Could I have handled this incident with my cat in a better fashion?

Question

I was up around 4:30 in the morning the other day; so was one of my cats. She wanted nothing more than to go outside.

"No," I said, "we don't have 'out' while it's still dark, honey."

She complained about this for a bit, and went off while I mucked about in the kitchen.

Not ten minutes later, my husband was awake and downstairs, with the cat. Apparently she'd gone off to complain to him about the whole in/out situation, waking him up and everything...

We eventually figured out that I'd promised another trip outside the night before, and promised it "tomorrow," with no qualifiers as to when "tomorrow" started. Hence her complaint to her Dad.

On one hand, she is aware that she's not to be out when it's dark; on the other, it was, technically, "tomorrow." We are committed to attachment-cat-parenting, so nobody's mad at her for waking up her father, but -- there is some residual tension about the whole misunderstanding.

Who was in the wrong here?

We live in a safe rural area; she and her brother are allowed brief trips out, only during the day, only while Mummy or Daddy are home and in earshot...

We talked about it extensively as a family when we moved to the country, and decided 'outs' were acceptable under those conditions -- and that they would stop and we'd re-visit the issue if they ever disregarded curfews &c...

Answer 1

Hm, just an opinion, but I wouldn't have promised her that she could go ouside at all....
Making a promise means you have to stick to it, but so many dangers are lurking for her outside; traffic, contagious diseases, cat-haters, poison, thieves, dogs and other agressive cats......
Maybe you could set up an outside enclosed pen for her which she can enter at will through a cat door?
She'll be safe and you won't ever have to disagree on when tomorrow starts anymore :)

Answer 2

First of all, your cat can learn very easily, but how they learn is through a series of repetition sounds. They do not understand human language. When you give a command to a cat, it will learn the sound waves of the command so that when you repeat the command the say way every time, it starts to remember that sound. That is why you use simple words and single ones for training. They do not understand lengthy sentence structure or a conversation. What they are picking up on is your tone of voice with them. You can take any naughty word and say it loving and they will think that you love them if they sence you are talking to them and that love is meant for them. Or, you can say any nice word in a mean way and they will cower or run. T hey go by body language, tone and eye contact when dealing with humans. Also remember that you are not a human to them, you are the 'leader of the pack'. You are just a strange looking cat that is bigger than they are and with all the authority 'so far' so they are giving you credence. They will constantly try to take over your position. That is a normal response for them to do. It's called 'territorial rights' and they want to be solely in charge of their territory. Your cat probably only picks up one word in your whole communication session with you and that word in this instance is 'outside'. Because cats are generally nocturnal and probably has learned that it can go out and potty outside as well, it associated the two at the same time. Try sticking it in the liter the next time it wants to go out at night. However, my suggestion is to keep it inside. Proven fact: indoor cats live longer than outdoor ones and not because of the possibility of getting killed by a car or other animal. It is the stress level that makes the difference. I like the answer you got about making an enclosure pen for your cat. In fact, you can purchase whole cat runs that hook up to an indoor/outdoor cat door. They are a square tunnel like enclosure made of strong wire with good size square holes so that the grass or cement can be felt by the cat. You can get them in extention sizes so that it can be any length you wish. Cats like to investigate and since 'no on owns a cat' because they are pretty independent in themselves, you could find it gone someday and never return. It only takes once for that to happen.

Answer 3

I'm sorry, but I think you were, you could have explained to her that you meant tomorrow during daylight hours, it WAS 'tomorrow' when she wanted out. So, you should explain better next time to avoid further confusion. Sunnyside is right about the life span shortened issue, on average, an indoor only cat lives to be 15 or so, an indoor/outdoor may be around 10 years and an outdoor only cat can only expect to live 2-5 years.

Answer 4

When getting up in the middle of the night with any child it is a good idea to close the bedroom door so as not to wake Daddy by accident. A few compensatory kitty treats would not be inappropriate either...

Answer 5

why the hell did you promice to let her outside at all, don't you love her and want what's best for her and to keep her safe, happy and healthy. going outside will decrease her life, she can get disease, get hit by cars, get stolen, get attacked by other animals get tortured by stupid kids or any other horriable things to think of.

explain to her you are going to keep her inside because you love her (if that's true, not sure right now) and you want her to have a long happy life.

Answer 6

This is a taugh one, you should definitely attend together with cat and father some counceling sessions so that no more misunderstandings occur.

Answer 7

Huh?

Answer 8

Your cat has mastered the art of MANIPULATION!