Am i right about my husband??

Question

He's living abroad, can't afford to call more than once a week. So the only way is e-mail. Yesterday, I wrote something that made him mad and he said he won't write me for a week, until he did what I was mad about. If I haven't always thought he never liked writing me, it wouldn't have been a biggie. Now, I feel like he was like "YES, I finally got a way to get rid of her", and it hurts. It's like deep down he doesn't really like the person that i am. Because I love him & his e-mails are the bright spot of the day. I don't expect him to feel everything that I feel. I'm not that unrealistic. However, you'd expect people to feel things if they love you, right? Like want to know about you and how you are feeling every morning? If they don't, it's a sign of trouble, innit?!! Or is this a guys' thing & am I reading too much into it OR have I been right all along, that he never loved me, & married me because I was the only one he could??

Answer 1

You might be looking into this one a little too deep. My husband lived 7hrs away & we saw each other at least every 2 months, but the time in between, we would talk on the phone or email but I could tell he was getting bored with it. I started to ask him online when I was on and play games with me because I figured it entertained him more than just emailing or even talking on the phone with each other. We played quite a bit of pool and I let him win a lot more than he actually won on his own, I think it made him feel manly! I think guys generally get tired of talking and conversing a lot quicker than females. Maybe you two could play a couple games together online, or something else entertaining for him.

Answer 2

You didn't say for how long you have been married, how long your husband has been away. I think that your husband is acting in a childish way punishing you that way for making him mad. I don't know what you said to him, but I think he's acting wrongly. He knows how much you love his e-mails and he's taking them away from you, just to punish you. I understand how much you feel hurt by his conduct, and also your second thoughts about him,your doubts about his feelings for you. Why don't you write him an e-mail expressing your feelings, all what you say here? expect no response, but you'll lose nothing. Don't accuse him, that will not work out, only tell him how you feel. Distance can be a heavy burden on a relationship, I don't know if your husband loves you, but I imagine he does. What did you tell him that made him feel so mad at you? apologize to him, if you feel so, but tell him that if he uses and will continue using the internet, the only way you both have to connect with each other, as a tool to punish you, this will have serious consequences on your relationship, tell him that an honest dialogue is the only way to keep your relationship alive, and internet is the only way you have.I see you're anxious, and when one is anxious one has the tendency to exagerate everything. Talk, talk, write an e-mail to him, and be careful about outbursts via e-mail: they will be in writing there forever.
Good luck !

Answer 3

I would recommend switching your telephone service over to Vonage. With Vonage, if he's living in Europe somewhere (and several other countries outside the continent), you can establish a "virtual" phone number in that country so it is charged to him as a local call when he dials that number. The number is automatically forwarded to your house and you avoid paying international rates.

My mother was living in Rome this last winter and spring, so we had a virtual phone in Rome for $10 extra a month. Mom could call anytime she wanted, was a free local call for her and I didn't pay any extra, no matter how long we talked.

You guys need to talk. It sounds like, perhaps, he's misinterpreting the tone of your e-mails (sarcasm, for example, never translates well. Tone is everything.). If you can't be in the same geographic location, make it as easy as possible to communicate. Work this out.

Answer 4

You should e-mail him and tell him exactly how you feel. I'm in a long distance relationship too, and have done the overseas thing. Its tough, but you both have to commit to communicating exactly how you're feeling, especially considering this situation affected you so much. Also, you should tell him to dowload skype... its a telephone service and you can talk for free via internet. And, get a webcam.. it makes a huge difference being able to see the one you love. I know from experience.

Answer 5

You sound too needy to be in a long distance relationship. There is something more going on. Your insecurity may be frustrating him. You need to have a talk with him about the situation. If you have a good relationship, you will be able to work this out.

Answer 6

It's the silent treatment..... overseas style. We dont know the whole story to tell you why he could be doing it. I wouldnt read into it too much but try emailing him with all of your feelings and see how he reacts. Long distance relationships can make people more insecure than if they were with their partner all the time.

Answer 7

Well, I guess that when someone truely cares, he would try to find any way to express that he does. If he doesn't, this means that he is not interested. When my husband was away for about a year, he used to call me almost daily and send me messages and ask me to chat with him when we both were free. I can tell that he cares more than I do.

Answer 8

The golden rule my dear is to lower the expectations on ur side , take up a job n cultivate new hobbies.

Answer 9

Aww, this seems like it stems wayy before the email incident..I'm sorry you feel this wayy, you need to either accept that he is this way or do something about it..make changes in your life..do what it takes to be happy..life is too long to be lived feeling the way you do, veryone deserves happiness...

Answer 10

sweetheart you are really hurting deep inside, men are difficult to understand. i think that you should talk to him about the way he's treating you. you are a married couple and you dont deserve the way he's treating you. anyhow remember that whatever the outcome God will always be on your side to se you through and you are stronger and braver than you think you are.