Recently, my closest male friend told me that he the way he felt about me had changed, and basically declared his undying love for me. I reacted awfully - I've never seen him as anything other than a great mate - and I kind of just pushed it aside and pretended everything was the same as before, which I know I shouldn't have done.
My friends think I'm mad for wanting to turn him down, because he's such a lovely guy, but the fact is that he's just too immature, however sweet he his, and I can't see him as anything more than a friend, especially when there are other guys I'm interested in.
How do I let him know that I don't feel the same way, without hurting his feelings? And will he still be a friend? Or will he want to distance himself from me?
I don't want to lose him!
Thanks for your help :)
2007-08-08 09:08:14 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
If you cannot see anything more than friends, then that's quite allright. Don't worry about your friends. Sometimes our friends don't know why we do the things we do. They are our friends, but the truth is this -- they don't live our lives, they are simply a part of it. Until they live our lives and see our own heart, they cannot know why we choose what we do.
It's hard to turn someone down that you call a friend. I know you don't want to lose him as a friend, but the reality is that you don't want to date him. It's alot worse to date him without feelings for him. Be honest with him. Tell him that you simply don't see a future with him. Remind him that it's not fair to him to date him when you really aren't the woman for him. Remind him that there are other people out there that return his feelings. And, that is the best thing for him. You can only be honest. There is no way to know how he will react to it. Your job is to be honest. The rest is up to him. Good luck.
2007-08-08 13:08:55 · answer #1 · answered by One Odd Duck 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There isn't a very good way. You need to stop this cause the longer it goes on the harder and more she is going to get hurt. Let her get on with her life with someone else if she thinks that there is a chance with you she will be waiting on you. I like a guy and I have told him that I like him and I am so shy it was hard we work together at church. So one day I invited him out to eat and we ate and then I asked him if he liked me. He is such a sweet heart he told me that he considered me a friend. He didn't have feelings for me that way. But that we are very close friends. He said I feel like a big brother to you. If anyone hurt you or you just needed me for ANY reason I would be there for you. I really care about you just not in a boyfriend way. If this is the way you feel about her you could tell her this. If you want to be a "big brother" to her and be there for her let her know. I think that this would be the best way to let her know. Hope this helps you.
2016-05-17 07:55:01 · answer #2 · answered by alene 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The reality is someone always gets hurt...tell him you don't feel the same way, and that you dont want anything to change. It may turn out that nothing will, and maybe someday things will be different. I had a similar situation, and just told her I didnt feel the same, and we're still great friends. Hope this helps!
2007-08-08 09:12:08 · answer #3 · answered by Superscottie16 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't eat your cake and have it, he's going to feel rejected and hurt. You owe it to him to be honest, but gentle. 'I'm flattered but I'm not attracted to you in that way' usually makes it clear where you stand. Remember you risk losing his friendship and he will become more mature.
2007-08-08 09:14:33 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be totally upfront and honest ! If he is too imature then tell him that. You will be helping him grow up !
2007-08-08 09:15:07 · answer #5 · answered by lonewolf 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You just say it how it feels, they should understand.
2007-08-08 09:25:24 · answer #6 · answered by Unbreakable Me 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋