Does Forgivness always mean forgeting?

Question

i do not know if it is just a gift from god but i always find it easy to forgive, loads of people have hurt me in past including a close friend who i lent 200 quids to and she disappeared, an aunt who mentally and physically abused me for 4years and an ex boyfriend who told me he wanted to go and sleep with loadsa woman to help him decide if he wants to be with me forever...needles to say i dumped him before you could say Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious. anyway all those people are forgiven, if i can expect god to forgive me then i should also be forging toward other people. the thing is however i still remember their wring doing even tho i have forgiven them. is this normal?

Answer 1

Carolina, you are a rare blessed gem. To forgive is so divine, and for someone to forgive as generously as you, that is a real find!

It is normal to remember, because how can the mind forget something? It's impossible to force forgetting something. If you try to forget, that's exactly what you wind up thinking about a lot anyway, lol.

"Don't think about pink elephants!" Now what are you thinking about? Exactly, pink elephants!

Forgiving doesn't require forgetting. Forgiving just says that you release the person from being in the doghouse. Doesn't mean you have to trust the person like you once did, but it means you've said okay, I move on.

You remember, and this is normal.

Answer 2

No. Forgiving NEVER means forgetting. That's an old wives tale! If this were true, then the USA would've always let Japan have control of it's homeland after WW2! But, it didn't happen that way! Japan only got control back, about 10 years ago.
Forgiving is releasing the other person from your chains so that your load is a whole lot lighter.
Forgiving is accepting that it happened, and not letting it control you.

Forgiving is real love. I heard it said once, "Forgiving doesn't make the other person right, it releases you from the burden."

And if you don't forgive. Remember this.
I heard a Christian psychologist say once that 90% of all mental illness comes from UNforgiveness. Don't be enslaved by any one action anybody had done to you. Let it go.

Answer 3

I don't know what the official proper strict Christian answer is, but in my opinion, NO! I used to forgive and forget all the time. All it did was make me a doormat.

I think God wants us to forgive because we're all human and make mistakes, but I don't believe that's synonymous with allowing ourselves to be victimized repeatedly.

I think you can forgive to keep mentally healthy, and to not waste a lot of spiritual energy on the negative hate towards someone, and even because it might be the right thing to do...

...but I think you should look at it with both eyes open. Feel the feelings, experience the hurt, go thru all the emotions, allow yourself to let the blame rest on the offender...and forgive only after all that. With important things.

Small day-to-day annoyances...I usually forgive and forget for my own sanity!

Answer 4

No. Forgiving someone of a sin upon you is just that, removing guilt and accepting the fact that the person is sorry they did what they did. But, neither person should forget. To forget to to throw away lessons learned. Not forgetting doesn't give you the right to throw it up in someone's face whenever the mood strikes. When you forgive, it's the last time it should be discussed. But, never forget.

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.

Answer 5

I personally feel that it is normal .... As human, we are blessed with a mind to think and a forgiving heart... Although, we do forgive other people for their wrongdoings, it doesn't mean that their wrong deed will be instantly erased from our memory... Like the saying goes " Time will heal all wounds".. Just try not to put too much thought into those things and fill your memories with beautiful ones so that it will overshadow those bad ones....Have a hug from me...........You deserved it...

Answer 6

God can forget. Unfortunatly we won't forget. What we are suppose to be able to do in forgiving is not remind the person of what they did when they make us mad. We are not supposed to hold what happened against them. We won't forget. What we have to try and do is move on from it. Leve t he pain of what happened behind. It is not easy. I am there right now. When I see this person my brain flashes the memory of what happened. I don't give it any credence. I ignore it. I don't want to hold a grudge or rub it in to this person they screwed up. They know they did. Our brains were created with a memory. What we do is learn from what happened to prevent ourselves from getting into another situation like what happened again.

Answer 7

I think it's fairly normal. One can forgive, but forgetting is extremely difficult. For instance, I was abused terribly when I was growing up. I'll never forget it. I just can't forget the broken bones, humiliation and pain. But God calls upon me to forgive, and I must, although it's painful for me even today to think back on those events. Still, I have to be willing to let them go eventually and get on with my life.

Answer 8

I never forget but I try to forgive...i have an ex wife Im having problems with the forgive part right now

Answer 9

Here's my take on the act of forgiveness:

#1 It's a conscous choice of the will to forgive.

#2 Forgiving is not forgetting. It is telling God that you are giving that person to Him to judge and you're stepping out of the way to allow that process to happen. Very simply, it is deciding that whatever God deems their judgement is--you will accept it because you trust God to deal with these persons.

#3 Satan loves to bring to mind all the negative and bad things. We need to take control of the thoughts in our mind. Focus on the Word of God. You can also consciously choose to "forget"--in other words--do not DWELL on the past hurts. Too many people want to nurture their wounds rather than have them healed by God. Have you asked God to heal your emotions in regards to these situations now that you've forgiven them?

#4 Feelings are a part of the flesh. When we operate in the Spirit and decide to forgive someone that is an act of faith. The feelings of letting this go will follow if we are willing to crucify the flesh--tell your feelings that you are walking by faith and God's taking care of those hurts.

Here is a sample prayer:

I do now forgive each and every person who has ever hurt of harmed me (name each person as they come up--these may include friends, parents, siblings, spouses (ex), former acquaintances)

God, I do now ask that you bless each of these persons if they are living so that they may come to know you.

I do now forgive myself for my many faults and failures and ask according for 1 John 1:9 that you cleanse me from all unrighteousness.

Lord, please heal all the hurts in my heart and emotions and help me to "forget those things which are behind and press towards the high calling in Christ Jesus".

Please free me from the spirit of bitterness, resentment and unforgiveness in Jesus name. Amen.

Answer 10

yes you should forgive, but if you forget i think you will miss some valuable lessons that you may have been shown in the situation. just make sure that if you are remembering a situation it isnt unforgiveness in disguise. i think the greatest forgiveness of all is to make sure you are forgiven by Jesus Christ and also forgive yourself if you feel you have made some wrong decisions.