Lets all speak german, I mean Euro English?

Question

The EU Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility .

As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy.

The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensi bl riten styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.

If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl

Answer 1

that is soo cool
star for you,
did you really write all that?
is it true?
by the end i didn't understand it


wait....what happened to e!!!!!! without e my name (eve) is v
oh. only getting rid of silent "e"s good good

Answer 2

You want everybody on a whole continent to change their language to save a few tourists the confusion of having to communicate in a different language? That means people like my mother, not going to travel to England, 75 years old, never been good in learning languages. My next door neighbour, in her late 60's, speaking Spanish and some Dutch. That old guy in Greece who has never been off his island and not likely to ever want that, even less to ever leave his country. And so on and on and on. I like talking English and writing English but I will never voluntary drop my own language, likely not even if/when living in a country where it is no use at all. It is possible to change the language from an area from the top down, France has done it in French Flanders, there is virtually no Flemish speaking people left there, but it has taken them 100 years of very strict measures. In Brittany they have not managed, even though it was forbidden to speak the language for a long time, the people were forbidden to name their children with the traditional family names and on and on. But there are still many people hanging on to their own language. If English will stay the first foreign language for almost all European young people, it will naturally become the de-facto language for most of Europe. People from different countries meeting each other already will switch to English more than to any other language, even if they all know it, but it will take generations, maybe even centuries, before everybody in Europe will speak some English, and even then, most will not be fluent in it. By the way, people who live near a language border often learn to speak or at least to understand the language of the other side of the divide, so likely if some local people had accompanied you they would have chatted in local dialect and all people in the three language areas would have understood. It does not happen everywhere but it is more common than not. Or the local dialects are almost the same in the different language areas.

Answer 3

I've got a better idea.. why don't we preserve the diversity of culture (which language provides) and learn a foreign language instead... this would be good not only fir society, but is also good for you as it has been proven that bilingual people are significantly less likely to suffer from Alzheimers later in life because they use more of their brain than monolingual people.

Also, what right does any individual culture have to impose their language on anyone else - English is only the lingua franca at the moment because americans are either too lazy, too stupid or just unable to learn another language (that is if you can call the american language english)

Answer 4

Ve haf vays of making you talk! Zer vil be anarky on answrs - no chang ther then! Zig Heil!

Answer 5

Hahaha. No problem for me though. I speak English and German.

Answer 6

mir ist kalt in meine haus. ich musse ein pullover wear!

Answer 7

Ach so,
Fuchen zie 0ff

Answer 8

Danke fur ze laff!!

have a *.

Answer 9

LOL

brilliant!!

=D

Answer 10

Klever!!