Is it okay to throw a baby shower for someone who's already got 2 kids?

Question

A friend of mine who already has two children (ages 4 and 5)is now pregnate with am unexpected third child. About a year or so ago, she and her husband sold or gave away a lot of the baby stuff they'd accumulated over the course of two pregnancies. They aren't in a desperate financial situation, but they aren't loaded either. I would like to host a shower for her, but am concerned about how it would be recived by others since she does already have two kids. Thoughts? Ideas? Comments?

Answer 1

Sure, particularly if it is their first pregnancy in a while.

Answer 2

I would not be offended to be invited to a baby shower for someone who had multiple children. After all, we're celebrating the birth of a new baby (not the mother's ability to get pregnant!). I think some of the old traditions about just having one shower come from an older day and age when people used more re-usable items (almost no one uses cloth diapers anymore), and also, when people kept those items stashed away for a moment's need, and had larger families, so there was almost always a baby in the house. However, times have changed, and I think people would be more than understanding of a shower for the new baby. If the mother registers, I would suggest against putting large items on a subsequent baby shower (such as baby beds or strollers). For a subsequent shower, I believe that if someone wants to purchase something in this price range, they should talk to the couple - it shouldn't be on the list as an assumption of what might be purchased. But there are always loads of baby things that will be needed - pacifiers, diapers, bottles, etc. - that won't break the bank for guests and I am sure people will be more than pleased to help out!

Answer 3

Most people I know who are having a second or third or fourth child have a baby shower with each, and it's not considered rude unless they were rude about prior showers (did not thank anyone for anything the first time around), or they throw it themselves.

The argument is about who the shower is for. Is it for the parents? If it is, the suggestion that they get only one shower makes a smidgeoun of sense.

Personally, I think the shower is to celebrate the new baby. And every baby deserves to be celebrated, whether they are the first or the fourth.

A lot of times, a second or third baby shower is more of a diaper shower, where you bring the day-to-day stuff that can't be saved, like diapers, wipes, baby bath stuff, etc. Then there are less expensive things in there, too, but it's not like the first one, where things like furniture, bedding, and all other major baby stuff is common.

I see nothing in the world wrong with it.

It may be a good idea for her and her husband to purchase the biggies, like carseat, crib, stroller, etc., and keep things like sheets, blankets, clothes, toys, etc. for the shower.

It depends somewhat on your culture. No one I know would have an issue about it, though.

Answer 4

Well I can only answer for myself, but I did do some searching around and the answer is OF COURSE you can! I threw a shower for someone who was having their 3rd child as well. Many people either sell or give away their old baby stuff and especially if they're not planning for any more children.

Showers are a great way for family and friends to get together and celebrate the upcoming birth and of course to support the expectant mom, both emotionally and materially! If anyone doesn't think that you should do this, they may decline the invitation, but other than dwelling on that prospect - I say go ahead and have fun. We did!

Answer 5

Where I come from you get a baby shower for "EACH CHILD", not just your first born. I have had baby showers given for me for both of my children. It shouldn't be a problem at all and anyone who has concerns about it should be ashamed of themselves because having kids is a hard thing to do and everyone needs all the help they can get, or just to be nice. How would it look when the first born gets older and looks at his baby book and see's the shower that was given in his honor, but the other two kids don't have that opprotunity because no one gave a shower because they were the 2nd or 3rd born in the family! Just let your friend do a baby registry and that way people can buy what she really needs or doesn't already have.

Answer 6

Thats very common in my area, to have a shower for all kids. Hey they are all special, no matter what order they come in! Also, just b/c they may still have clothing and a bed or something to that nature doesn't mean they still couldn't use a little help with diapers and baby food and such! especially since they did give a lot of stuff away, they will need some more things. Maybe phrase it as a "stocking up" shower and suggest things that are necessities like diapers and baby wipes, you can't really pass those down from child to child....lol!

Answer 7

I've attended showers for people having their 5th child. Even if they saved everything from previous kids, the baby is going to need some new things, like binkys, bottles, new clothes, diapers. Mom may need some new stuff, too. It's important for this mother to celebrate her child's birth, since it wasn't planned, she may not be that keen on the idea. But a shower will get everyone's spirits up and change an accident into a party.

TX Mom

Answer 8

Sure I think it would be fine. You might make a humorous invite.... So that the invited guests know that the family is having an unexpected dividend after they sold and gave away much of their baby items! I think it could be really cute.....

My daughter had this situation.... and many of her friends who had a lot of stuff gave her things too. she still had her crib, baby chair and her infant seat and stroller, but had sold or gave away much of the clothing.... She had given away her baby swing though. Which was too bad as the swing was a really nice one....

You could even make a second hand or gently used baby shower. Sort of a Second Hand Rose Shower. So many baby items get such little use that they are hardly worn at all....and look brand new... But pass that by the mom though...

Answer 9

I've heard two different rules of thought on this. There's the rule where you only throw a baby shower for the first child. And then I've heard where you're allowed one for each sex. I'd go with the first rule since not everyone chooses to know which sex the child will be.

But then again it's a baby so there's reason to celebrate anyway right?

Answer 10

The shower is for the forth coming child not for the not mother.

Note; I have three children and two grandchildren. whether it is the first or number 10 they are all need diapers,sleeper, blankets socks bath sets and a whole host of other things even if you have other children, the things that you have for another child is used for the other child. We never had so much money that we couldn't have used a little bit of help and that is what it is all about. It has been a long time ago that our children were little but I think that each of them got a new crib. Don't forget to invite grandma, they always have something very nice to add. Have fun and don't worry about whether it is proper or not (I never heard that it wasn't proper)

Answer 11

Invite those that are happy for her. If they don't like the idea, they will not come, or they won't get a gift. I would not have her register anywhere, just keep a list of what she needs for the RSVP questions. Big items, such as crib, stroller, car seat, should be purchased by the parents. Smaller items, clothing, burp rags, diapers, toys, books, etc... can be the most helpful items as gifts. It is not unheard of to have a shower for someone with other children, especially if it was a surprise pregnancy.