basically how can you combat feelings of anger and jealousy towards others because of their happiness & lives?

Question

they have?
ive had life very hard all the way with trauma and abuse, bullying and victimization throughout high school..never made any friends in life..was sexually abused at 3..my mental health problems started at 16 as a result of prolonged bullying through three different high schools and not being able to mix to.
im 30 now and recentley been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, from my understanding is tough to treat to, i have very low moods constantly, a chronic rage problem where i cant even go outside and live my life for fear of having an outburst.
i live alone in an apartment on welfare,no friends, cept quite alot on the internet, never had a girlfriend. i feel extremely lonely and isolated..even ostracized...damn..feel sorry for myself...feels like im hovering over a dark void/abyss of no known return.a black hole.
then i browse myspace profiles and see everyone grinning, smiling, huge ridiculous grins, enjoying their lives.
someone tell me how this is fare?

i see contented, fullfilled happy people when i turn on the tv to....

i see it everywhere i f go

while i live abject misery

Answer 1

Not EVERYONE can afford a theripist, and most of the time, we don't talk to friends or family members, about our problems, because we are not sure what they may think or if they would even understand. Something that i know, is that you are holding on to what happened in the past. "How could i forget".. you ask?...Well i'm not telling you to FORGET what happened, i'm telling you to finally EXCEPT what has happend in your past so that you can move on with your life. You have ALOT of "reconstruction of me mind" to overcome from what others stole from you. I've never been abused but i do spend most of my days alone. I chose to not have many friends. You don't need many friends around you, because in a fallen world, you never now who is out to hurt you or trying to trick you. I'm not saying that ALL people are bad, i'm saying...having many friends isn't a great idea. All the people you see with all the friends and smiling, it looks good, but what friend is sleeping with anothers' girl, or which of the friends think that they are better than the other. You understand what i mean? This is a time for healing. If you don't know God, then this is the time to get to know him. See, people don't want to hear that, but tell me, what do you have to loose? The process starts NOW! right NOW. Don't go to sleep tonight, without asking God to help you. Who cares what people think. I sure don't. This is your life and god's destiny for you. Find your purpose for living. It's not easy, but later you will thank yourselve. Except the past and let go of it, because you can't change what happend to you. Everytime that depression spirit come around you, Tell yourself OUT LOUD " i am an overcomer, and i will be alright". Oh yea...jealousy is NOT a normal feeling. It's a neative feeling, that causes you to feel less than what your truly worth. You should visit ~~~~> http://www.testimonyshare.com/ .... This will help you. Remember that you are SOMEBODY, and soon you will be able to help others like yourselve.....I'm glad i could help! PS keep in touch

Answer 2

A lot of people have feelings of angst and resentment toward their child at time.. especially when you're a first time - new mom. The main thing you have to remember is NEVER ACT ON NEGATIVE FEELINGS... ever. You have to keep reminding yourself she's a defenseless baby only acting on her feelings that are so very new to her. The only way she knows how to communicate her pain and feelings is by crying. If you do feel like you're about to go over the edge.. ask someone to step in for a few minutes.. an hour.. whatever until you can regain your composure. Have the dad, grandparents.. whomever take over for a few minutes if possible. If you look in your local directory there should be distress hotlines that you can call to talk out your own feelings when you feel like you just can't take it anymore. The feelings are ok but acting on the feelings are not. Good luck and hang in there! I was 19 too when I had my daughter.. it's never easy but it's definitely rewarding. My daughter's almost 11 now.

Answer 3

Hi

First of all sorry that you had to suffer such a horrific experience. Secondly that was very brave of you to get that out, being abused and bullied can have deverstating effects on the mind. Its understandable that you are suffering from BPD, i too suffer from it.

Because of you low moods, you envy people who havent been through the same who are living happy lives, I bet you sit there and think why me? That is a very normal thing to think. Being really low and depressed makes normal daily life a struggle. When you go out and see others enjoying themselves without a care in the world it sdoes get you down because you want to be like that and you want to happy and what they call the norm.

Its not fair, myself being a survivor of abuse I know exactly how you are feeling. It is horrible, somedays just to make life a little bit better I put on a mask to hide my feelings, i pretend im ok when infact im falling apart.

I run a website for survivors of abuse and who suffer from mental health problems. It is a supportive community where you can find help and support and advice. All the members have been through similar experiences so know what your going through, and are ready to help you in a non judgement way.

Hope this helps

Answer 4

I can understand why you would be feeling this way towards others who are having so much fun and enjoying life so much.

The way you are isn't your fault, its all the bad things that you have been though in your like that has caused you to feel so isolated. Because of these things you may feel that its hard to trust others, or to talk to them about yourself, maybe your afraid that they'll judge you, or hurt you in some way.

The first thing you should do is recognize that none of what has happened to you in the past is your fault. And that you can defiantly change and live and love your life like everyone else.

You can see a therapist, and talk to him/her about how you feel, and how you felt before in the past. These people will listen to you, give you advice and help you come to terms with your past and your life now. You will be able to trust more, and get past the jealousy you now feel towards others.

Of course, if you can't afford a therapist, perhaps you have someone in your family (uncle, aunt, cousin) that your close to and they'll listen.

What you have to know is that you do have a right to be jealous and angry towards other people who haven't gone though all that you have, you have to put that behind you, even though it might be hard. Anger and jealousy are a normal human emotion. You just have to think, that these other people had no part in what happened to you, and they had no idea that it had even happened. You need to know that and understand that even though this isn't fare its not their faults. The only person at fault is the person(s) who done these things to you.

After you recognize this, is when you will be able to come to terms with others. Know its not you're fault, your just the victim you couldn't have known any better.
When you feel comfortable and not so angry with others you can try to go and join clubs and organizations in which you are interested in. You will be able to make friends with similar tastes as you, and you will feel much much better.

Only you can decide when your ready to live again, don't let what happened in the past control your future, no matter how hard it is to do it. What doesn't kill you can only make you stronger.

Good Luck, and God Bless!
:]

Answer 5

Hey my friend, your not alone in the hole, believe me. I understand how you feel. I've been abused as a child till adolescense. In my forties right now and still dont know
how to live, and stop suffering. In a way we are never going to be main stream or fit in society, how could we? We are survivors, yes, exremely vulnerable, but also stronger. Particularly, i dont believe in those that are smiling in life, just think they are shallow and unconscius. You see my friend, we cant change what happend to us, but we can make something out of it, put yourself toghether man, your true self. And start walking life feeling proud, you made it till now, and that takes a lot of streingh, inner force. You have to express yourself creatively, you got to find a way that is creative, raw. You are you, and after all i rather be in this shoes, than being an accountatnt.
I feel proud of you and i love you.
Youre a beautiful person, i can tell by what you wrote, by the way, you have an interesting style in writing.

Answer 6

You have to understand that all those grinning, smiling people have their own miseries too. No ones life is that perfect, parents die, the ones you think are popular have eating disorders, the ones you think are rich do it all on credit, and, in short, the world isn't just you and all the others are living wonderful lives. We never know what sorrows others have if they keep it to themselves, but I do know that over 60 years, I've never seen anyone have it all good.
You know your illness is getting in the way of seeing your own way out. You do have professional counseling , if you don't get one tomorrow. The only way to feel like part of society is to get out into it, if you must practice self control then that's what you do. So do most other people.
But no one gets out of life without sorrow.

Answer 7

You could try not thinking about other people and start thinking about what you can do to improve your life. Anyone can smile - people who got out of the Nazi death camps do - and a smile conditions you to feel better. You could read the Jokes on Answers, read any humorous stuff you like (books, magazines), talk to your friends more, do anything that makes you feel better. There are always people around who are worse off than you. Good luck.

Answer 8

Have you been able to forgive those in your past that have treated you so badly? Forgiveness is so freeing. I'm not saying it'll cure all your problems but it is a start. If you are still harboring angry feelings of your past, it is very difficult to move forward.

Have you been to counseling? It doesn't mean you are a weak person, but perhaps it will help you to talk to someone who can help you work through all these feelings.

I wish you the best of luck and pray you can find happiness and joy.

Answer 9

The camera flashes on only an instant in someone's life. You have no idea what came before or after that picture. Most people are dealing with hard stuff most of the time. Some just hide it better than others.
And some get professional help, as you apparently are doing.....smart move. :-)

Answer 10

How do you do anything you control yourself. Without control what kind of life would you live? If you get anger with others because they are feeling joy in their lives, you rant and rave at them soon you will have no one around. You will be totally alone and if you think you have it bad now!!!