How do I get over this?

Question

Many years ago, in Los Angeles CA I was raped and molested by a priest. I had repressed these memories until 6 months ago. I became depressed and sought help and during therapy these memories came out. In checking with family members they confirm the events happened. Now I am mad at everyone. My family, the priest, the Church, myself...I just don't have any clue how to get through this. I was 5 years old when it began and went on for 2 years. No one would believe me, until finally I convinced my grandfather who took me to a doctor who confirmed this and my grandfather rescued me. Unfortunatley he died of a heartattack weeks later and my parents then decieded it would be fun to beat the living hell out of me for a few more years until I became too big for them to hurt anymore. All of the people in this are now dead and I am hurting so bad...I just want it to end. Any help would be greatly appreciated. Thank you for reading and rsponding to this. This is true...not a joke.

I am not spreading hate. I still have my faith and I am still a practicing Roman Catholic. I just want to know how to get over this pain. I want no money or anything from anyone...I just want to be out of this pain.

I have verified this did take place through several remaining family members familiar with the situation. They ignorantly believed letting me forget the incidents would be best for me. God, i wish they would not have done that, I realize that this was such a topic that was never spoken of in the 60's. I know it happened. I just need to figure out how to let it go.

Answer 1

My God!I am so very sorry for your loneliness and pain.The best thing to do is to stay in therapy.You should confront the remaining members of your family about everything you ask the question "why" to.And I don't know if this helps but I think you are a very strong person for not giving up and I look up to that.And I know I don't even know you and I'm just a stupid teenager but I'm proud of you for not ending it all.I really respect you for that and I know it hurt's but there is a light at the end of the tunnel and I hope to meet you there soon (metaphorically).GOD BLESS YOU.I'll pray for you.

Answer 2

I have helped counsel people who have suffered as you have. I suffered through this sort of trauma myself (not by a priest, but by a relative.)

Since I am not a licensed psychologist, I cannot try to diagnose or treat you, but I can offer some advice that you may be able to use.

First, I would recommend that you find a way to bring this to the attention of a psychologist or somebody trained to deal with all of the "stuff". When such terrible things happen to young children, they seem to understand deep within their being that "this is wrong", but they make the mistake of accepting the blame for themselves. That is what I did.

Even later when they grow up some, and realize that it was the other person who was to blame, they do not know how to release the guilt, and it grows into a depression. Again, this was my path, too.

These folks are there to help you, and they are not going to make you feel "crazy". They are there to help you get to the truth of your feelings, and help you reorganize your thoughts so you can begin to feel better about yourself and about the world at large. You seem to have gotten to the truth of the facts of the situation, but I would imagine that anybody suffering this kind of trauma would need help with the feelings part. Guys, especially, have trouble with deep-rooted feelings.

From a spiritual angle, try to realize that those people that did this evil are receiving their just desserts at this very moment. In a way God has already avenged you.

The hardest thing for you to do now is to find a way to forgive these underseving souls for their sin. A spirit filled counselor, whether that be a priest, minister, or lay person, male or female, may help you come to see that to free yourself from this burden, you have to give it to God. And once you give it up, don't keep taking it back!

Lastly, from my experiences in life, know that God will not waste anything, even things like this. If you have a willing heart, God will use you to aid and assist others who are suffering.

In this case, once I began to heal, God gave me the boldness to talk about my experiences with others. He gave me the confidence to say that you, too, can not only survive, but thrive if you stay within His divine love. He is using me right now to offer you hope and comfort.

It is up to you, however, to take it and run with it. Not running away, but running TO God and all He freely offers.

You may send me a message if you want to talk further.

Answer 3

This is what I have learned from life experience. Forgiveness and understanding is the key to ridding yourself of anger, pain, and depression. These people were not sound emotionally and perpetuated a cycle that was imposed upon them in their early, most important years of development of a normal mind. Without clear thinking, these people can justify any abnormality they inflict.

A replacement for your pain is love. Love someone deeply. Love your chosen work. And love God. Love will fill the hole inside your aching heart. Then you will be able to move on with your life.

Answer 4

First of all, you really need to establish whether or not the abuse really took place. There is a tremendous amount of controversy surrounding the practice of recovered memory therapy. Do some research on it and you'll see that the consensus of therapy professionals is that it's at best unreliable and at worst totally false. There is a substantial and convincing body of evidence that suggests recovered memories are unreliable and fabricated from whole cloth. In other words, the patients invent them based on prompting from the therapist. I am not saying it never happened, but our memories can fail us, especially when we go back that far.

If you can verify this abuse by means beyond your recovered memory then perhaps there's something to it. If so, nothing will help you more than individual or group therapy.

Answer 5

I am sorry. It shouldn't have happen to you. No one can change what has been done to you. But now it' sup to you if you want to live your life thinking about bad events. Your mind can only take so much. I would strongly advice against drinking or drugs to forget about these things. I am not sure if you take this, but many times people go in this direction.
Why don't you do one thing...there are "Art of living" centers everywhere. There is one centre of Art of living in San Diego. Try that place. You would find peace of mind there and your direction of life would change too.
Art of Living address
1608 India St
San Diego, CA 92101
[phone]

You don't need a doctor. You need peace of mind. You need to be stress free.
Also try....Atma Jyoti Ashram in southern California. Here is the address Atma Jyoti Ashram
1482 Rango Way
Borrego Springs, CA 92004
email: [e-mail]

Good luck!

Answer 6

the best way to get over it is to understand that there is an ENORMOUS amount of suffering in life and you have tasted that firsthand. You can hate those who hurt you, you can feel victimized, or you can let that awaken you to how things really are. People are selfish, people are perverted, people are cruel. That's human nature. But we can transcend ordinary human nature and develop our higher nature. And if you start to do this, you will be a force for that goodness and you will raise other people up. Is there really a choice? Either you wake up and become wise or be dragged down into the hole that most people are in.

Answer 7

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Answer 8

There are local groups everywhere--the people who have been victims get together for support to help each other heal from these horrible traumas.

I am so sorry the people in your life failed to protect you and inflicted their own abuses onto you.

Look online from local group meetings:

http://lacitybeat.com/article.php?id=482&IssueNum=28

I pray that God give you the balm of Gilead to heal the hurts in your heart, mind, will, emotions--your very soul. God, I just lift this person up and ask that you surround him with your love and goodness and heal him completely. In Jesus name.

Answer 9

Stay in therapy. Remember, it's over, get on with your life. Holding on to anger against your family isn't going to help, you should try to forgive them. Their actions were probably out of ignorance. As for the priest, hopefully he's in prison now.

Answer 10

Maybe you should talk to a therapist to help you get over your bad memories. You won't be able to forget them, but you can learn to move on with your life.

I hope everything turns out okay, I feel bad for you...