How can two people be a couple when they can hardly speak the same language?

Question

I am referring to expats or those who go on vacation to Thailand and end up falling for or even marrying someone Thai. I am guessing the one who is Thai is the lady and not the guy. Is there even a case of a Thai guy with a foreign lady?

Anyways, how can they be together if they can hardly communicate? I suppose one or the other will know simple phrases, but it must still be rather difficult. I am of mixed ancestry, one of them being Lao. I can understand Lao, and can speak it....in a decent manner (imagine a newly arrived Hong Kong person in the U.S....they can speak English, but it's broken) Even though I could communicate in Laos, and most of Thailand, I found it very frustrating and often referred back to English.....

Answer 1

try it you may like it. again i think your worried to much about the little things.

Answer 2

Great Question - When I first met my wife, she had near no English and my Thai was basic. We dated for 3 years and used dictionaries - my thai is now decent, she has some English. Communication has not been a problem - a challenge, yes. Sometimes it has been an experience, and defintiely an oppt to learn - but as you spend time with someone, have patience to try and understand the cultural differences and judge someone by their actions, their kindness and most importantly intent - the learning and participating in each others cultures can be a broadening part of it all. I guess we have been together abt 7 yrs now and each yr the understanding grows stronger as my connections to her family increase as well. I also do not have expectations that my wife or any one person can satisfy all my needs at all times. My need for deep intellectual conversation is probably best taken care of with friends.

When I had an intelligent wife in the USA, I found that our intellectual conversations, even on subjects we agreed upon, narrowed down to one small point of disagreement and then blossomed out into a big fight from there. My Thai wife, as I, does not like confrontation and our daily life is very pleasant together.

ps - there are times my ex in the US got so emotional that I had no idea what the heck she was saying and no dictioary could help with that one..

Best of luck to you!!

And yes - I do know an american lady married to a Thai man - more tan 20 yrs now

Answer 3

People can communicate in many ways. If two people really are in love with one another, I'm sure they will be very patient to communicate.

I agree that a majority of the couples seen around and about in Thailand are foreign men with Thai ladies; but it does happen the other way around.

We had a client once from California, she's a painter and she married a Thai guy, from the South, he's a fisherman. Communication wasn't easy at first, but they were patient, she learned Thai, and he took on English.

I believe they are now together for 10 years (+), they travel back and forth from the States and Thailand, but most of the time, they live in Thailand (south.)

Answer 4

Don't assume that all Thai women can't speak english well... I am Thai and my husband was an ex-pat in Thailand... He can't speak Thai but I never have problems expressing myself or how I feel in english...

It is not only the uneducated Thai women who always fall in love with the ex-pats and I think it is pretty much the same everywhere not only in THAILAND when english speaking people have an access to foreign countries ... They fall in love and get married without being able to speak other languages except for ENGLISH!

Look at Europeans ... Not that they all can speak english better than some Thai people, They still get married with American and British men and have a good married life!

Answer 5

They speak the language of love. If something is important enough, they will locate the resources to translate reasonably well for one another. Good relationships take hard work. I suspect that in a strong Farang/Thai relationship, both parties will endeavour to do the best they can to learn some of the other's language. As for male/female relationships where the couple speak the same language, how many times does communication break down? A Thai with a foreigner may, in fact, lead to less arguing (it's too much work). As for the Farang woman with the Thai man, yes I know of such cases and they are going strong...one in fact for over forty years of marriage now, with children and grandchildren. Stereotypes will only get you so far.

Answer 6

I don't see why not. I think sometimes its better this way. Well as far as my relationship with a Thai girl goes anyway. I can speak a little thai she can speak ok english. We do have indepth conversations, sometimes we don't understand each other but this is good because normally they are drunk indepth conversations. When I wake the next day i'm glad she didn't understand in the first place. Vice versa probably.
I think if you really like each other and spend alot of time with each other you get to understand them more.
I think as well I'm Irish so its even harder for Thai's to understand what I'm sayin sometimes but i have found that most Thai I speak to love our quirky sayings and phrases and pick up on them very fast. I know a couple of people who work in my local bar who just love to greet me with the saying "bout ye" infact the Thai impression of a n.ireland accent is very funny. I find it amusing they find it even more amusing

Answer 7

I wonder.

I'm a Thai guy and been with western lady. There're many cases of Thai marrying Western women; that includes the present Thai foreign minister; Nit Pibulsongkram. His wife is an American name Pat. Your knowledge on Thai people is limited.

Answer 8

I'm asking myself the same almost every day when I see your question. For some it seems to work and some might be just fine not to communicate too much. The expats normally go out with their buddies and the ladies stay within their thai community.

Answer 9

Sometimes, the affair of the heart can overcome barriers, even language barrier. It will take time but eventual communication will go smooth when both adapt to each other's language. The initial part can be frustrating and rocky and even hilarious with misunderstood words and usage.

Love will prevail though. So, this must be it.

Answer 10

Simple enuf solution is try learning each other language untill then action speaks louder then words isn't that adage the right and significant one??? when u fall in love it's ur body language and ur desire which provokes u to get connected with whoever u feel attracted to...thats wat really initiates a interest which may culminate into a strong feeling for that person.

It's quite natural to go back to ur own language lol infact that happens in day to day life with strangers too but when u know the opposite person with whom ur in love with will definately understand wat u want to say for it's plain love and attraction which makes things possible and almost easy to accomplish. The strange ness of the situation will initself provoke u and the girl to start learning each others language so that both of u get comfy communicating ur feelings...till then get busy with ur bodiessssss :D lol ;-)

Answer 11

That's obvious--they don't have a relationship. They have an 'arrangement' of sorts that doesn't include verbal communication.

It's like, the ultimate put-down; a guy gets a woman he doesn't have to talk to at all! Can you imagine how easily he gets away with anything he might decide to pull off?

This type of 'arrangement' is even more convenient than marrying someone less than half one's age--no relationship skills at all needed!

As to the lady romantically communicating with eyes, etc.--how does that work if he stays out late, doesn't pay his share of the bills, etc.?