All of my friends RSVPed, except one. She is still UNDECIDED (!!!).
I asked her friend why? Turned out she is upset she is not a bridesmaid .
We never really kept in touch after graduation. I invited her because she is my bridesmaid's best friend.
I got a feeling she wants me to ask (beg) her personally to attend my wedding. I thought the invitation was enough!
Should I do it, so everyone is happy? Or just let her be?
2007-08-08 11:08:54 · 26 answers · asked by MissionSuccess 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
DON'T GIVE IN TO EMOTIONAL BULLIES!
People like this make me sick. The last thing you need to worry about when planning your Big Day is some remote friend's insecurities.
The invitation was enough. If she doesn't show don't waste a second feeling guilty (that's what emotional bullies want). If she does show, greet her with the same friendliness you greet everyone else, but don't give her time to whine to you about why she wasn't included in the wedding party.
Bullies need love, but not in the way they demand it.
2007-08-08 11:18:41 · answer #1 · answered by AbnerStinqort 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would suggest to ignore the situation. At the end of the day, it is your wedding, your day and it is meant to be shared with the individuals that care about you and support your marriage.
If you are worried about the possible expense if you do counter and she doesnt show, remember that for an event like this you should always bank on about 10% plus or minus (people that didnt RSVP but showed up, and people that RSVPed but didnt show) so it should balance out in the end.
Dont sweat it! This female should be the last of your worries. CONGRATULATIONS and enjoy your day.
2007-08-08 18:18:51 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'd tell this bridesmaid friend that its her job to find out the answer of yes or no because you need a head count for your caterer. If she cant decide by a certain date that you will have to take it as a no and she will be turned away at the door causing certain embarrassment on her part for crashing a wedding.
DO NOT call her and beg. Once the ultimatum is out there and the threat of possible embarrassment to her is known, she will give you and answer and I am guessing t will be a yes, she sounds like the type who wouldnt be able to deal with not going and missing out.
2007-08-08 18:18:02 · answer #3 · answered by kateqd30 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Let her play her little immature game!! I wouldn't call her. If you get her RSVP, fine, but if not, I would mention to your bridesmaid that you feel bad that she won't be at your wedding. Maybe the bridesmaid can get through to her. If not, don't worry about one person stressing you out. You probably have enough going on right now to worry about a jealous, immature baby!
2007-08-08 18:16:48 · answer #4 · answered by Darlene mouse 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would ignore the situation. You did your part. You were nice enough to invite her for your friends sake, if she is too butt sore to come, then no sweat off your back.
AND...if your bridesmaid isn't happy with the fact that you invited her best friend for her sake, then tell her to get over herself. When she gets married she can be in charge, until then, its your turn baby! Of course you want to say that in a nicer manner than I just did, but you get the point..
2007-08-08 18:14:48 · answer #5 · answered by SisterSue 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Oh heck no I would NOT ask her to be a bridesmaid!
Since she did not RSVP, ask her if she is attending. If she says she is undecided, then say sorry but you will have to take that as a "no" and there will be no seat for her at the wedding events.
2007-08-08 19:05:10 · answer #6 · answered by Terri 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'd let it be. If you never really kept touch and are not that close then she should never have expected to be asked to be in the wedding, she should know that the people that are asked are close friends/ family not people you kinda used to hang out with. You sent her an invite, if she wants to be a baby about not being asked to be in the wedding let her have her pity party, enjoy your day and don't let her attitude ruin your day.
2007-08-08 19:05:23 · answer #7 · answered by Kitikat 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
just let her be. if she doesn't rsvp in time assume she's not coming. if she's not involved in the wedding in any way then i would just drop it. let her rsvp you or stay home and not attend. either way it doesn't sound like you'll be out much. you said she's not that close of a friend so don't fret. just tell her you have her on the no list unless you hear otherwise. and don't beg, you'll have enough people there to make you feel good on your special day. you won't notice one snotty girl missing. congratulations by the way.
2007-08-08 18:15:43 · answer #8 · answered by stephanie 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would let it be. I wouldn't include her in the final count for the caterer, either, since it's pretty unlikely she'll show. The caterer will likely have extra food anyway, so if she does show, you'll be covered.
And if she does show, she'll probably try and act like it was a huge sacrifice to be there, like it was really big of her to attend. If you're tired of her, that would be a great time to ignore her, or just look at her like she's nuts. When she realizes she's not getting what she wants from you(extra attention, mostly), she'll probably take herself back out of your life.
2007-08-08 19:58:00 · answer #9 · answered by Queen Queso 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
When it gets down to the point where the caterer needs a final headcount, call her one more time and ask if she's coming. Don't beg and don't fuss. Just calmly ask if she's coming. If she says she still can't decide, tell her 'I'm sorry. We'll miss you at the wedding, but we can't order meals for people who aren't going to be there.'
It's up to her whether to be hurt and throw a pity party because you can't have everyone you know at the altar with you or whether she chooses to grow up and come support your marriage.
An invitation is plenty - particularly when you invited her mainly because she's a friend of your bridesmaid.
2007-08-08 18:21:46 · answer #10 · answered by gileswench 5 · 1⤊ 2⤋