I am going to my 20 year high school reunion and taking my gay partner of 17 years?

Question

I grew up in a small town in Missouri.

We are lucky, because we are athletic guys, not perceived as gay...and most people would never physically try to harm us.

I decided if I were married to a woman, I would take my wife...so what's the difference....this is the love of my life.

We do not flaunt our lifestyle, but we do not hide it either. We will not mug down with each other in front of anyone...but, I am sure, as several know I am gay, that most will understand by the end of the evening.

Funny thing is, I am secure in my life, who I am, where I am...but, a little nervous about this.

Part of the reason I am going is for vanity, to show those who ridiculed me in school that I am successful, attractive, etc...(too bad we won't be taking our shirts off, so I can show my 39 year old rock-hard abs) :-) I also want to see some old friends

I asked in G&L groups if anyone had experience with this...but, wanted input from R&S folks too.

So, fundamentalist Christians how would you respond in such a situation...would you show God's love by extending a handshake to an old friend, or stare with ridicule.

Progressive thought Christians, your thoughts?

Non-Christians/Atheists-have you ever experienced a similar situation because of your non-belief?

One last detail...my hometown is small and primarily conservative, fundamentalist Christian, which is primarily Southern Baptist.

Answer 1

I'm a Christian and i would shake your hand. It isnt my place to judge your lifestyle, thats God's job. The only thing i have to do is treat you fairly with respect and love.

Answer 2

I actually just went to my 20 year reunion. Now there were a few people that were there that had come out and one showed up with his husband. I could tell during one conversation with a girl she was uncertain of how I was going to react when she brought it up. She mentioned that she had just gotten out of a long relationship and, (rather uncomfortably) said that she still hadn't found Ms. Right yet to which I replied that someday we will find Mrs. Right instead of Mrs. Right Now. After that the conversation really flowed and we had a really great discussion. You are what you are. If they have a problem with you being gay, move on and don't lose any sleep over it. When you go, bring your partner, introduce them as such and don't worry about it. I am sure you will find out that your class has grown up and matured and really doesn't care if you are gay or not, it really doesn't change you as a person. Have a great time! ~Ò¿Ó~

Answer 3

Everyone is a little nervous going to class reunions.. Remember as this is the 20 year reunion there will still be those few people who feel the need to get drunk and act stupid..

Go, introduce your partner and enjoy your evening.. Those who don't accept you for who you are and want to make trouble will only make themselves look foolish especially if you and your partner keep your cool..

Class reunions usually work like this..

5 years no one has changed they all act just as stupidly as they acted in H.S.

10 years a few have grown up but most act stupidly.

15 years the majority have grown up a few act stupidly

20 4-5 act stupidly the rest have grown up and will tell those acting stupidly that they are idiots..

25 years.. All but 1-2 are grown up the 1-2 who aren't find the evening boring and drink themselves into a stupor very quickly..

Just keep an eye on the room mingle but don't allow yourselves to be cornered.. If someone begins to attack walk away they have the choice of stopping or following and making themselves look foolish.. Others will step in and tell the idiots to back off just keep your cool..

Have a great time and remember most reunions are at hotels with pools so you may get a chance to show off your abs if you stay at the hotel and use the pool :)

Answer 4

You wouldn't be asking this question if you were entirely comfortable with the situation.

It is really up to you. Everybody is going to know your situation within about 5 minutes after you show up (since everyone else will be bringing their opposite sex spouses). At that point, the consequences will be out of your hands.

If you don't want to cause a ruckus but at the same time, take your partner, then do so and introduce your partner as your friend. Don't flaunt your lifestyle (eg: kiss, dance, etc.). Just relax and enjoy the evening with your friend at your side.

If you were in California my answer would probably be different, but rural Missouri is another issue.....

Answer 5

"So, fundamentalist Christians how would you respond in such a situation...would you show God's love by extending a handshake to an old friend, or stare with ridicule."

I'm not a fundamentalist Christian (I'm a Christian, period), but I'd have no problem shaking your hand. If you were willing to discuss your lifestyle I'd share with you what God says about it though. I certainly wouldn't flame you. I'm a sinner just like anyone else with my own faults.

Answer 6

Nothing regarding my belief, per se.

When I was in the USMC, I had a good friend named Karl. We were stationed two different places together, and always got along great. We talked about everything "guy" : football, women, etc. When we each got out of the service, about the same time, we lost contact. That was more than 10 years ago.

About a year ago, I found him online...and learned he was gay. I extended an email, saying hi, and trying to make contact. He never responded, although I know for a fact he read it. I was a little put off -- maybe he didn't think I would accept the fact that he was gay. I dunno. It still bugs me.

I hope you and your partner have a blast. Reunions aren't my thing, but more power to you both.

Answer 7

I haven't really had this kinda situation cuz you know, I'm not gay.

But I have been to room full of Catholics who know that I am a Atheist and I really didn't feel welcome at all.

But I think you should take him if you want. But even though that you may appear successful now, taking your gay partner to your high school reunion may make you less impressive. But you will shock them.

But remember that people sometimes find gay to be unimpressive and I am sure that there are some people who will be jealous of you will use your sexual prefrence as a put down.

But I don't think that you should care cuz this is the man you love right.

But this is really up to you. If you want to take him then take him.

Answer 8

I am probably classified as a fund. Christian, and if you were my old friend from school and walked in to our reunion, I hope you wouldn't be offended if my jaw hit the floor. But I'd react the same way if a friend walked in who lost 200 pounds or gained 300, or got married to Julia Roberts and walked in with her.

After the initial shock wore off (in any of those scenarios), yes I would shake your hand. I have a girlfriend who had an affair while she was married, but I still love her as a close friend. So whether I agree or disagree with someone's actions or beliefs, I still love my friends.

Answer 9

>So, fundamentalist Christians how would you respond in such a situation...would you show God's love by extending a handshake to an old friend, or stare with ridicule.

I'd do the former. My HS is in the SF bay area and it's surprising I've never had the chance to prove I'd do this, but trust me I would.

Answer 10

Good for you! I am glad you decided to do it.
As an atheist in an all catholic family (and community) yes, it was difficult going back. Some know, some don't and you get those that avoid you, but I don't pay attention. The hard part was dealing with those that I knew well.

I am sure that your first time openly out was a lot harder. Just be yourself and let them be in awe of who you became (not just because you are gay)

Answer 11

Please excuse my rambling, but I need to tell you a story.
I recently was at a gas station with my two young sons. They were washing the windows while I filled the tank. At the next pump, two men were similarly engaged. One of the men stated "I'm going in to pay". The other responded "Hurry back, I miss you already". They then proceeded to engage in a long passionate kiss. I was not impressed.
I try not to judge other peoples life choices, but displays like that are hard to ignore. As a hetero Christian man, I would not engage in a similar display with my mate in front of young children. Gay or straight, there is a time and a place for everything.
As far as your reunion, be yourself. You say you don't flaunt your lifestyle, great. The people that matter will respect you for who you are, not what you are. Have fun.