my toddler is driving me nuts, I need some good advice?

Question

my toddler is 16 months old adn wil not for the life of me listen to NO!!!!!!, He cant keep his hands off of things that are not meant fo him and im going nuts. I dont know what to do. Ive put him in time out and made him sit. Ive even slapped his hands . 10-20 times in a row and he keeps goign back and doing the smae thing, is this normal behavior?

Answer 1

The only time you should slap a toddlers hands is to immediately get his attention and to immediately make a point about something dangerous-- ie fork to outlet, or reaching up to grab something off the stove. Its meant to startle and grab attention not to actually hurt the baby. Try a stern loud NO! And remove him from the situation. Immediately engage him in an activity that is okay. Get a baby proof section of the house or sit on the floor in his room where it should be okay to touch everything. Try specifics if he goes for an outlet Say "OO OUCH! NO NO! OUCH!" Or something hot say "OOH HOT BABY! NO NO!" The key is to startle and get his attention. Hearing no a thousand times a day makes him eventually tune you out. It is very normal and very tiring. Good luck.

Answer 2

This is normal. He is too little to understand. Just go through and child proof your home, or limit him with gates and such to area's that are child proof. I even resorted to fencing off our T.V. stand with a child pen fence. Slapping hands doesn't do much good other than to teach them to hit, and neither does yelling. I have a niece whose mother disciplined in this manor at that age and she's now almost four and a nightmare to be around. If you feel yourself getting frustrated put him in a safe place(i.e. a crib or playpen) and take a time out for yourself, slowly count to a hundred, go back in the room and hug him.
Check out the parenting section at your local Barnes and Nobles and get some books that will give you a better idea on how to cope with your toddler. My favorite is 1-2-3 Magic which is very effective discipline for ages 2-12.
Also try joining a mommy and me group so that you can get support from other mommies and have adult interaction. It's a sanity saver. Try looking on Meetup.com

Answer 3

I have had the same issues, and I've just found that I have to put away/lock away anything I don't want him to have. He's testing his limits, and doesn't have any clue that it's bothering you. What I've done is given my toddler something to distract him, like a bright toy or book, or sang a song, anything small and distracting to keep his attention away from what he's doing wrong. I've done the stern "NO" and a hand slap... but I've also found that a "time out" in the crib (1 minute per year of age) after that stern no works very well. I make sure to shut the door too, so that he gets the idea (eventually!!) that he shouldn't touch. It just takes time and patience hon, good luck!

Answer 4

He doesn't quite get NO yet. Move stuff out of his reach for now. If it's a TV or something try distracting him with a cool toy. Or go to www.rightstart.com and find all the neat baby proofing stuff they have like TV guards and cabinet locks. Lock down everything you can. It will keep you from having to say NO all the time. Won't that be nice?!!

Answer 5

Tami's answer below is the best of the bunch. Smacking a child's hand should be done sparingly and only to signify that the child is about to do something dangerous (e.g. pulling on a wire) or harmful (e.g. biting someone).

The name of the game at this stage is redirection. Get their attention on something else. You also need to remove whatever the object(s) of attention are from his reach.

Some things we did with our son that were fairly successful were to say "You can look but you can't touch" and to allow supervised touching.

Answer 6

OK, help is on the way. This is what I did with my first child;
he was always touching things (curiosity). I finally sat him on my lap one day, looked him straight in the eyes and spoke with him. I told him "you see that flower arrangement on the table? That is mommies pretty. You can touch it once, go play with your toys and do not touch it again". He said "ok".
From that day forward, everytime I sat out something new - he would touch it once and then go play with his toys. He was just curious and needed to get it out of his system. I did the same with the next two and it worked with them also.
In the kitchen, I set aside a low cupboard for them, filled with Tupperware and pots/pans. They knew this was their cabinet as long as I was in the kitchen. They played in there and there only (they never once even tried to play in any other cabinets).
Kids have their own toys - but they're also curious and always want to be near you. I discovered ways to satisfy their curiosity, gave them their own play areas, kept them near me and we were all happy.

Answer 7

Slapping hands is not normal, soon he'll be slapping. Since teaching by imitation works with a toddler, show him what he can touch and make a game of it.

Answer 8

My daughter is 16 months too....he is TESTING YOU girl. I spank my daughter (not hurt cuz for geez sakes, she's got on a diaper). I've done less and less of it as she's gotten older because she knows what I'm saying to her and she knows she'll get a spank if she doesn't listen. If she's doing something she's not supposed to I'll say "spank!?!" as if telling her if she doesn't stop what she's doing, I'm going to spank her. But your son has to know what spank means if it's going to work. Spanking your children IS NOT WRONG. There is a CLEAR difference in spanking and beating. There is no reason to beat your child, but a firm pop on that diapered bottom will make him upset enough to stop what he's doing. I always always always when I spank, let my daughter get upset for a min....if she even does...and then call her to me a hug her and tell her why I spanked her and that she shouldn't do it and that I love her. She is NOT by any means afraid of me, but she knows when I mean business. Good luck to you.

Answer 9

Got a 15-month-old with the same defiant behavior.

First - according to my pediatrician time-outs only work when they are around 2.

Second - until then it redirection time. Redirect their attention to something else.

Third - your not alone remember hitting only teaches your child when they are not getting their way to resort to violence.

And yes - driving mom and dad to drink at this age is NORMAL.

Answer 10

STOP HITTING NOW! That is child abuse. touching is a way a child learns. You have to put is Vast amounts of time and energy to keeps kids away from what you do not want them to touch.

It is totally the norm, but hitting Will traumatize the child. Get to a therapist and discuss why you strike the child and cannot enjoy the child's learning curve, and you think it is a challenge to your authority when it is not.