abstinence??

Question

i am presbyterian, so most of my church is pretty liberal, i am a teenager, and a virgin, i think i want to pledge abstinence but i am not sure, could i have some advice?
(i've also asked about "true love waits" rings)

ok i know HOW to be abstinent, please don't be rude

by the way...im a girl

Answer 1

Please don't go by what others do. Please consider what God asks, for us to be pure until we marry. No it isn't easy, but He never asks us to do anything that isn't in our best interests. I pray God will give you the grace and the strength to wait.

Answer 2

I will share my personal story and hope it helps someone as it nearly destroyed me.I am 56. I was a virgin until I met the man I married and 10 years later divorced. To make a long story short, I decided since we were engaged, I would give in to sex. WRONG WRONG WRONG, RUINED MY LIFE. and this is how. We had nothing in common except sex and that made us think we were compatible. We married, had 2 children, got divorced when they were 6 and 8 and I raised them and he lived locally. At about 20, they just drifted over to their dad and LEFT ME ALONE. He had done not much to help raise them, and I had worked as a teacher and raised them like a work aholic to be able to be a good mom/dad for them. Well, their genetics are like his, so I totally believe if he and I hadn't given in to premarital sex, we would never have connected. I lost everything i ever dreamed of. All I wanted to do was be a wife, and mother and teacher. I lost my kids from having premarital sex. A friend said I am a dog who married a cat and had 2 cat children !! it is true and I have suffered worse and worse and now I have a grand daughter I don't get to see because I am a dog and my daughter is a cat. I hope you realize that genetics is strong and if you marry you can divorce the person but your children will often have the same genes etc. I would give anything to go back especially so my own kids would not have had to go thru divorce.

Answer 3

Good job, kid!!!

Abstinence is a sure fire way to prevent unwanted pregnancy, boys telling your intimate secrets, STD's, AIDS, and certain levels of heartache.

No one who waited has ever regretted it. This way, you give yourself to someone who committed first and is willing to begin, learn, and grow with you in marriage.

Sex before/outside of marriage is mostly for physical pleasure. It has very little to do with love and nothing to do with commitment. As a precursor to marriage, it does nothing. Many people who have had sex before marriage wind up with problems in their marriage and even divorce. Marriages of people who first lived together have a 75% divorce rate, so "trial marriages" are not the better idea, either.

You keep your pledge. Don't spend too much time with anyone who disrespects your pledge, especially if it's a good looking guy. Remember, no guy is worth giving into his pressure to have his way - no matter what he says about love, he is only after the "goodies".

If you "date", don't go anywhere with a guy alone. Spend time among friends, or at each others house with folks at home. Don't get in a car with a guy alone - have a friend or sibling along. Believe it or not, a relationship can be built without being "alone" with each other - it has been done before.

Hope some of this helps.

Answer 4

Statistics show that "abstinence pledges" only postpone sexual intercourse for a short period of time. Teenagers who have taken abstinence pledges also tend to engage in more oral and anal sex than other teens because they consider it to be a "loophole."

If you don't want to have sex, then don't allow yourself to be pressured into doing anything you don't want to do. It's as simple as that. But forget the silly pledges.

edit: Here's a dose of reality that Thom1274 (below) hasn't thought about. I'm not saying you should start sleeping around, but if wait until marriage to have sex for the first time, you could end up spending your entire life with a man who is unable to satisfy you. It happens all the time.

When you meet Mr. Right, there's nothing wrong with taking him for a test run before you decide to buy. Just make sure you use protection.

Answer 5

You should read "Theology of the Body" by Christopher West. It is a Catholic book, but trust me, you will not regret reading it. I'm going to be 28 in a week, and I have maintained my virginity my whole life. I'm getting married in December, and I can say that keeping my virginity has been one of the best, if not the best, decisions I have ever made. Congratulations on making that decision. God bless!

Answer 6

If you make this pledge now, you'll be kicking your own a** in two years. I don't condone making promises unless you fully intend to keep them. Does this mean you won't be able to masterbate too? Abstinence is only an idea not a promise, you choose what you do with it.

Answer 7

keeping your panties on works well. But I mean...you just say 'I pledge to be abstinent' and maybe tie a ribbon around your wrist. Do you really need an object to be abstinent?

Answer 8

Your spouse would probably be more pleased if you haven't been sexually active before marriage. No fear of aids, std's, all sorts of nasties out there.

Answer 9

If that's what you want to do, then there is nothing wrong with that. You should still try to learn about safe sex though, even if you don't need to apply the knowledge.

Answer 10

Your wife will thank you if you save yourself for her. Mine thanked me, and I thanked her for saving herself as well. It's the best way to go for many reasons.