about it as being like the blink of an eye in the midst and saying the blink doesn't matter, here's a thought. The blink that happens only matters a little. However, the eye that blinks is VERY important. You matter very much, and though it may not seem like much, one life can make a difference. Look at Gandhi, Thomas Edison, Buddha, Einstein, etc. They are all only one person and they changed the world dramatically!
4. See a counseller. He/She can help if you tell what's really going on and you follow his/her advice.
5. Commit suicide to your old way of life. No more regrets, just a strong will to do good in this world.

Answer 3

You have some complicated issues that you are dealing with. It sounds like the major core issue is abandonment. There is a very good web site called abandonment.org that may be helpful in recognizing what you are feeling and ways to cope. As far as the cutting issues, it is likely you are feeling numb and cutting is the only way at this time you feel something. As far as you drinking and pill taking this is becoming an unhealthy way of coping. I would recommend that you go to you university counseling center and they have and know many of the community resources available that are free, state funded or work on a sliding scale. I hope this is help. Take care and be kind to yourself.

Answer 4

Find councelling of some sort or even a group therapy. You can find some that are free. Also need to realize that life is a gift and a short one...so ending it prematurely is not the answer. What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger. Everything in life has it's purpose and whatever has brought you to this point is just a test of your character. Living through it and overcoming this depression is a proof of strength in itself. Also, if your parent would be devestated by finding out about your suicidal tendencies, I could only imagine what they would go through if you were to follow through with it.

Answer 5

First of all do you have a close friend that you can talk to. Have you been on antidepressants before? You can go to the doctor and let them know that you want this confidential since you are over 18 you have the right to withhold medical information from your parents, The medical staff is not able to give them any information without your permission and signature. You should really talk to someone and get some help.

Answer 6

First off, you are NOT alone and you are not screwed up. K? Second, EVERYTHING you are feeling is VALID and ok to be feeling!!! Don't let anyone tell you it's not!!! What you feel is real and it's so hard. I've been there, and very recently. It's a living nightmare and i'm so sorry. I understand cutting. I understand wanting to die. If you want to talk, I'd love to chat with you!

If you have IM or just want to email, I'd love to listen and help in anyway I can.

Linds
(lindseydenis3)

Answer 7

The first option is to find religion... that was never an option for me so a few other things... get a gf/bf, start something like a club /sports team/martial arts, read books, buy "the secret" and watch it. and now a few quotes.
"The first step to getting the things you want out of life is this: Decide what you want."~Ben Stein
"Life isn't fair. It's just fairer than death, that's all."~William Goldman
"Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be."~Abe Lincoln
"The pursuit of happiness is a most ridiculous phrase; if you pursue happiness you'll never find it."~ CP Snow

Answer 8

You don't need a pill, to make you feel better. Let me explain..Pills are drugs that the pharmacy make....the word pharmacy comes from the word Pharmakeia (for-ma-khia)...this Pharmakeia is a form of witchcraft ( evil magical). To make this easy and simple........The "cuting & suicide thoughts"..are just pressured feelings. Of course you are depressed. A way that i catch myself before i get depressed, is reminding myself that, It's All In My Mind. You have to understand, that you have the power & authority to overcome whatever is stressing you out. Just because this has been an ongoing thing for you, doesn't mean, that you should bow down to it. Pull yourself together.
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Answer 9

i know that urge that you feel. when you just wanna grab the razor and cut one more time, hoping it will feel better. but we all know it wont help. have u tried calling a suicidal hotline? or talking to a friend? that might help. or, just simply throw away all your razors and take all sharp objects out of your room so you wont be tempted to cut. lock up all of your liquor and put away all of your meds. try just going cold turkey. if you feel like life isnt worth it anymore, watch some tv, read a book, do a puzzle, call a friend, ANYTHING to get your mind off of self harm. If you believe in god, then try going to church and talking to a priest or someone there. they might help you through this tuff time. I hope that things get better for you, i really do. if you need someone to talk to, just email me.

[e-mail]

Answer 10

cutting and self medicating aren't going to help you. You already know the answer. Get help. I took a drug called Tegretol and my suicidal thoughts stopped. You're going to have to face this because it's a hell of a way to live. I don't have any numbers to call. But you might check out your local chapter of NAMI, or look up mental health websites on the internet.