We have been dating for over 3 years, she is from a different country and moved here to be close to me, now she has a good job and stays at home we live together, I travel all the time and I cheated on her when I traveled, not because I dont love her, because is the way I'd been all my life "free" but I want to settle down and be good. She found out I cheated on her 3 months ago and it's been very hard the relationship since then, She is trying to forgive me and we are trying to make it work, I went to England for a job for almost 3 weeks, then I decided to go to Amsterdam and just check out the city before my way home (my flight was going there anyway) another friend from work wanted to check out the city too, I told her about it and She was cool and was ok with it, my friend and I decided to stay one more day in Amsterdam and I told my girlfriend and she got upset now, Who is selfish in this situation? What is the right thing for me to do from now on?
2007-08-08 08:36:49 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You say that you love this girl - but you don't even really trust yourself do you?
You know in your heart that you will not be faithfull to her - you are already making excuses in your own mind.
If you loved this girl - who sounds as though she deserves a great deal more than what you have got to offer - you should let her go to try to find a man who knows what love is.
Put yourself in her shoes.
Would you - could you - forgive her if she had been cheating?
I doubt it.
If you know that this woman is the woman that you want to be with for the rest of your life - you put your past ways behind you - as a child puts away his toys when he becomes a man - and you vow to be faithful in every way to this woman who appears to love you - even though you have disrespected her in the most vile way a woman can be desrespected.
You should get down on your knees and thank God that she is willing to try to keep this relationship going - and while you are down there you should beg her for forgiveness.
When you are ready to be a man - make the decision to put away the toys of temptation and get ready to be a strong, honest and loving partner to the woman who is willing to be your support through thick and thin.
I wish you luck and I hope that when you do make the decision - she is still willing to be with you.
In short my friend - it is way past time for you to grow up.
2007-08-08 08:47:35 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Bottom line. If you cheated on your girlfriend, then you have violated her trust big time. She has the right to be hurt by what you did (assuming she is faithful herself). You now have to work really, really hard to regain her trust.
If you want her to forgive you, then you need to do two main things in your relationship. First, don't cheat on her ever again. Second, don't do anything she may find suspicious like spending extra nights in a city where wine, women, and song can be had for a cheap price. If you tell her you will be at home a certain time, BE THERE and don't be late. You may also want to crank up the romantic gestures as well.
2007-08-08 08:44:46 · answer #2 · answered by davester1970 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You say your trying to make it work .... thats BS. You dot try to make it work and go to Amsterdam. YOUR selfish if you really cared about her you wouldnt have gone. The right thing to do is deal with the consequences and be her slave. Do what ever she wants!!!!! (at least for now) oh by the way KEEP IT IN THE PANTS
2007-08-08 08:42:43 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Gotta earn the trust back. Unfortunately there is no clear cut way to do this. You guys need to communicate, continue building your relationship. If she cant ever trust you, then maybe there is nothing left to salvage. Just keep showing her she is your only one, only one you want or need. Besides that isnt much that can be done, actions speak louder than words, especially when you say nothing at all.
2007-08-08 08:42:14 · answer #4 · answered by adr3nalin3 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
they say once a cheater always a cheater, but im not sure if thats completely true. but i dont know your girlfriends heart, and i also dont know how hurt she is. i mean it will take time for her to gain your trust back. the right thing 4 you to do from now on is not cheat anymore. that hurts
~em
2007-08-08 08:42:28 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to break up and find someone else. She will never forgive you and always know in the back of her mind that you can't be trusted. You have ruined your relationship and now both of you have to move on. let her move on.
2007-08-08 08:42:04 · answer #6 · answered by julie W 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The right thing for you to do is to tell her just how much you love and care about her. If you are sorry tell her so. But you also need to show her that you truly are sorry. Do what ever it takes to win her back.
2007-08-08 08:42:39 · answer #7 · answered by vw chick 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its not about who is selfish ..its about trusting..you cheated on her once so iguess she still got that in her mind...so you should earn the trust back from her ..it will take some time but one day she can trust you again ..and hey cheating is really messed up and i hope you learned some lesson :)..but anyway good luck and i hope you 2 get good again .
2007-08-08 08:44:17 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well its pretty important to know how she found out too man. But you lost some of her trust, which is one of the hardest things to get back. There's nothing you can do but be loyal really. And depending on how she found out, you should've denied it the death.
2007-08-08 08:41:07 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Prove to her that she can trust you again, i dont think she is being selfish.
You cheated on her!! of course she is going to think "will he do it again"
Maybe you should come home on time to show that you want to be with her.
2007-08-08 08:41:31 · answer #10 · answered by kittie 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋