Christians can God forgive this..........see ? below?

Question

Divorce is rampant in our country even among Christians. I know the Bible says that the two grounds for divorce are adultry and abandonment? But many get divorced because of physical and verbal abuse and substance abuse and neglect in marraige and unfufillment and for also being uncompatiable.
I know some very good people going through this right now.
Can God forgive divorce even though it may not be for the reasons listed in the Bible? What is the best way to encourage and minister to those getting a divorce because it is a painful process.

Answer 1

Well, one way to think about it is to look at the underlying meaning of the words "adultery" (also called "unfaithfulness") and "abandonment".

A person that violates his or her marriage vows is being unfaithful to his or her spouse and, in a strong sense, has abandoned him or her (even if the person hasn't physically left). Physical and verbal abuse are clearly violations of marriage vows ("love, honor, and cherish" are NOT consistent with abuse). Substance abuse can also be a violation of the vows but only if it leads to abuse or neglect of those vows (I've known people who have a happy marriage despite substance USE or even abuse by one or both parties).

Personally, I have a bigger problem with the "incompatible" excuse...that one seems like a cop out like "I'm not perfectly happy so I'll just leave". Marriage involves hard work and compromise...not compromising on the basic vows like putting up with abuse or infidelity, but compromising on the little things like where do you squeeze the toothpaste and who does the laundry! If God is the center of a marriage, HE will help the two parties learn to live with each other in harmony.

As for whether God can forgive divorce, the answer is yes, of course. God can forgive any and all mistakes...Jesus forgave the people that crucified him. Does this mean that people should just divorce and ask for forgiveness when things get tough...no...God wants them to stay together and work on their marriage. If I was ministering to someone who was contemplating divorce, I would focus on helping them discover if there were areas of the marriage that they hadn't turned over to God and asked for his help. If the answer was yes, then I would advise them to keep trying. On the other hand, I would advise a woman (or man) that was being physically, verbally, or mentally abused by a person that had no desire to change to get out of the marriage!

Answer 2

Listen the bible is meant as a guide not a set of rules. God forgives all if they did things for a good reason.

1) Divorce to get cash and have sex with other people- Unforgivable
2) Divorce because of abuse, hatred, incompatibility, shocking truth. Thats all forgivable.

Answer 3

Leaving a spouse is completely acceptable because of abuse.

If you want to keep it Biblical:

It says in there that abondonment is an OK reason to leave? Well...abuse is emotional abandonment. Substance abuse is abandonment. Neglet is certainly abandonment. Heavenly Father understands us and will not condem us for such things.

A talk on divorce by an Apostle in the Quorum of the 12:
http://www.lds.org/portal/site/LDSOrg/menuitem.b12f9d18fae655bb69095bd3e44916a0/?vgnextoid=2354fccf2b7db010VgnVCM1000004d82620aRCRD&locale=0&sourceId=ec21b5658af22110VgnVCM100000176f620a____&hideNav=1

Answer 4

Yes, you missed the point. Man was made with an Innocent mind, that is pure and all choices they make are based on the impute given to them. If they decided to trust a snake out of greed then God's truth, that was their choice. If God made them more resistant then it would have been one sided and not out true ability to make a free choice. If you did any further reading you would see that God immediately began the proper steps to reconcile man to Him. First he told them the earliest prophecy of Christ, that the woman's child shall bruise the snakes head and the snake bruise his heal. The next is God himself shed the first blood and killed a bear so that He could cover the shame of man and woman, i.e. cloth them for their sake. The curse is self perpetuating do to the fact that it is a corruption or infection on creation. As for hell, people walk into hell by their own accord. There are two places to go, to God or away from God. To walk away from God is to walk out His presence. Since God is everywhere the only place is a pocket area where you can finally escape God. You walk the path, no one is grabbing at you. God can't force you to follow Him. There is only going to be one of two people giving this once sentence in the end. Either you will say, "Your will be done", or God will say, "Your will be done". I prefer to be the one saying, "Your will be done." If you are willing to turn your back on God, then so be it, but you can't say He didn't try everything to help you from the path You Chose.

Answer 5

Even good people make bad choices. That is why God instituted the concept of Grace.

Grace is what wipes the sins of the saved from their record. I believe the bible actually says they are 'blotted out'.

As for the counseling, the first step is to "back that thing up" and do a better job counseling those who intend to enter marriage. They need to know that it is a Covenant, not just a civil contract they are entering into. This is not something to be taken lightly.

Secondly, newlyweds need encouragement through the first years of marriage. They need to have other newlywed couples with christian attitudes to talk to, so they don't feel so alone. Once folks know that whateve little "wrinkles" happen in a marriage, they are not all alone in their troubles. Knowing that others are having the same issues is comforting and gives them the courage to press on.

All married couples need fellowship with other married couples for similar reasons as stated above, regardless of the longevity of their marriage. As couples age, ill health becomes more of a reality. Again, couples experiencing the ravages of age need to be able to talk to others in the same or a similar boat.

Training is an issue, too. I am a certified facilitator for the Family Dynamics Institute. We have classes for regular folks who want to take their marriage up a level. Whereever your marriage is, on the rocks or in the clouds, you can make it even better and even stronger. Our church participates along with a bunch of other congregations in preparing an annual "Midwest Marriage Retreat" for married couples. At these events couples can relax, enjoy fellowship, and attend short lectures and classes designed to enrich the marriage. These are fun events, but serious, too.

Now, despite all these efforts, it is possible that divorces will happen anyway.

Better counseling to get folks out of the "revenge" tactics that hurting people often resort to is essential. In the very worst cases, we have people with children using the kids as little weapons to hurt each other.

The problem is, it is the kids that end up hurting the most. Churches need to step up and help these kids, most of all, so they don't follow in the footsteps of their parents and end up as miserable adults.

Answer 6

Divorce is a growing problem in America. The casual attitude of divorce in the secular world is spilling over into the church where the statistics are only slightly lower. Consider the following statistics from the US Census Bureau:
In 1920, there was 1 divorce for every 7 marriages. That is 14%.
In 1940, there was 1 divorce for every 6 marriages. That is 17%.
In 1960, there was 1 divorce for every 4 marriages. That is 25%.
In 1972, there was 1 divorce for every 3 marriages. That is 33%.
In 1977, there was 1 divorce for every 2 marriages. That is 50%.(1)
Of course, the divorce rate has stayed around 50% since the 70's, but has recently exceeded that.

Marriage was first instituted by God in the Garden of Eden. It is a monogamous, physical and spiritual union between a man and a woman (Gen. 2:21-24), where adultery was forbidden (Exodus 20:14), and dissolution was not allowed. But it didn't take long for the monogamous arrangement to become corrupted. Polygamy became an accepted social custom (Gen. 16:1-2; Deut. 21:15). In fact, many of the Kings of Israel were polygamists. The norm, however, was, and still is, monogamy.

People Got Divorced in the Bible.

As is evident in the statistics above, people get divorced. Even in the Bible there was divorce. In the OT, only men were able to divorce their wives (Deut. 24:1-4). In the NT, women were also apparently able to initiate divorce (Mark 10:12; 1 Cor. 7:13). But, what is a Christian to do if he or she has been divorced? Can he remarry? Should he stay single? Is the Christian guilty of a perpetual sin if he or she divorces?
God wants the Christian to take marriage very seriously. Jesus said, "What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate," (Mark 10:9 -- see also 1 Cor. 7:10-11; Heb. 13:4.).(2) But, because we live in an imperfect world, the Bible speaks about the circumstance of divorce. Let's take a look.

The Biblical Reasons For Divorce

Adultery: Jesus said, "And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery," (Matt. 19:9). The word in Greek for immorality is porneia from which we get the word pornography. Sexual immorality, i.e., adultery, is a grounds for divorce according to Jesus.
Abandonment: In addressing the issue of husband and wife, Paul said, "Yet if the unbelieving one leaves, let him leave; the brother or the sister is not under bondage in such cases, but God has called us to peace," (1 Cor. 7:15).

Some Questions Answered

I would like to say up front that the following answers are my opinions. Also, part of the answers to questions on divorce must include grace. God is not a Law Master who wants to forcefully bring His people into broken submission. God is very forgiving and loving. He wants His people to experience joy and fulfillment in their lives and this can only be done in the grace of forgiveness. Jesus bore all your sins, even the sins of divorce. They have been paid for. He will not bring them up again on the Day of Judgment. You are free in Christ.
However, there are some biblical guidelines that we need to be aware of regarding divorce. I offer the following outline as a suggestion of options.

What if a person was an unbeliever when he got divorced and it was for an unbiblical reason and later became a Christian? What should he do?
If reconciliation is an option, seek it.
However,
If the ex-spouse is not a Christian, he should not remarry the spouse because a believer is not to marry an unbeliever (2 Cor. 6:14).
If either spouse has gotten married, remarriage is not an option either (Deut. 24:3-4; Mark 10:11-12).
If the ex spouse will have nothing to do with any reconciliation or you are not able to contact this person, you are free to remarry.
If the spouse has died, you are free to remarry.
What if a person was a believer when he got divorced, but the reason was not adultery or abandonment, and wants to remarry someone different now what should he do?
If you initiated the divorce, then you should not remarry (Matt. 5:31), However....
Reconciliation with the initial spouse should be sought with confession of sin and the request for forgiveness.
If it was the spouse that left without a biblical reason, then you are free to remarry.
Reconciliation should be sought with a confession of sin.
What if a couple was divorced, married others, got divorced, and wants to become remarried to again?
The Bible says that you cannot return to your first spouse after you remarried (Deut. 24:3-4; Jer. 3:1).
If you have, nevertheless, already gotten married, continue in your marriage and seek the Lord's forgiveness. He will give it.
What if a person was a believer when he got divorced, but the reason was not adultery or abandonment, and has already gotten married. Is he in sin?
Depending on the circumstances, he may be. But he should confess his sin to the lord and spouse and seek forgiveness from the original spouse and then he should stay married and be the best husband (or wife) he can be.

I hope these brief answers help you understand some aspects of divorce and remarriage. But, brothers and sisters in Christ, please seek the advice of your pastor in this area if you have further questions.

Answer 7

Divorce is a sin just like lying, cheating, stealing, and gossip are sins. And God forgives sin when we wholeheartedly repent from it. In regards to divorce specifically, I think we are all accountible for the decisions we make. Just be supportive and listen to your friends concerns.

Answer 8

I think there are some times when two people just shouldn't be married! Things are different now from when the Bible was written, the biggest being that women can have their own lives now and no longer depend on a man for support.

It's completely possible for two people to just grow apart. If they don't get along, if they are no longer working towards the same shared goals, there's no reason they should stay married.

I certainly can't speak for God, but I think God wants us to live happy, fulfilling lives, to be happy with ourselves, to reach our full potential. And you can't do that when you're married 'in name only' to someone you don't get along with.

Answer 9

Yes, you can be forgiven for many many things. I do not think that God would take issue with a woman for divorcing her abusive husband. (If that truly is the reason) Jesus came so people could be forgiven for all things, all sins.

Answer 10

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