My parents and my bf's parents had alot of disagreements. My mum and his dad really can't stand each other. She thinks his dad is cheap and he thinks she's a phony.
My bf proposed, according to my culture our parents interfere to the max,sadly.
Now one day before our engagement my mum had a fight with his parents. None of them can stand the other.
Our engagement was 4 days before he travelled abroad fo his master degree. Now he's abroad. Only my dad is on my side now.
What should I do to fix things between both sides? He's coming in december.
2007-08-08 01:42:47 · 9 answers · asked by she 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
well due to the fight the engagement was called off. My mum and his parents decided its over.
2007-08-08 01:50:05 · update #1
Alot of people said I should give it time. They said months until parents forget the problem that happened. But months!!! that's a v long time.
2007-08-14 22:07:22 · update #2
Talk to your mom about your boyfriend. Tell her about all the great things he is, and how great he treats you. Express concern that you'll never find another guy as great as he is, and that you would never forgive her if she let her disagreements with his father take precedence over your happiness.
If you can, talk to his father. Tell him that you respect him, and that you would love to be welcomed into his family. Tell him how much you love his son, and that you would be heartbroken if your parents' disagreements kept you from having a happy marriage.
Generally, see if you can mediate. Try to make them look past their own perceptions of one another and instead look at how they're letting it affect their children. If you mediating isn't an option, see if you can talk your dad into mediating instead, but you need to get civil conversation going, and you need to get your parents and his to stomach one another... or you're not going to be happy.
2007-08-13 08:37:15 · answer #1 · answered by customfordgirl79 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, on the one hand, the culture thing is and will clash. Your parents and his see this coming. You will probably never fix the RIF. Until hopefully years on down the road when you both prove your love for eachother to both sides of the families. By staying together in peace and harmony, caring for each other and sharing with each other. Good luck. Keep inviting both sides at the same time over for lunch. Get to know everyone better.
2007-08-08 01:52:08 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you honestly love each other? Do you no matter what happens will continue to love protect each other? Are you willing to stand the stench that both of you will give in this relationship due to occasional uncontrollable flatulence? Are you willing to say the hell with you for the Man you love? Is he willingly to do the same? If you are old and fat and he is bald and wrinkled will both of you still care for each other even if one of you already doing "poop" on bed? If in spite of all the circumstances and the hindrances that deem so insurmountable, mindbogglingly disagreements, with all realities and heads up you can still say to the world ....I LOVE THIS PERSON AND THE HELL WITH YOU GUYS!
Then hindrances would not matter you will be able to marry the guy and both of you will be happy not for anyone but for yourself for each other and for your would be family. Elope and be happy, receive the graces that the universe have in store for both of you. In spite of the impermanence of life you have to feel alive. If the weight of your love for each other is greater than the force that keeps you apart then you will carry on. Because you have now become a woman and the boy became a man.
2007-08-15 17:41:06 · answer #3 · answered by chinaman 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This exact thing happened to me! It is awful but going by experience, your relationship will work based on one thing - that one thing is have you got control of your own life, and can you do it alone without your parents? Sadly, my BF decided that his parents were his future and he hid behind the confines of his family home. If that is what is happening for you, you need to leave, as there will only be tension in the future. Deciding to get married means that you are each others future, each others new family. YOu both need to talk to your famililies and tell them all to butt out of your relationship and let you both live the life that you want. You are both adults now and need to make your own choices, and you need to stick to those choices that you make. Is the relationship strong enough to survive this? If not, find somebody who will make you the centre of his universe.
2007-08-15 23:04:47 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trust me once you become a family everything is going to be alright. I suggest that you all sit down as a family and discuss your differences and put the fire out. Also don't be afraid to step up and tell everyone how you feel because if they see that you and your husband to be is unhappy about their reactions towards each other then they will feel bad and put everything to an end because I am sure that your parents want the best for you and him
2007-08-08 01:51:21 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
as hard as it is I don't think you can fix things. All you can do is remember that it is your bf and you in a relationship, not your parents and they just have to be civil to each toher. talk to your mum tell her that it hurts you with all of the disagrments and ask if she can try to be civil to his folks and get your bf to do the same with hsi folks.
Good luck
2007-08-08 01:47:30 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Start by separating two pitbulls in a fight. If you can accomplish this and live, you might stand a chance between parents. The Rat
2016-05-17 04:51:48 · answer #7 · answered by allen 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't. They are entitled to their own opinions and feelings. All you can do is pray for them and move on with your fiance. Get your own place with him. They will just have to get over it and learn to act civilized, especially if later on down the road you and your soon to be hubby have children. Either they can act right and be civil or they don't have to come around. Be strong. It is all about you and your future Hubby. -Good luck.
2007-08-15 21:10:06 · answer #8 · answered by †Evonne† 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you cannot fix things. that will soley depend on your Mom and the bfs parents
2007-08-15 22:15:02 · answer #9 · answered by cheri h 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋