The last time my friends relations came to visit they asked him to collect them from the airport - a 2 .5 hour drive from where he lives meaning a 5 hour round trip for him. I work about a half hour drive from the airport and make the 2.5 hour drive to our home town at weekends so I offered to collect the visitors. They told me their flight was in at 7.30 pm but they made a mistake and it wasn't in until almost 10 pm which meant I didnt get home until well after midnight. They never apologised for making me wait nor offered me any token of appreciation (this trip was an extra hour's drive for me).
They are coming over again this weekend and have hinted at getting a lift with me again. I'd rather get home much earlier on a Friday night to go out with my friends and besides I think they were rude so why they hell should I put myself out for them. However, if I dont collect them, my friend will have to do the 5 hr journey as busses stop at 8pm.
What would you do ?
2007-08-08 05:17:39 · 34 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Just let it be known, very simply, as soon as possible, that you have already made plans for Friday night, and sorry, but you won't be available. And furthermore, the courtesy is only available in cases of extreme need, as you have appointments to keep at the weekend.
I think you should have a chat with your friend about it, because somepeople think that one favour means a lifetime's committment! They may not be willing to travel so often if it's not that easy for them, or they will have to arrange to get an earlier flight so they can get a bus!
I got badly caught like this once when a neighbour I didn't know that well asked me for a lift to her work place, which was SORT of on the way to my job; I had to take a 15 minute detour, which made me late. She turned up on my doorstep the next morning at 7.30am, just like that, and expected the same again, except;......I was on a day off!
She shouted at me
"how am I supposed to get to work?"
So I had to put her straight, told her my work hours were erratic; that I didn't have the same starting time every day; and that I didn't mind an emergency...but that was it.
She hasn't spoken to me since!
2007-08-08 20:40:55 · answer #1 · answered by marie m 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are a friend indeed! You are sweet and considerate to pick them up and not fuss when they were mistaken about the flight.
As for the ride home, that is a different story. You really are asking what I would do. If I were going out with my friends, I would still go as planned. I am not responsible for someone else's relations to get to the airport, they are.
If it comes up again, be careful and firm. You are going out that night, so you won't be available. You don't have to give details, you just aren't going. Don't leave room to negotiate or change schedules, stick to your Friday night out.
Forget about their manners on the arrival trip. That is not why you are declining to drive. If it were too long of a ride for your friend, they can call a taxi and ride at will. IT REALLY ISN'T YOUR RESPONSIBILITY TO DRIVE THEM TO THE AIRPORT!
2007-08-08 06:56:02 · answer #2 · answered by joe_on_drums 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say, based on your past experience, that you have "another commitment" and cannot pick them up at the airport. You can also provide them all sorts of transportation information, including rental car information.
It doesn't matter if your "other commitment" is watching TV or going out. Only an incredibly rude person would ask what the commitment is, or for you to break it. In that case, just repeat the initial sentence.
I assume there must be other reasons why you have invited these friends back again. It certainly can't be due to their good manners and considerateness. :o)
2007-08-08 05:26:42 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Just say that youre busy that day and its inconvienient for you to come and pick them up. Suggest to your friend that they get a taxi if youre worried about your friend having to take a 5 hour journey to collect them.
If you keeping providing these people with a lift, they'll expect it all of the time. Stop now and keep it a one time thing.
2007-08-08 05:28:56 · answer #4 · answered by Lucy 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You can do one of a few things:
1. Confront them about how RUDE they were. I would be pretty mad and this is what I would do.
2. Ask next time if they can give money towards the cost of fuel because you're using too much petrol
3. Do like what others have said and lie, say you have another engagement, you've had alcohol, your tyre is flat etc.
2007-08-08 05:34:55 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Couldn't they get an earlier flight - and then get a taxi to you - so you don't have the extra drive to make, then its not out of your way. Also you must be a little more assertive and tell them/him - you are happy to help out once in a while but would not be available to do this regularly.
2007-08-09 00:33:57 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would talk with my friend, let him know your feelings about the entire thing and that you don't helping him out at all, that it makes you feel good to do nice things for him. That you will gladly give them a ride again, but if his family members are so rude and try to be more accurate with their times, (if they can help it) then you won't be willing to keep putting yourself through that and take the chance of interfering with the friendship you have. Friends understand.
2007-08-08 05:28:15 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hello,when you say friends think are they friends or acquaintances true friends would ask if it was inconvenient or offer gas money and worry as to put you in a comprising position, And in any case if you ask them for expenses, if you are their friend they will not think badly of you.As a acquaintance of them you could very well be used and a soft touch.You can answer this question yourselves are they a serious part of your life????????? Good Luck
2007-08-09 05:35:46 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would offer to collect them but firmly state that they must give you correct flight info and that you will not be waiting if they are not ready and they will have to arrange other transport, eg.) taxi
at the end of the day you are doing them a favour and are in no way obliged do this.
2007-08-08 10:05:41 · answer #9 · answered by Jaimee1987 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Personally, as much as it sucks that they were rude, especially since you went out of your way for them, I would still give them a ride. Not for them, but for the fact that you are doing your friend a favour. If you are close with your friend, and this will mean a lot to him/her, then do it for his/her sake and not the relatatives.
Sure you'll be home late, but you still have the rest of the weekend to go out, and karma works! I'm sure a good friend will treat you for dinner or something of the sort to say "thank you."
2007-08-08 05:27:40 · answer #10 · answered by Melissa 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋