My boyfriend and I have been together 9 months. He says he is not in love with me but is "falling in love with me so much." This has confused the life out of me, needless to say, as it seems a bit soap opera to me and am scared he just won't love me - but his actions indicate otherwise. Whenever I go away he is like a lost puppy. This weekend I am going to the US for 11 days - the longest we have ever been apart - and he keeps saying how lost he will be without me, and has gone a bit quiet this week. I went away for three days a couple of mths ago and he was miserable. I will miss him very much but I think the break will do us good and may help him sort out how he feels about me. His lack of "in love" for me has hurt me deeply ( especially because he admitted he has fell more quickly in the pas and left me very worried - his last two relationships which he gave his heart to ended badly and I am sympathetic to this, but am concerned about the outcome of this relationship on my heart.
2007-08-07 22:50:48 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
he wants sex
2007-08-07 22:55:50 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He loves you, hes just not ready to admit it. He thinks that somehow by not admitting it, if you break his heart it won't hurt as bad. Whereas that is not true, its what he thinks, you can't change him, give it time and he'll admit he loves you. The reason he says he fell much faster in the past is sort of a.. "I don't want to make the same mistake again.." type of thing... the way hes doing it, it doesn't mean or accomplish anything. You've got 3 options, 2 are good and 1 is bad. Honestly this is an easy choice.
1: Wait it out, he'll come around soon.
2: Tell him how you feel, tell him you love him and would never hurt him and that you want him to love you.
3: dump him, I see no real reason to do this, but its always an option if you're being hurt.
2007-08-08 05:59:29 · answer #2 · answered by Wafflecopter 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
from personal experience, having time apart from each other is a good way to nurture the r'ship. Spending too much time together tends to give both sides a sense of habit, and can be mistaken for commitment or love. While you're apart, you'll have time to enjoy your own space and think about what lies ahead (and if he's in your future).
actually, I feel that it's good that he's decided to take this cautiously. Falling head first into love tends to throw logic into the wind, and instead, acting on instinct. Take it slowly babe, and the passion may last longer than u expect.
2007-08-08 06:00:28 · answer #3 · answered by OrdiNance 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he loves you, maybe he's not saying it out loud because he's still cut from his last relationships. Every time you get into a relationship you put your heart out on the line. Love is always a risk you take, who knows what will come of it in the end.
2007-08-08 05:57:51 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Baby you are too nice for him.You don't understand him very well which I noticed in the para that u wrote.You wrote that he never said he love you but his action indicates it.No baby no that action doesn't indicates love but lust.You asked him last time whether he loves you.If he still avoid you to say, then give him ultimatem or tell him if he does not tell then you are going to leave him.Please baby don't waste your time with the person who loves your body and not your heart.
xxoxx
2007-08-08 06:08:16 · answer #5 · answered by LIFE ROCKS xxoxx 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well a guys first love is always fast, then he bult up a wall, and it sounds like somone got past that again and hurt him and POW more walls. if you love him alot, you will stick it out because he is a little bit "damaged goods" an doesnt want you to hurt him like the other ones...dont let it hurt you of his lack of "in love" because from the sound of it he does love you as much as you love him, exp being a lost little puppy without you.
and if he is lost without you when you are gone then good! at least when you will come back, you have open and welcome arms to get sweeped up in.
2007-08-08 05:58:53 · answer #6 · answered by mcheshster27 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is just afraid of getting hurt again. He is probably already in love with you, but is afraid to admit it to himself much less to you.
2007-08-08 05:57:57 · answer #7 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋