Is going to a strip club cheating?

Question

Ok so I have this dinner invitation and it is at a gentleman's club where in my youth, I have blurry images of wine consumption, men sitting around telling lies to each other, and naked squirming flesh on gravy stained table tops now devoid of cutlery but not wine.

Same thing this time, only this time I am married with three and I just know that the young vile temptress is going to want to sit on my lap.. naked ladies always seem to do that to me.

I that cheating and how do I politely refuse the unwarranted attention without hurting her feelings? :)

Answer 1

I know you asked this in the R & S section, but people are going a little overboard.



How about this: you ask your wife what she thinks.
If she thinks it's cheating, or wouldn't approve, then you probably better not go.

If she says it's fine, then go ahead....just let her know either way that you don't plan on spending any cash other than a couple $8.00 beers (or waters, your call)



but back to the definition of cheating....
if neither of you are trying to please the other one other than visually (the person with the 'sex scene in a movie' comparison was dead on)
then it's not cheating.


good luck, and have fun either at the strip joint, or at home with the Mrs.


P.S. maybe, if she lets you go, you get her some flowers with a card that says "just letting you know, you're the most beautiful woman in the world"

sappy as hell, but the timing, and sentament will go a long ways.

just a thought

Answer 2

I don't think it's necessarily cheating, but if he was hiding it from you then he obviously felt like he was doing something wrong. Talk to him about it, tell him how much it upsets you, besides the fact that he's spending so much money on it. Let him know it's a deal breaker and you will leave. Ask him what you can do to improve your sex life so maybe he won't feel the need to go get lap dances. Ask him what he likes about it and see if there might be a way to fulfill those desires some other way. If you really think that there may be getting more than a lap dance, leave the jerk thats nasty.

Answer 3

Is that cheating? Are you kidding me? A naked women sitting on your clothed lap is not cheating!!! Did you say, "Hey sugar come and sit on daddy's lap."? NO! If a naked women sits on your lap uninvited it is not your fault. Its not your fault naked women find you irresistible.

As far as politely refusing the unwarranted attention, just tell her you are on welfare and that you can't afford a lap dance. She will quickly make her escape. Remember she is only after your money not your penis.

But I would also suggest getting a few lap dances; just don't tell your wife. Three kids can cost alot when it comes to child support. Then again you may have a cool wife that understands your trips to the butt naked work out for her. What women wouldn't want their husband to come home full of passionate energy that will be released with some amazing sex?

Answer 4

You know your line of conduct? Yes? Then you will know what is not to do. The girls there are plain workers as you are on a job and they just want to make a piece, so, give some just to get the peace of mind and peace of body... But get home still sober! If the wife enquires, say the truth and pay the consequences by amending yourself. Perhaps next time you will know what the answer is suppose to be. And don't listen those religious freaks who say it is sin, the sin is in the eye of the one judging so not yours to carry.

Answer 5

I'm . . . . sort of an authority on this now.

I don't have a problem with strip clubs or strippers. I never have. I go watch the guys. My fiance watches the ladies. We've been together once as well.

Unfortunately, I DO have a problem with some of the things that could go on in strip clubs. The one time in our relationship that I nearly killed my fiance was when he went to a strip club and went a little too far with the stripper. Neither sexual intercourse nor oral sex was involved, but everyone I talked to still considered what went on cheating.

Because it was relatively harmless in the realm of possibilities of cheating, I have a hard time referring to it as cheating. However, I have asked him to not go to a strip club until I'm comfortable with it again. And he respects that. He'll probably go for his bachelor party, and I have 51 weeks to mentally prepare for that. We're already had one discussion about it.

That said, everyone has different boundaries. My best friend has gone to a club with me, but when the male strippers took my friend's hands to do the whole "rub down" thing, she pulled her hands away. She considers touching cheating.

Other people I know absolutely refuse to go.

I say, if you've never been, go once to find out what the boundaries of comfort are for you. But if even going makes you uncomfortable, don't go. :)

Answer 6

It is unwise, and needless. Just don't go. If you go, it is making a provision for temptation. Your wife and children are more important than any offense you might offer, to whomever invited you, by declining the invitation. For a married man, there is no need to waste time doing something that can only cause problems in your relationship with your wife.

Romans
13:14
But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to fulfill its lusts.

Take Care and God Bless!

Answer 7

Do you feel comfortable about this? Does your wife feel comfortable with the idea of you going? Since you are in a relationship, anything that would make your partner feel uncomfortable, upset or unhappy is not a god idea. People are different and, as others already said, have different boundaries, so why don't you ask her how she feels about this? Nothing like a good conversation!!

Good luck!! :)

Answer 8

Yes, in my book it's cheating...it falls under what we consider a "near occasion of sin."

Certainly a stripper's feelings are not going to get hurt...her goal is your wallet.

My question is, how does your wife feel about it? If my husband were invited to such a dinner, I would expect him to decline the invitation and thereby avoid any naked ladies sitting on his lap.

You have only to reverse the roles...consider your wife at ladies club with a naked man sitting on her lap and rubbing himself on her...how does that make you feel? Consider your children...maybe your daughter being one of those strippers or your son dating one...

Avoid the invitation and no one gets hurt.

Answer 9

I always "politely refuse the unwarranted attention without hurting their feelings" by pouring boiling green human soup all over them, and then killing all of the palace guards.

CROM!

Answer 10

SIMPLE!!! you dont go because its CHEATING even just being there!!! Would you like your wife to sit on a naked guys lap or stare at him & would you be proud to tell your kids DADDY went to STRIP CLUB when he was MARRIED!!