is it correct-what she is doing?

Question

a hindu married couple for the past 2 yrs. they dont have any issues.the wife is the only child to her parents and is a aloof type character. though she is employed she does not hve much friends &. keeps things close to chest and does not share things with anyone. the hus on the otherhand has an elder sis and also a cousin sister of his same age. he is actually very close to this cousin sis. at the time of marriage itself the words he uttered to the wife abt her is " she is more than a cousin sis to me" . now the couple is facing prob in their marriage life and the hus is taking this cou.sis for his confidence. in spite of being an arranged marriage, when the girls parents tried to sort things , this cou sis is talking frm the hus side. the hus has gone to the extent wherein he is confiding to her all the intimate things bet him & his wife. nw the cousin sis has resigned her job and is helping the hus to end his relation & tld the wife to sign on doted line .is she genuinly helping?

Answer 1

No that’s absolutely bad. Any dispute between husband & wife should be resolved by both of them. If that is not possible then the parents of both can help in resolving that. Even if they fail then only other relatives or very close common friends can be helping this dispute to settle down. The very fact that here a relative is not resolving the dispute rather breaking the matrimonial home completely is wrong. Let me bring in the provision of the Hindu Marriage Act, 1954 section 23 (2) Before proceeding to grant any relief under this Act, it shall be the duty of the Court in the first instance, in every case where it is possible so to do consistently with the nature and circumstances of the case, to make every endeavor to bring about a reconciliation between the parties:
Even such provisions exist in other Marriage & divorce related enactments. It is the first duty of the court even to get the parties reconciles & reunites as husband & wife before any further proceedings regarding their dispute. Even section 9 of the FAMILY COURTS ACT, 1984 provides: - Duty of Family Court to make efforts for settlement
(1) In every suit or proceeding, endeavor shall be made by the Family Court in the first instance, where it is possible to do so consistent with the nature and circumstances of the case, to assist and persuade the parties in arriving at a settlement in respect of the subject-matter of the suit or proceeding and for this purpose a Family Court may, subject to any rules made by the High Court, follow such procedure as it may deem fit.
2) If, in any suit or proceeding, at any stage, it appears to the Family Court that there is a reasonable possibility of a settlement between the parties, the Family Court may adjourn the proceedings for such period as it thinks fit to enable attempts to be made to effect such a settlement.
(3) The power conferred by sub-section (2) shall be in addition to, and not in derogation of, any other power of the Family Court to adjourn the proceedings.
Here what we find that even the legislature & judiciary wants a patch up between the parties having a matrimonial dispute & in the case you mentioned this relative is trying her best to break this matrimonial home, which is very bad & most uncalled from a lady herself whom every one feels are best to reunite the couples who are having any misunderstanding amongst themself, therefore the lady counselors are being engaged by even courts to settle such disputes. I feel really sorry for this couple.

Answer 2

Being a student of psychology, the problem is related to sex. The wife appears to be shy and frigid to some extent. Whereas, as usual with any man, he will be very eager to explore sex, and perhaps the so called cousin sister has been exploiting him revealing sex to its fullest content. This is why she has left the job and will also see to it that the marriage of the concerned subjects will also be shattered. I have gone through the reply sent by one lawyer. he is definitely wrong. If the wife were to charge the husband with adultery no direct proof will be available, and the case falls. If the wife is working she would not get any maintenance or alimony. On the other hand the husband can expose her frigidity putting her into ridicule. The problem as one another has commented is that many girls are shy, under exposed, uneducated with human relationship. Marriage is basically a movement from, lust to love. Another problem is that there are no issues. There appears to be lack of co-operation from the wife, and over anxiety on the part of the husband. They require sex education and marriage counselling. Some elderly person who has gone beyond lust, sex and love will have to help them out. Otherwise, the best will be physical examination and dope testing. the truth will come out. Of course what I have said is easily said difficult to do. Send their horoscopes. I will able to visualise easier.

Answer 3

She is not helping at least for the survival of marriage. But it seems to be that that problem has come to this stage because of wife. Most parents having a single female child grow their child in such a way that the daughter can not come to terms in her future married life. In this case, the wife had acted like enemy than friend or well wisher & she wasted her time may be unknowingly.

Answer 4

". they dont have any issues.the wife is the only child to her parents and is a aloof type character. though she is employed she does not hve much friends &. keeps things close to chest and does not share things with anyone." - a wife like this is a curse better that she divorces and spares her husband. I would actually appriciate the couz who has understood the huband's condition and is helping him free himself and supporting him even after knowing he married.

He is Confiding - blaming him: you must be crazy when you yourself have mentioned she is aloaf and keeps things to herself so let her live also by herself!! She is a curse to herself and why does she want to destroy her husband's life too to continue living in that same curse!!

Answer 5

I don't think she's genuinely helping. If she was, she would be trying to get the couple back together. This lady is fishing in troubled waters. Moreover it is obvious that the husband doesn't have a mind of his own and is interested in his cousin. Ask him to stop running behind his cousin and pay more attention in saving his marriage.

Answer 6

See your friend should have fullfaith in her love and which ever devil comes in her relationship she should not get scared I have read 1 point in some book that is a wife should always look beautiful and she should fulllfill all physical and mental needs of the husband then the husband will not look to the other girl except his darling wife.

Answer 7

no .......the cousin has no business to interfere in the couple's life. if this is incest....then its the most yuckiest thing to have happened. the husband shud immediately take charge of things on his own, mutually & amicably settle matters with his wife and shut out the cousin completely.

Answer 8

Be careful, I don´t think, it´s okay to infer in other peoples marriages.
And as you already said, she is more than a cousin to you. You might have very special feelings towards her and feel; that she is some kind of confidential for you, somebody you can rely on and somebody you can blindly trust.
I am sure, that she feels much more than that for you and somehow she thinks, that you are in love with her and she already started to plan a future with you.
Now, her first target is getting rid of your wife.
In the first place, she is your cousin sister, so a marriage between her and you is no option.
She is abusing of your confidence, as she should use this information to help you, to save your marriage and not to push you to break it up.
Maybe your wife has a very little outgoing character and maybe it is difficult for her to express her feelings, but that doesn’t mean, that she is a bad person or that she doesn´t have any feelings.
Many people are afraid to show their feelings, as they don´t want to be hurt by others and they are too shy to say what really happens to them.
They don´t feel happy that way and would prefer to have a more open character.
I can tell you, that I had a friend, who was used to keep very much to herself and was not very sociable at all. While others where chatting and laughing she stood beside most of the time without saying a word and trying to smile, she said, that she felt really uncomfortable and wanted to go away, as she simply felt, that she has nothing to say, because she was less important than others and her opinion was less brilliant than other people.
It’s a sign of shyness and a lack of self-confidence.
She was brought up in a very strict way, as her parents always wanted her to be the best in everything. Her own opinion and ideas were never listened to at home and she really felt like a miserable looser that was unable to fulfil her parents expectative, as her family never shown much affection towards her.
BUT, that doesn´t mean that she had a heart of stone or nothing to say - because people who really cared and listened to her, found out, that she was a very intelligent and open minded person with lots of feelings inside and that she was a really nice and warm person and with honest feelings.
It has got nothing to do with going to work or not, as you can be excellent at work, but still have that problem of communication abilities with others.
But everybody can get over this with the help of others.
But you decided to give not even a chance to your wife, you didn´t even try to help her, all you do is bring her down.
Listen, you are married to her and she is a human being, a person with feeling, although you might think, that she has a heart of stone because she doesn´t show any emotions, she is crying inside.
Can´t you see, that your cousin manipulates you? She is doing everything to destroy you marriage - for her own benefit.
I really feel so sorry for your poor wife, instead of giving her self confidence and helping her to get rid of her shyness and loneliness you simply throw her away, just like if she was a machine which you want to bring back to the shop and swap for another model.
Don´t you feel ashamed of yourself???
Your dear cousin sister is a snake and you are too blind to see that.
How to you think your wife feels, knowing that you tell all your intimacies to another women... these things should not be told to anybody, not even to your mother!!!!!!!!!
All you achieved is to make your wife even making feel her more insecure and more miserable. How do you want her to be more open with you and the rest of the people around her, if you treat her like that??
Sorry, only a little boy would blackmail another person like that!!
Shame on you!!!
If you feel the urge to talk, go and see a psychologist.
If your cousin sister would care about you and appreciate you as a cousin, she would not try to separate you from your wife, she would do everything to save your marriage.
Be careful, maybe you will loose the best person you ever had in life and when it´s too late you will regret it…

Answer 9

problems between hasband and wife should always stay between the 2 of them or they can seek couple theraphy,they should never ever be discussed with family members.People take joy in others problems!thats my opinion!

Answer 10

no shes trying to separate the couple
i won't listen to her any more & stay away from her
the husband needs to listen to his wife & try to work this out