My mother-in-law despises my 9 yr old daughter. She told her that she is a selfish b!@ch. What should I do?

Answer 1

Tell your mother-in-law that she is not welcome in your home or around your daughter. If that upsets your husband then maybe he needs to relook at who the most important people in his life are. Think of the effect this will have on your daughter and keep her away for her sake.

Answer 2

Your husband needs to talk with his mother about this and tell her if she can't say anything good, not to say anything at all or she isn't welcome in your home. Your MIL may have some issues with her son marrying again so try not to get into arguments with her or that will make matters worse. And keep your daughter away from her. She's supposed to be an adult and has NO right to talk to someone's child like that, no matter if it's the truth or how she feels about them.

Do not confront the woman yourself or that will only cause a ton of problems in the future and make life harder on all of you. You need to discuss this with your husband and try to come to an understanding of what is expected from her and then let him talk with her about it. If he wants you to be present that is fine but say as little as you can to keep the trouble down. It is STILL his mother and you married him so you inherited her but you don't have to have a ton of trouble unless you choose to fan the fire.

Now sit back and think about your daughter. Is she selfish and spoiled? Be completely honest and look at her the way others see her, not the way a mother sees her. Even ask some friends and don't get mad if and when they give you honest answers ~ you need to learn and be aware of how others perceive her or you can't help her.

If so, you as her mother need to make some immediate changes. Get her involved in helping others so she will learn to appreciate what she has and don't give her everything she wants. Many churches feed the homeless so take her once a month to feed them and help with the clean-up afterwards.

Make sure she is doing things around the house but only pay her for some of them ~ after all, she lives there, too, and should learn responsibility without always being paid for every breath she takes. Have a list of chores that are beyond her normal "expected" cleaning list and have a price by each chore ~ don't go overboard and pay too much. Anything worth having is worth working for and she needs to learn that. You owe her a roof over her head, food to eat and clothes on her back. Anything else is a luxury and she needs to learn how to budget and save to get the special things, plus she will learn to appreciate them so much more.

Teach her to be respectful to others even if she doesn't like them and that regardless of what others say to her, to be polite in return. Anyone who is watching will see who the jackass is and it won't be your daughter :)

Answer 3

I would confront her and find out what her problem is with a 9 year old and who is the adult here. If the real issue is that you are with her son and have a child then let her say it and not take it out on your child. She is a little to late since you are married. I would see what your husband is going to do about his wacko mother. Bottom line if she can not control her mouth keep her away from your child.

Answer 4

I cannot believe that woman. You and your husband need to have a serious talk with her. I would suggest doing it in a public place and making sure that there are people about. I think you need to confront her (in a non-violent) and tell her I heard what you said about my daughter and I would like to know why this was said. By saying what you said not only have you offend your granddaughter and me but your own son and his parenting skills.

If she starts getting hyper and all defense then your husband needs to tell her that she is no longer welcomed in your home until you both receive an apology and your daughter as well.

If she refuses and stand by her remark, then I suggest both leave, change your telephone number and move on with your lives.

The only one who is being selfish is her and she is acting like an immature rude adult who needs an awakening.

Your husband needs to stand by you and your daughter and severe ties with her until your get the apology you deserve.

Answer 5

Your daughter is fast approaching the age when self esteem is so easily damaged. If possible, keep your daughter away from the woman. And... your husband needs to grow a pair and say something to her. If this is his step daughter, he still needs to show his support.

Answer 6

You mean after you kill your mother in law? What a *****.
What kind of an adult calls a 9 year old girl a *****??

What is the world coming to?

Answer 7

this would be a great time to teach your 9 year old about life and how some ppl are nasty.
how ppl need to stomp on other ppl to make them self feel good! teach you daughter to stand up for her self.
for example tell you daughter to say:
no disrespect, but when you point at ppl you have 4 fingers point back at yourself!
she will have to learn this sooner or later! better now than get worn down later in life!!!

good luck, it is great you have a chance to teach this lesson so early in life!!!

Answer 8

You are the mother. Stand up for your daughter! Don't let ANYONE speak to her that way. Confront your mother-in-law and calmly tell her how you feel. If she begins to act harshly towards you, then take drastic measures. If you need to bring your husband into it, DO IT! He should stand up for you and your daughter. You are his wife, ans she is his daughter.

Answer 9

your mother in law isn't a very good role model, talking that way to a 9 year old...

meanwhile what did the 9 year old do?

you didn't give much information.

Answer 10

Tell your m-i-l that instead of calling your little girl a *****, she could choose to call her a brat, under her breath. While she is entiltled to her own opinion, she could keep her negativity to herself. But since your m-i-l is apparently verbal with your daughter, I would not let her around if all possible.