I recently met a guy through mutual friends. We have only been around each other a few times and everytime we are, there's alcohol involved. We ended up fooling around both times (not actual sex) but now i feel absolutely horrible. Problem is, I'm one of those "dumb" girls that actually likes this guy and wants him to be interested in me too, but of course he probably doesn't have too much respect for me now. I know I need to prevent this from happening again (it's not something I do all the time, but for all he knows, I do) but is there anyway I can gain his respect or at least gain MY respect back? Should I just accept I blew it, learn from my mistakes and move on? Do real relationships ever blossom from flings or do guys lose respect for girls that fool around with them the first night they meet? Honest opinions from guys would be appreciated.
2007-08-07 17:44:32 · 9 answers · asked by Ms. M 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I'm not really blaming my behavior on alcohol. I realize it's my own fault. But in my defense, I'm 25, not an ignorant teenager and have only been with one person. Part of me feels I should have fun and explore my possibilities while I'm still young and single, I just didn't plan on feeling so bad about myself after fooling around with this guy. Maybe I'm just being too hard on myself...
2007-08-07 17:55:03 · update #1
Francine- Your story makes me feel better:) I think you're all right, maybe I should just stop over thinking this and give it time. If we see each other again, I'll just avoid getting drunk and let him see the real me. Maybe he will think of me different once he gets to know me better. Preferably outside of a party atmosphere.
2007-08-07 17:58:33 · update #2
If you are around him again don't drink and talk to him and see what reactions you get from him. If he wants you to drink say no thank you and if he keeps pushing it you know he wants to get you drunk to take advantage of you. Be careful.
2007-08-07 17:48:51 · answer #1 · answered by Jules 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Hey I've been there! I met a guy when I was 18 and after hanging out with our mutul friends over a week or so we slept together the first time we were alone. And then the next day, and the day after that until he went home (interstate). I told him "I can pretend to fend you off for a few days to seem decent or we can stop wasting time and just do it now". I'd never done that before and I felt terrible. I thought he must have seen me as an absolute s1ut and a bit of vacation fun. Which was such a shame because I really, really liked him and thought we had a future.
True story, he moved back a few years later and we dated again. We have now been married for 11 years. He saw I was a nice person and didn't "sleep around". We had great fun when we were together.
Just show him who you are, and tell him that it was just something about him that made you go further than you usually would. I'm sure he likes you!
2007-08-08 00:53:36 · answer #2 · answered by Janey 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
1. Don't blame your loose behavior on alcohol. You chose to drink and you chose to mess around with the boy.
2. Talk to him about it and see what he says.
3. To prevent it from happening again, stay in control of yourself.
2007-08-08 00:47:14 · answer #3 · answered by janicajayne 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
try going out to dinner and get a soda or iced tea instead of alchohol. if he trys to fool around again dump him. he's not worth your time and effort if he thinks you're just easy. but if he is a sweet guy this fling could work out for the better
2007-08-08 00:49:04 · answer #4 · answered by gimps 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i know a lot of ppl today hookup more casually and then things blossom. i woulddefinatley refrain from having sex, that is a good start. maybe slow it down. i know u probably cannot keep ur hands off each other...but tell him u are intersted in more and makin out just doesnt do it for u...
2007-08-08 00:57:08 · answer #5 · answered by CaliforniaJammin@yahoo.com 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
don't put yourself down if you go every were with that attitude that's what you will mirror to every. I'm sure your friends don't feel that way and give your self a chance if you think it was Alchol cut back or don;t have any as an experiment. just remember you have Friend who back you up and the don;t thank you dumb.
2007-08-08 00:55:04 · answer #6 · answered by kat M 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What is tomorrow? It is a new day. Yes, you can change yourself. Whether or not, he respects you, doesn't much matter. It is what you think of yourself that matters. Yes and no. Yes, relationships have started out with casual relationship. No, relationships have failed starting with casual relationships. Fix yourself, the rest will fall in place.
2007-08-08 01:00:35 · answer #7 · answered by A friend of Bill W 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i think the next time u are getting involved in alcohol try not drinking alcohol and confront him that u r not like that and u like him but u want respect
2007-08-08 00:48:47 · answer #8 · answered by alex a 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
not really don't mess with this guy just follow your heart
2007-08-08 00:54:24 · answer #9 · answered by rayray17 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋