I have a best friend, whos a guy. and he likes me and wants me to go out w/ him. i told him id give it a chance, but i want to wait a little while. so we're not going out. but for the last 3 months ive been w/ him 24/7. he lives in the same court as me, and he calls me every morning, and he comes over, and then he lives around midnight. we dont do anything, we just sit there and watch tv. even when i was sick he just sat there w/ me, evn tho i kinda wanted to be alone. and i almost feel like, ive lead him on. because i dont know how to tell him that i need some space w/o him getting his feelings hurt. but its something that i need to say. what do you suggest??
2007-08-07 18:58:23 · 7 answers · asked by sienna2008 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Just be honest with him. You guys are friends, right? And if he has your best interest in mind he will understand and respect your choice. If he doesn't, you'll know that as soon as you're honest with him based on his response and/or body language. The only question I would ask myself if I was in your position is how do I feel about this person? And you have to be honest with yourself first and foremost. Based on how you really feel tell him what you want your boundaries to be and see what he says. We deserve to live our life the way that we want. So live free and be happy.
2007-08-07 19:06:02 · answer #1 · answered by whatif 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow--it always suck when YOU overstep your OWN boundaries and want to back peddle!! Been there! And the guy thing--they are always gonna want to be with you--keep it as friends and DO NOT get intimate. Spending time with eachother is great but if it becoming smothering to you, I'm tellin you now the WORST thing you can do for yourself is ENDURE it to spare someone else's feelings!! You are just setting yourself up for that pattern for the rest of your life and a world of hurt!! Dont do it in a hurtful way--just tell him you love him (as a friend, a pal) and always will, and you DO NOT feel comfortable with changing the dynamics of the relationship because there IS so much at risk if things do not work out!! And for YOUR sake, TELL the guy he is welcome to see you but he will have to come over when YOU call HIM because it IS the summer and there are some things you would like to do by yourself even if its JUST sitting there BY yourself--nuthin wrong with that!! And DO NOT let him make you feel bad about that eather--and if he DOES try to lay a guilt trip on you for not wantin HIS company like he wants yours--it ain't a healthy relationship anyway!
2007-08-08 02:26:54 · answer #2 · answered by mumchik2007 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well it sounds like this guy really has some deeply careing feelings for you! and if you like him and are wiling to give dating him a chance then you must be very gentle when you explain your need for some space so that he wont take offense. if it were me this is what i would do, i would say to him, i really like you and i care about you , but i need some alone time once in a while and so i would like you to stop comming over all the time and calling all the time, this has nothing to do with you, i need time to myself thats all. i will still spend some time with you , just not 24/7 like we have been doing, i dont want this to hurt your feelings or make you angry, i just hope you can understand where i am comming from and the fact is that everyone needs some space and alone time sometimes.
2007-08-08 02:06:13 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Think about it, you say that you two are best friends. If that's so, you should be comfortable enough around each other to talk about anything. Sometimes too much togetherness is too much. Just tell how you feel honestly and in a way that doesn't emasculate him and it should be alright.
2007-08-08 03:39:24 · answer #4 · answered by Radio Diva 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell him that recently you have been feeling that you need more time for yourself and your other friends. Tell him that you enjoy spending time with him sometimes, but at times you would like to be able to be alone or with your other friends.
2007-08-08 02:05:23 · answer #5 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just say you need some personal space and that it has nothing to do with the guy
2007-08-08 02:01:54 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
....love him.....every thing is posible.....
2007-08-08 02:03:33 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋