im still a virgin and we've been together exactly 6 minths now and i promised him that in like 4 - 5 months i would have sex with him and he agreed that he would wait....but hes gettin really anxious and i can tell...... but now i think i've changed my mind...(???) and i dont know how to talk to him about it.... HOW DO I TELL HIM? im so scared that he'll get mad at me.... i wanna tell him 2morrow but its our 6th month anniversary...would that be a bad time???
2007-08-07 21:23:20 · 34 answers · asked by ***_____*** 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Hey sweetie! I did the same exact thing. I had told my boyfriend that I would be ready to have sex on Valentine's Day, after being together for almost a year, but around January, I started having second thoughts. I was really worried about what he would think, but I just sat him down and told him the truth. He wasn't angry at all; in fact, he was very supportive and said he wouldn't want to make love until we were both ready.
In your case, if your boyfriend truly loves you, he'll respect your wishes. Don't ever let someone talk you into losing your virginity; that's a precious gift, and you get to choose when to give it away.
Just sit him down and tell him very honestly that while you love him and thought you would be ready, you just don't feel the time is right. He may get a little mad at you, but hopefully, it will pass. If he's furious with you and tries to pressure you into doing it anyway, he doesn't respect you and doesn't deserve you.
I would wait a few days after the six-month anniversary so you don't put a damper on that special night, but try not to wait too long in bringing it up. I think you'll feel a lot better once this is off of your chest. I know I did! Good luck!
2007-08-07 21:39:53 · answer #1 · answered by Kathryn 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should not have to promise your bf that you would have sex with him. Sex is important in your relationship, and timing is key. If you are not ready and do something out of pressure then the rest of your relationship will follow the same pattern.
If you are not ready for sex then you will probably not enjoy it and it will affect the rest of your sexual life (other sexual relationships)
You should tell as soon as possible (maybe a few days after your anniversary) A good bf, worthy of you will understand and only care that you are happy and comfortable.
If he gets mad then i think you would know that you shouldn't go ahead with it. But remain calm. Guys need time to think about things. You shouldn't be afraid of your bf, and his reactions.
You changed your mind and there was a reason for that, maybe you need to think about why you changed your mind. Trust your instincts. Good luck.
2007-08-08 03:55:24 · answer #2 · answered by queenc 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should never make promises that you can't keep. If you wait till that day and back out on him then you will be branded a prick tease. It's best to let him know now that you have changed your mind. If you lose him he doesn't love you. If he stays he might be a keeper. Always remember never make empty promises. Guys remember things like that. It's stuff like this that makes guys feel like women have no feelings. Sorry' Just the truth.
2007-08-07 21:49:29 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Best to be honest now than later. Just tell him, you really care for him and all but you are just not ready @ this time. If he really cares for you, he may be disappointed but he'll realize you are worth the wait. If he acts out...and starts acting silly..then you'll know why he's sticking around. And you should be happy you found out..But honesty is the only way..And you know..you shouldn't promise things of this nature..Do it when you're ready & if you happen to be ready on your b day..then things should happen naturally..no need to preplan. If he agreed to wait only for this reason, that is not right..I wish you the best of luck!
2007-08-07 21:32:20 · answer #4 · answered by Unique Soul 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him that you need more time cause you are not mentally ready. Dont bother to give in to his coaxing or sweeth talk. If he is willing to wait or respect your decision, not a bad guy for you. =)
Sex is something both party must be willingly to enjoy it throughly. No point forcing you to do something you wont like, just tell him everything you feel from your heart. Hopefully he will understand you. If he flare up, guess you can just brk off with him to find a better guy who is more willing to respect you and understand you more. =D
2007-08-07 21:33:12 · answer #5 · answered by 2nd-hamsterlord 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1. Never make promises about such MAJOR stuff eva eva!!
2. U can change ur mind whenever u like.Its your virginity, keep it as long as u want.
3. Do not let him pressure u or guilt u into having sex if ur not 100% sure
4. If he gets mad hes an insenstitive jerk and u deserve better!
2007-08-07 21:32:20 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
no its never a bad time to turn you back on something like that.
if he really cares about you and loves you he will understand and wait longer,
look if he gets angry he is just horny and wants to do it already regardless of your feelings.
being a virgin is a beautiful thing. and think about what you are about to do...will you regret it?
is he the one?
i mean you are still young and have the right to wait.
look here is a songs that might help you
a lot of people don't like her but these songs are so meaningful to something like that
This song is about a girl not giving into the pressures of a guy
http://youtube.com/watch?v=aStJVG_LSzE
listen to the lyrics carefully and hopefully you make a good choice FOR YOU ONLY!
2007-08-07 21:30:44 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow. Um, maybe you shouldn't make a promise that you can't keep. And, also...you don't say that you'll have sex with that certain person in some amount of time. It don't work that way. You just do it when the time feels right, don't matter where you are (if you're drunk...if you're not, the rules are different ; but depends on how drunk you are, hmm...).
2007-08-07 21:29:11 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Whoa, you've got to be kidding, you know that the second your birthday came up he knew you lied to string him on. Dont even think of saying that that wasn't your intentions. Start of by apologizing for your actions and tell him that you didn't mean to string him on like that (even if you did) You are really lucky that he hasn't already dumped you, which means that he must really care about you. People that care about people this deeply do not like to be strung on by them so put out or get out. Another good strategy would be to tell him that your not ready for sex yet but give him oral sex instead (i hope you haven't already given the 1st oral card up because this is your only hope)
It is an unwritten law that the 6 month anniversary is a breakup day if nobody at least gets a bl0w job, and im shocked to see that there are women on earth that don't understand this.
2007-08-07 21:34:26 · answer #9 · answered by George W. Bush 2 · 0⤊ 3⤋
Well, it was your mistake in the first place to promise him something as sacred as that. Sex isn't a game, there are emotions and feelings attached to the other person also, not just yourself. No one likes to be played with. Tell him now, but be prepared for him to be pissed.. you were the one to get yourself in this situation not him.
2007-08-09 11:30:40 · answer #10 · answered by N 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋