The boss is throwing a party. Do I have to go?

Question

My boss is having his annual party and expects me to be there. We're a small company and my job is managing the office. I scheduled a vacation over the same weekend that he's having his party and he's been giving me hell about it for two weeks. He claims that not only did I hurt his feelings but our customers expect for me to be there. I feel like parties should be optional not mandatory.

Yes, I really am going out of town for vacation w/my boyfriend, my son, and my brother. The boss was very vague about WHEN the party was so I made reservations only to find out later that the party was the same weekend. I'm not cancelling my plans but someone (in real life) said "you have to go you are the voice of the company" and now I feel like a heal. I apologized to the boss and told him next year I would attend. All is good (sort of) now.

Answer 1

It sounds as though you don't really WANT to go.

Tell him that you've already made plans for that weekend, and that you've put down a non-refundable deposit, or you've gotten non-refundable airline tickets, or whatever is appropriate to your situation.

I can't imagine an after-work-hours party being mandatory.

Ask your boss to please give everyone your regrets for not being there.

Answer 2

It sucks that the party is at the same time as your vacation. However, I think that if you can make the party, you should go. Sometimes in life, business party's, luncheons or anything of the sort are mandatory because they are incredibly effective for customer relations and workplace unity. Sometimes in order to get all employees to come (so that they can bond, become friends etc. to create a nice work atmosphere) the boss has to make the party mandatory.

I think you will be helping your career if you do go, esp since you are the manager of the office. It shows you care and are committed. However, I would also casually mention to your boss (when you return to work from your vacation) that you would appreciate it if next time he/she could schedule the party more in advance so you can plan for it, or not when employees are on vacation.

Answer 3

Tough call. He does sound like a jerk, but he's not really the issue here.

Which was scheduled first? Your holiday, or the event? It may be that that was the only time certain clients could partake. Hopefully your holiday was first. If it was the event - you need to take responsibility for it, and be there.

The overwhelming key here is to reach a compromise. Perhaps rebook the vacation, but he needs to know that he needs to bend too. Perhaps an extra paid day off or something. If you can, reschdule the holiday for the weekend following, perhaps even adding an extra day during the week (thanks boss!). If it will cost you to reschedule then, you need to make him aware of that. "I have investigated the option of rebooking but it will cost X". Make him aware of the cost, and ask him to make the call for you. if he will pay...even better

However you feel about the party may not be the case. You need to speak to your boss to understand what the expectations are for your role, eg is it expected that you be a visible part of the schmooze for the company; and how you are compensated for those ad hoc situations, eg over-time, or lieu time. This may fall into "other duties as assigned",, but if your job description doesn't have that...well...

also - be careful how much of a stink you make. Small companies can have advantages, but there are more disadvantages, because you are "on your own".

Answer 4

Some good answers here, lots of bad lies too. What's with the lies? Is that how you want your boss to treat you in return, by lying when he doesn't want to give you a raise or keep you from a "demotion"?

If you have money deposited on a trip, or on a rental, it is understood that you cannot afford to throw it away for a party. Yes, he knew of your time off...or did he?

If you planned your vacation to avoid the party, you don't need our help. If you are just sitting home that weekend to avoid the party, you don't need our help either.

Remember that as a manager, you are an example to the staff and to the company. If you are missing due to a trip, everyone (mature ones) should understand. If you just refuse to go and stay home, you are denying the fullness of your position. Your staff will certainly notice your absence.

A leader does what is right for everyone.

Answer 5

Since your vacation is already scheduled for that weekend, that should take precedence. He knew that you would be off then, and scheduled his party for that time, anyway. That is not your problem. If you were free that weekend, you should have gone - not for the duration of the party, but enough to make a polite appearance.

Tell your boss politely that it is unfortunate that he planned his party when you would be out of town. Give him your regards, and say you're sorry he feels the way he does about your absence. Don't, however, change your plans. You are in the right. If he wants you to come to his next party, he will hold it when you aren't on vacation.

Answer 6

if the date for your vacation was set first, and you had no idea that the boss was planning a party, then go on vacation and don't worry.

BUT

if the date for the party was already set, or it's an annual event that happens every March, then you should have taken that into consideration when planning your vacation.

maybe there's a way to attend the party, then leave for vacation?

Answer 7

This is what I feel - If you really CAN squeeze in sometime to attend the party, then you should go. Else, you don't have to. U had scheduled your vacation already and I don't see why you'd be blamed in this scenario for not being able to attend. If you don't go, do write him a sincere apology note.

Answer 8

just be firm but honest that as much as you want to attend u have prior committments to our vacatyion plans which includes other people. u did not mean for the two things to be the same weekend but thats how it worked out and ur choosing ur vacation plans as a priority.

Answer 9

I wouldn't think so. You've already spent money on your vacation, why should you have to cancel and lose all that money. So, tell him no. If he fire's you good, then you know he's not a boss that nice, caring, and trustworthy. Or, ask him to change the date. Could you shorten your vacation? If he really wants you there, he'll do anything to let you go.

Answer 10

If you actually have plans to be away, you should not be expected at the party. If you are not going to be away, you should attend.