2007-08-08 10:20:22 · 1 answers · asked by pisces954chick 1 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
No. There is nothing funny about going back to school. There is only despair.
2007-08-08 10:23:10 · answer #1 · answered by McLovin 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Teacher: Why do you have so much trouble answering my questions?
Student: If it was easy for me, I wouldn't be in school!
Teacher: Can anyone tell me how many seconds there are in a year?
Student: 12! January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd ...
Teacher: Johnny, which month has 28 days?
Student: Every month!
Mom: How did you find school today?
Kid: I simply hopped off the bus - and there it was!
Kid: I think we need a new teacher!
Mom: Why is that?
Kid: Our teacher doesn't know anything, she keeps asking us for the answers!
How do bees get to school?
By school buzz!
How do the fish get to school?
By octobus!
What does a gorilla learns in school?
His Ape B C's.
What does a snake learn in school?
Hiss tory.
What's worse than finding a caterpillar in your lettuce?
Finding half a caterpillar!
Student: I don't like cheese with holes.
Cook: Well just eat the cheese and leave the holes on the side of your plate!
Did you hear about the mean cook?
She beat the eggs and whipped the cream!
Did you hear about the cross eyed-teacher?
He couldn't control his pupils!
Why did the teacher wear sunglasses?
Because his students were so bright!
Where do monsters study?
In ghoul school.
Who sits in front of the class in ghoul school?
The creature teacher.
What kind of food do math’s teachers eat?
Square meals!
One day during cooking class, the teacher, Mrs. Jones, was extolling her secrets for preparing perfect sauces.
When she ordered us to the stoves to prepare our assignments, she said, "Don't forget to use wooden spoons."
As I stirred my sauce, I contemplated the physics behind the mystery of the wooden spoon and decided it must have something to do with heat conduction. I approached Mrs. Jones to test my theory. "Why wooden spoons?", I asked.
"Because," she replied, "if I have to sit here listening to all your metal spoons banging against metal pots, I'd go nuts."
The kindergarten class had settled down to its coloring books. Steve came up to the teacher's desk and said, "Miss Merc, I ain't got no crayons."
"Steve," Miss Merc said, "you mean," I don't have any crayons. We don't have any crayons. They don't have any crayons. Do you see what I'm getting at?"
"Not really," Steve said, "What happened to all them crayons?"
We have employed a new voice mail system and
would like the staff to have knowledge of how it operates.
When you are dialing school, please call______________.
You will then be answered by a cheery voice from us that
will give you a menu of options to meet your needs.
These are:
To lie about why your child is absent Press 1
To make excuses for why your child did not do his work Press 2
To complain about what we do Press 3
To cuss out staff members Press 4
To ask why you didn't get needed information that was in your newsletter
and several bulletins mailed to you Press 5
If you want us to raise your child Press 6
If you want to reach out and touch, slap, or hit someone Press 7
If you really have an emergency, dial 9-1-1 because all these other lines
will be busy.
2007-08-08 10:34:09 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Game—Who Am I……
A very dirty little fellow came in from playing in the yard and asked his mother, "Who am I? " Ready to play the game she said, "I don't know! Who are you?" "WOW!" cried the child. "Mrs. Johnson was right! She said I was so dirty, my own mother wouldn't recognize me!"
“I Promise” Note
A wise schoolteacher sends this note to all parents on the first day of school: "If you promise not to believe everything your child says happens at school, I'll promise not to believe everything he says happens at home.
Bad Grades
A little boy wasn't getting good grades in school. One day he surprised the teacher by tapping her on the shoulder and saying, "I don't want to scare you, but my daddy says if I don't get better grades somebody is going to get a spanking!"
First Day At School
The child comes home from his first day at school. Mother asks, "What did you learn today?"
The kid replies, "Not enough. I have to go back tomorrow
2007-08-08 14:29:07 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
err since when has there been back 2 skool jokes anyway???
2007-08-08 10:26:26 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
isnt it funny you got to wake up and you'll be gone all day, and wont be able to use the phone or eat the whole time. ha ha ha
2007-08-08 10:30:30 · answer #5 · answered by bsuddarth123 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What did the playground say to the kid?
Want to go for a slide ( ride )
2015-08-11 04:15:20 · answer #6 · answered by trevor 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋