My gf wants to travel to the UK with her ex bf and travel with him, sleep in his bed (she says with a big T shirt on) and they will only occasionally hug, no sex she says. Do i trust her? How would you feel?
2007-08-08 08:21:54 · 49 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Ok, this happened to a friend of mine- she was naive then, and if you think nothing will happen you're being naive now.
Her (then) bf wanted to go to Paris w/ his ex gf b/c they bought the tickets when they were still together (or whatever) and he didn't want to lose the ~$1000 bucks and the experience. <--- understandable if you're SINGLE. But this kid had a new gf of 3 months (my friend).
She argued her point but finally let him go trusting him.
So guess what happened? He slept with his ex. THINK ABOUT IT!!!
(Being whisked away to an unknown/new place full of whimsy and romance and beauty AND you have someone you've already been intimately involved with there with you..... you do the math. Its not rocket science).
Nostalgia has great power: "once for old times' sake...."
People are people, you can trust someone but only so much- and if you were in that situation it may be different (so you say) but you should never put yourself in those dangerous situations.
Its not a fair position to put you in either, if you say yes you're allowing her to potentially jeopardize your relationship, if you say no- you're the asshole jipping your gf out of a trip and you're the one jeopordizing it.
Tough choice man, talk to her about this more and explain what actually happens in romantic places- ask her how she would feel (really) if the roles were reveresed...
Good luck. I dont envy your dilemma but I hope you find what you need...
I would say NO, definately not cool.
2007-08-08 09:16:25 · answer #1 · answered by Hopeful contemplation 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow.... thats a tough one. Shes' been intimate with this guy in the past obviously. So you know there is or at least was an attraction. I'd love to be able to trust my gf in that situation but, I think I would find it very very hard to do so. Tell her you will be sleeping with your ex while she is gone? That you promise to leave your shirt on?
2007-08-08 08:25:29 · answer #2 · answered by Uncle Tim 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Number one it sounds like she may be testing you to see what your reaction is going to be. Secondly she may be looking for a reason to break off the relationship with you...I would seriously have to think of why she would want to do this and then tell you all the details. Trusting someone is one thing but so is respect. She is not showing any respect to you or your relationship. and to be frank what is a true relationship with out respect
2007-08-08 08:50:08 · answer #3 · answered by chris d 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your question seems to hold some specifics that would concern the heck out of me: why must she sleep in his bed, why must she tell you that she would wear a big t-shirt and how can she tell you that they would only occasionally hug?
Tell her to go on her trip - but to keep on going after-wards.
2007-08-08 08:26:46 · answer #4 · answered by citizenno10890 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
iv been the girl that wanted to stay friends with my ex and be with my current... its a tough spot.. maybe there are things about her friendship that she needs or is used to. i dont know how long youv been together but love can easily render time meaningless,,, i would definitely let her know you are not comfortable with this....
BTW have you met him?...when i tried to stay friends with my ex, to make my husband comfy, i would let them hang out, shoot pool, yea sometimes awkward(our friendship did not last bc there were too many "feelings" on both parts.. ultimately i chose my husband over my friendship with my ex bc as much as i love my husband i didnt trust myslef with my ex and i knew i didnt want to hurt my husband..... that she said there would be hugging, do you think she would be honest of more happened? and have you asked her how she might feel if you told her that since she was gone and you were lonely your ex was going to stay with you till she gets back-only hugging?
obviously with free will and all you cant make a decision for her and you cant very well fault her for your anxieties but certainly she should understand why you would be uncomfortable and make effort to make you more comfortable/familiar with him esp if the friendship is here to stay... her willingness to be empathetic could very well let you know where she stands..
2007-08-08 08:37:12 · answer #5 · answered by smittnlittlkitn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Any woman that WANTS to spend time with their EX instead of their current BF is looking for trouble and should not be trusted. If you give her the go ahead, you're pretty much giving her your blessing to cheat on you.....
2007-08-08 08:24:30 · answer #6 · answered by Heart of Fire 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hmmn? what is the compilation of words I am looking for? It's on the tip of my tongue......
.....
.....
Oh, I know, GET RID OF HER!
Its not that I wouldnt trust her...ok maybe I dont trust her, but come on. If you dont think there is a chance in hell that there wont be some spark re-kindled while out roaming the UK, you are outta of your mind.
2007-08-08 08:27:44 · answer #7 · answered by Cap'n Mad Jack Cheddar 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO NO NO....are you crazy!? Don't let her do it! All I have to say is temptation temptation temptation...it will be there! I would not let her go...and believe me I am sure of it that she wouldn't want you to go traveling w/ your ex and sleeping in her bed w/ her. That is just crazy. Man oh man...you must be very trustworthy to even think about letting her go. How can you even feel okay about even asking that....man oh man...good luck w/ that.
2007-08-08 08:26:25 · answer #8 · answered by Teeny 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
awww. well my boyfriend told me after almost 2 years. we dated once during our high school freshman year but he cheated on me. then i went overseas for my sophomore year and when i came back for the summer he told me that he didn't know why he missed me so much while i was gone until he saw me again. he said he realized that he was in love for the first time. and we've been together ever since. its been 3 years and we've never been better. he is my first love, my best friend, my companion, my everything. he is also the father of my twins Gailee Marie and Lucas Branden, and we're getting married next june.
2016-05-17 07:32:57 · answer #9 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you serious?
Why isn't she going on VACATION with you?
Seems to me she doesn't want him to be her ex.
The fact this this topic is even on the table makes it look like she's not really into you but knows you won't leave her if she goes.
Sounds like you're the fallback guy.
2007-08-08 08:27:31 · answer #10 · answered by what's the point 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋