Written by a man?

Question

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women
> > differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars
> > thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and
> > women with their heart.
> >
> > FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting
> > into bed.
> >
> > Well, the passion starts to heat up, we were all over each other and
> > just when I was ready to pound nails through two inch plywood she
> > looks up at me and says "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold
>
> > me."
> >
> > I said "WHAT??!! What was that?!"
> >
> > So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to
> > hear... "You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman
> > enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded
> > to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and
>
> > not what I do for you in the bedroom?"
> >
> > Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to
> > sleep.
> >
> > The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time
> > with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big,
>
> > big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried
>
> > on several different very expensive outfits.
> > She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'd just buy them
>
> > all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said
> > lets get a pair for each outfit. We went onto the jewelry department
> > where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you...she
>
> > was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a
> > shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for
>
> > a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I
> > think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She
> > was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.
> > Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is
> > all dear, let's go to the cashier."
> >
> > I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't
> > feel like it."
> >
> > Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled
> > WHAT?"
> >
> > I then said "Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while.
> > You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for
> > me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had
> > this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just
> > love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"
> >
> > Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either

Answer 1

I liked this one!

Answer 2

HAHAHAHAHA OH MY GOD THAT WAS FUNNY! Boy, that must've been a complete train wreck! What kind of woman says THAT sort of thing anyway? "You're just not in touch with my emotional needs blah blah blurgh..." It makes me want to THROW UP!!!!

Honestly, it may be because I'm thirteen that I tend to have the emotional needs of a doorway, but WTF kind of person would need emotional Zen at the very moment her partner wants to have sex? "Oh, no, honey, I don't feel like it."

Quite honestly, I view overemotional, needy-like-that females as stupid and unnecessary in human survival. Did the primitive humans need to have someone to "hold them" so that they could help their race survive? I'nt think so!

Answer 3

Ooooooooh! I loved that one!

Answer 4

AHAHAHA!!!! I love it! That's like...my favorite joke ever!!! Starred!!!