i really need help with my parents!!!?

Question

i have a room in an upscale health club (my aunt & uncle own half) but i have 2 pay $400 a month 4 the room!!! i have 2 buy my own sheets, etc...

my parents (divorced) won't help me w/my bills cuz they say that since i'm living at home & they buy my food, pay my car insurance (car is paid off)& school loan i should be able 2 pay my bills. I'm only working PT, going 2 massage school FT & totally stressed. my gas card is $400 & i can't pay it, i'm afraid my credit will B ruined. i only have about 2k in my trust fund, but i'm saving that 4 something special and my parents say i have 2 use it. my grandparents only give me $20 a week 4 gas. i also do about 5-7 massages a week, but i don't get very much. i'm working as hard as i can!

i just feel like all my friends get 2 go 2 college and their parents help them. my parents don't understand how hard things R. i never get to have any fun & i'm only 18. can someone please help me get through to them?

the room i'm going to have in the health club is for massages, after i graduate.

Answer 1

It is way past time for you to grow up and stop acting like you're entitled to have mommy and daddy and your grandparents take care of you.

-- 5-7 massages a week is not exactly all that wonderful. You could do more.

-- Your parents are already being generous, and if you want to continue to mooch off them, you're going to have to just gratefully accept what they are doing for you, or take care of yourself.

-- In this situation, you don't get to ask them to keep shelling out money when you have two grand in a trust that you're saving for "something special". Your "somethings special" are the standards of living you are wanting.

-- You should absolutely be able to pay the few bills they're making you pay for right now. What are you doing with your money? Even a part-time job should cover things like gas, and since you don't have other bills to deal with you have no excuse for not paying for your own gas.

-- My first thought at "I never get to have any fun", honestly, was something my five year old does when he's playing around at being a brat: "Waaaahhh!" Welcome to adulthood, baby!

I think it would be a good time for you to stop acting like an ungrateful, lazy, spoiled little frat boy and start being a grown-up. It's a shame your parents didn't teach you responsibility and the value of a dollar as a kid, because it's bringing out a really unattractive color on you now.

There's this thing called a budget, and you should really give it a try. See, you take the money that YOU bring in (not what your parents or anyone else gives or doesn't give you), and you include all your bills. Then you look at it and ONLY spend within your means. That means, if you can't afford something (like a $400 room and sheets), you either find a way to get another income (not the National Parent Bank and Trust) or you realize that it's just not gonna happen and you need to cut back on your way of living.

If it were my parents, after acting like a spoiled little brat like you're acting like right now, all financial support would be pulled and I would have no choice but to find a way to make it on my own. I would (will) do the same with my kids, if the time comes.


By the way, accepting money from your grandparents weekly, when you have no real bills or living expenses, and you have a trust fund of two thousand dollars, is beyond shameful. The majority of elderly people live on a fixed income, and it's not a whole lot. They've paid their dues. They raised your parent, and they've helped with you. They deserve to care for themselves now, without having their adult grandson taking money from them -- then complaining about it being ONLY $20 per week. Have you no shame?

Answer 2

You need to develop some pride.

You live at home, and you keep a second residence? Why should your parents pay for that? You get half your gas paid for and your groceries. You even have a trust fund! Can you not see how much better off than most young ADULTS you are? How do we spell spoiled? The first thing you need to do is live within your means. That is called responsibility, and you need to accept some of that real soon. Sell the car and buy a bicycle.

The second thing you need to do is accept that most of us pay our own way. Our parents do not have the money, nor do they have an obligation to support us forever. You seem to feel that they are supposed to carry you forever.

If I can pay my rent, buy my groceries and put myself through college all the way to a Phd, why can't you? Are you Paris Hilton's long lost twin? Frankly, if you were a little older you could be my younger brother. While his three siblings went out and made lives of their own, he spent his time whining to our Mother about how hard it was, and she gave him money. Now he is the only one with no doctorate, and still no job, ambition or future.

That is because a future is something you have to build for yourself. Grow up. Thank your family for what support they do give you, and make better spending decisions. Forget what your friends get from their parents. They are probably spoiled, as well. If you work a little, ten years from now you will be successful and they will still be spoiled.

So get started. It is hard work, but it is a lot of fun looking back and realizing you have met your challenges and dealt with them yourself. Good luck.

Answer 3

Your situation sounds really stressful. Hopefully all will go well and you will finish massage school.

Yes, you should be concerned about your gas bill. Maybe going into your trust fund is the best solution. Although you can fix bad credit, its probably better not to get into it in the first place.

Maybe you need to explore the rest of your options. Have you talked to other people who go to your massage school about carpooling? Is it possible to catch the bus or a ride from your aunt? Even a day less of driving will save you some money on gas.

Finally about your parents. I don't believe they're obligated to help you out any more than they already have. They have raised you the best they can. They raised you out of love :). Ask them for more money anyway! :P

The bottom line is you need to reduce your debt or your increasing debt. Good luck

Answer 4

You need to stop leaning on your parents. $400 a money is cheap. You should not be taking money from your grandparents. 18 is adult. Take time off school and get a better job. Pay off your bills, then go back to school. Go to a cheaper grocery store. Do they have a Aldis where you live? They are very reasonable. How many sets of sheets do ya need? Spend the trust and start building it back. I hope some of these ideas help. Good Luck.

Answer 5

Sorry- I side with your parents. You need to grow up. What you are beginning to experience is the reality of life. Honestly, you have it pretty good.

( Although I don't understand why you have a room at a health club even though you still live at home..... If I were you I would dump the room at least until after you had graduated massage school and could work full time.)

Answer 6

Sounds like you need another job. Find a second job or get a full time job. Guys usually make really good money waiting tables in nicer places. Sounds like they are doing a lot for you that other people don't do for their kids. Paying your car insurance and your 18? 20.00 a week for gas and you have ran up a 400.00 gas card? Sounds like you must have an SUV or be running nonstop. Stop looking at all your friends advantages and focus on your own! It is a very expensive world we live in. It isn't easy. You have to work harder!

Answer 7

Grow up. If you have bills, YOU need to take care of them and stop asking for help. Instead of a parttime job, get a fulltime job. Many people work and go to school all on their own including myself. Plus I have 3 kids and a home to tend to. If I, and many others can do it, so can you. Instead of being on the internet, be out finding a job that is going to pay you what you need. If you have to, spend that 2k. If you have money, then you can take care of your stuff. Your bills are more important than something special right now. Your 18 and an adult. Start acting like one.

Answer 8

use some of that trust fund to pay your gas card, and then stop using the gas card unless it's an EMERGENCY or until you have a JOB.

prehaps your parents are trying to get you to see that it's not easy to get by out there.....

hopefully you can find a way to make a little more money than you are at the present... can you find a weekend job?

i'm sure you could try asking your parents for help again, also... i know it's hard out there.. i'm struggling too, and i don't have parents.

Answer 9

If this question is serious, you need to grow up and learn to be an adult. You aren't in high school anymore. Time to ween yourself off your parents. Cut the cord, kid.

Answer 10

Only $400? Do you know how many people would call that a steal?