What Should I do? I'm I been selfish?

Question

Me & my boyfriend of 3 years have been talking about moveing into together. The thing is he lives in Victor Vill & I live in Sylmar & it's an hour drive. He wants me move over there with him but I justed started a new job & I'm really happy where I'm at & I start work way to early to be driving an hour to work. He is thinking of becoming a police offier or San Diego & he wants me to move over there with him to but it is a 2 hour drive so that's even long drive for me. I told him that I wasn't going to do that either and he got mad but he dosen't understand that I just can't quit that easy I work at a doctors office so I have paintes to take care of. We were also talking about getting marryed too but now with the moveing problem that we are having we are rethinking that now to. We're both 21 and have good jobs but we just live to far from each other to just get up and move. His work is willing to send him to San Diego but my doctor office dosen't have a office any where near there.

Answer 1

Your boyfriend wants to be a police officer in San Diego... why so specific? He could just become a police officer in your area and that way he won't uproot you from your job, and he can still pursue a career in law enforcement. I don't think you're being selfish-- he is. I'm sure that if you could move, you would and he owes you that same respect. And, does he want to pay your gas bill every month when you move 2 hrs away? Take it from someone who has a one hour communte to work everyday. Gas costs me $400 a month!! And I live in Alabama where the cost of living and the gas prices are waaaay cheaper. Tell him to think about that-- that you'll be sacrificing your career, your time, your energy (driving that much can take a lot out of you) and your MONEY!!! He should understand, and if he doesn't you might want to re-think continuing a relationship with someone who's not willing to give a little.

Answer 2

Um honey, no offense, but an hour or two a drive is not a big deal and really shouldnt put any strain on your relationship. Its annoying, but its still possible to see each other every day and remember every relationship is about compromise.

Now if you lived six hours of each other and could only see each other on the weekens, I could see the strain beginning, and dont forget about everyone else who has long distance relationships and could be hours of apart across the world.

As a police officer, he has limits. He can only live within a certain zone. if he doesnt become a police officer, then you two should meet half way. Compromise and communicate. You never know. You might warm up to a new idea, or even a new career.... you are both growing up together. take this as a new opportunity rather than limiting one.

Answer 3

Between the two, your boy friend has better flexibility to choose his career. Since you are only limited to where you live, I should think that your boy friend should choose to be a law enforcement officer in your area. Face it, it's not like he's going to get turned down. There's shortage of law enforcement across the nation.

Answer 4

It sounds as if neither of you are willing to compromise. Both of your careers are far apart...however people travel on a regular for work so I'm thinking maybe someone is using that as an excuse....has he considered moving to your place?

If you're not ready, then you're not ready. You shouldn't be pressured.

Answer 5

wow, that is a tough one. no you arent being selfish. i would dig deep in my heart and decide whether or not the man is worth it. when it comes to relationships everyone has to make sacrifices. each person will have to make a sacrifice to make things work. if not, then you shouldnt be together.