How can I tell my dad that I want to move out?

Question

The reason I want to move out is because I can't stand my dad anymore. He doesn't support me at all(emotially) and all he does is give negatives comments about me. He tells to his friends and some other relatives. It is really pissing me off. I remember once he told me that he doesn't care for me anymore and he said I could do whatever I want. He only calls my mum to complain everything about me, he even tells lies.My dad is married to another woman but they don't live together yet.
I'm just 20 years old, currently I don't have any job.But this friend I have said he could get me an appartment and would pay for the expenses. Of course I'm looking for a job.
Another thing, my dad and I can't really communicate. He gets angry when I contradict him. Lately, I haven't talked to him.

Answer 1

Hi! My advice would be not to move in with just anybody or even accept someones help. Men are unreliable and untrustworthy as your father has proven the point.

I really hope you listen to me. I was once your age and didn't have much support from my parents especially when it came to deciding on things about my future. It is unfortunate but don't just move out until you have a plan.

First, get a job or apply at a university to live in a dorm and study. Because a job out of high school isn't going to pay the rent. It is best to at least find a qualification before diving into it. Vocational school isn't so bad either. Go to beauty school or get a specialty maybe as a health care advisor or something. Go to your local work force office and talk to a consultant there. They will help you figure out what to do with your future. Also they have tests that show your areas of interest and what kind of career you would be best in. Please do this first!

Also look into foreign based jobs that are available. In some countries large corporations hire young people to live abroad and work for them. That would be a great experience for you and you also get the bonus of traveling abroad and seeing new things. You are young take advantage of it.

Once you formulate a good plan, then start taking steps to move out. You shouldn't listen to negative things. I understand that your father is being bad towards you but he is your father and you have a right to live there until you are ready to build your own life. You are the perfect age and running away with someone else won't solve anything. First find a plan, take steps and once you feel you are ready, then move. But don't talk to anyone. Do your work and stay focused on your own goals rather than allowing hurtful things to stop you.

And one last piece of advice... It is human nature for people to get sick of living with one another. Everyone wants to have their own way and own approach, so it's normal for others to get irritated if something is done differently from what they expected. Maybe your father isn't happy with his life and it has nothing to do with you. Maybe he is also saying those things because he wants for you to get out and make a future for yourself. It is hard to know what is going on in his mind but I think you should turn negatives into positives rather than wasting your time listening to stupid talk.

Good luck to you. I hope you travel somewhere fun on your journey. And just so you know, I was the one who moved in with a much older boyfriend when things weren't great at home. It was an escape and seemed the easy way out but I regret I never had the chance to go to university and one day I plan to go once my kids are in school age. Seriously think about what you want in your life.

Answer 2

be careful about relying on people like some dude who says he will pay your rent, make sure it's a no strings attached favor and he doesn't expect you to go down on him etc... that could get ugly if your not careful. Anyway the easiest way I've found to tell somebody smething is to just say it, try to be calm , don't get defensive and don't try to have some big explanation about why you wanna do this and that, You will come out the better person and feel better blah blah blah. But you need to be independently financial first

Answer 3

Your 20 all you have to do is go.If you have a friend who is willing to foot the bill and find you an appt. than just go.Make sure you pay your friend back,and get a job soon.Your father has no say,so I wouldn't worry about him.He obviously doesn't worry about you.Good luck.

Answer 4

if you are planning to move out, i think you need to have a job first... move out second.

just let your dad know you're looking for a job, and saving money to get out on your own one day as soon as you're able.

it can't be easier than that...