How would you feel ?

Question

Our four year old daughter came home from home day care with make up on. It was nothing major-- some lipstick and round lipstick circles of blush on her cheeks and pink eyeshadow. I thought it was adorable. Her sitter explained that she was watching her put her makeup on and wanted to be a pretty big girl so she put a little on her. My husband was outraged! he said she doesn't need trampy makeup Hes so angry he wants her out of the center! I don't think its that big of a deal! How would you feel?

Answer 1

I would feel fine. Its not like she did her make up to make her look like a 18 year old hussy. It was done in a manner that made her look like a child.

Obviously you dont want her to wear it every day or anything, but your husband is TOTALLY over reacting.

Maybe explain to him that you understand his concern, and that you will tell the sitter than you'd rather she only painted her face to look like an animal, or wash it off well before sending her home.

My gramma used to watch us, and she'd put make up on us to make us look like tigers or something so we could go play. Other times she'd do our make up and let us play dress up. But we didnt GO anywhere looking like that.

I dont see any harm in it at all.

Answer 2

I think that he's making way too big of deal about this. She's 4 years old and experimenting with make-up is something that was fun for her. It's not like she is going to come home to you everyday wanting you to put make-up on her so she can look "trampy". I would just ask the daycare provider to no longer put make-up on your daughter because you and your husband have a different opinion on whether little girls should wear make-up or not. Tell her that you appreciate her taking care of your daughter and know she had fun when she let her do it. Tell your husband that you handled the situation and that you really don't think that the daycare provider meant to cause any trouble and that he's overreacting and let it end there.

Answer 3

Give him a day to cool down, and then mention that you will write a letter to the day care, stating that while you weren't upset by the make-up, your husband has concerns and thus you ask that they refrain from putting make-up on your daughter.

I honestly don't know how I would have reacted to my own daughter coming home with make-up when she was that age. I personally don't wear make-up, and I generally don't like to see little girls wearing it.. but I also appreciate that it is fun for the girls. of course having said that, my daughter always had a greater tendancy to take felt markers and put stripes on her face to be a tiger.

Answer 4

I wouldn't be upset, she's four, and is noticing the older the girls around her, my daughter at four would watch me get ready for a date with my husband and loved to watch me put on my makeup and jewelry, and I would always give her a little bit before we went out, or if her auntie was babysitting her they would have a girls night, where she would get her hair done, and makeup, and nails, its fun for them, they are little girls, my daughter even had her own barbie play makeup at that age, she was just taught that she could not wear it when we were going somewhere, shopping, dinner, etc. I wouldn't be upset as long as it wasn't something that happens all the time, and since your husband feels so strongly about it, instead of making someone lose their job over it, just explain to the day care worker that you would rather not have your daughter wear it.

Answer 5

I'm gonna agree with you that this isn't such a big deal but don't forget that we think as women do.Girlish!My daughter is 2 years old and she already has tried lipstick on.

I can see why your husband feels that way.Fathers tent to be more causious with these subjects...mine would do the same excact thing!Try talking to him and make him get over it.This is no reason for taking your daughter out of the center!He will calm down eventually and everything will be back as usual.

Good luck

Answer 6

makeup means nothing. when i was little i had to put makeup on for dance recitals. now im 21, and i will never wear an ounce of makeup. the path your daughter is going down is "iffy" though because the sitter should not be putting your daughter's makeup on for fun. the sitter should say something like "lets have a pretend dress up time." that way the girl knows her boundaries, and remembers she is still to little to wear makeup for real but it's okay to "pretend."

believe me, makeup isn't harmful to children. it's just the fact that your sitter isn't handling the situation properly. quickly, wash her face off and explain to the sitter what i just told you.

good luck! =D

Answer 7

My husband is the same way and our children are older - 9 to 13.

I tell my kids, AND my husband, that "playing" makeup is allowed, but it ALWAYS must be removed before going out of the house.

This way, the kids can experiment and pretend - both very positive things to do, while not going out and advertising something they shouldn't.

My husband has relented to allowing the girls to put makeup on while he's not home (he's not home much due to his job's hours), and they don't leave the home with makeup on. Now that they are older, he's now tolerant of lip gloss outside of our home - a huge step for him! It's much better if he's eased into accepting that our children are growing up, and it's my job to make sure they don't grow up too fast.

Talk to your husband and listen to his perspective. There are way too many pedophiles out there, and way too many scantily-dressed young girls. Come up with a compromise both of you can live with, then let the babysitter know the new rules. If I was the babysitter, I would be heartbroken if a child was pulled from my care without an opportunity for me to correct any problems.

Donna

Answer 8

Tell your husband to chill out. Children play all kinds of games that mimic what grownups do. It's one way they prepare for adulthood. And when most girls grow up, they wear makeup. I think your husband has issues with being the daddy of a little girl. It comes with the territory. Explain to your little girl that makeup is fun but at her age, it's only for play. And ask the sitter to make sure that it gets washed off before pickup time.

Answer 9

I think your husband is overreacting a bit. It's just a dad thing. It was only for fun so make sure your husband and daughter know this. It's not like she'll be doing it every day (make sure the sitter knows that)

Answer 10

My husband would be with your husband, and I would be with you on this one. Dads and daughters have a strange relationship. My husband prayed every night that both children would be boys, b/c, "I don't want to have to kill some skanky boy someday for messing with my daughter."! Talk to the sitter and explain that you don't want it to happen again, that your hubby was upset. You husband does need to realize that this won't be the last time this happens! I used to get into my mom's make-up all the time.