Would you take it personally if another mother didn't let their child play at your backyard?

Question

I don't let my 7 year old play in anyone's yard until I met the parents.

Well, I met this neighbor a couple of times briefly. She turned out to be my neighbor and so she had my children and I over for an afternoon and supper. We had a nice time getting to know each other and the kids played for hours.

Awhile later I invited their daughter to play in the backyard with my daughter and her friend who was over for a sleepover. The mother said she was uncomfortable for her daughter to have a sleepover here. I explained that I was only inviting her daughter to play in the backyard. She said she will wait and come over with her daughter sometime, but her daughter wouldn't come alone.

Should I take this personally. She has been in my house before briefly. I am single, so she has met my whole family and she is across the street from me and a few houses down.

Maybe she is just overprotective? Her daughter is 9 and can't go to the park across the street and is in bed by 7:30.

she is VERY Chistian and I set a guideline for our friendship that she shouldn't try to convert me because I have my own beliefs. This was in answer to her questions, so I didn't say it rudely.. I was just answering questions and I dont' think much of the Christian beliefs, so maybe she is worried for her daughter's soul or something because I dont' share her beliefs???? maybe... I know some Christians think like that anyway.. not all

Answer 1

I wouldn't take it personally. I don't let my kids out of our yard. All the neighborhood kids come to our yard and play with them. Some of these kids are in 2nd/3rd grade and are gone for hours and their parents have no clue who they are with or where. I can't imagine. We recently had a 5 year old girl raped by a 9/11 year old boys who lived in the neighborhood and played with each other often. I honestly don't trust other parents to watch my children as well as I do. As a Christian myself, I can understand her limiting her daughters time with those that don't share her beliefs. When I'm outside with my kids and other kids come around I have to warn them about bad language, obscene jokes etc. If they do it again after being warned they are out of my yard. If I weren't out there with them though my kids would be barraged with it. I'm not saying your daughter would be this way at all, just perhaps giving you some insight on how she might think. If you want a friendship between your daughters you may want to have her and her daughter over for dinner, let her get to know you better. Then perhaps she'll feel more comfortable letting her daughter out of her sight for a little while. She has to be comfortable with your parenting before she will trust her child in your care. The only way for her to know is to see it, so have her over sometime. Hope it all works out.

Answer 2

Unless it was at my best friend's home or a relatives house (same thing here) then I would not allow my son to play at anyone's home without my husband or I being present. At my son's 11 b-day some parents actually dropped off their kids at the park w/o even coming over to meet us. I thought that was wrong. Some parents I know feel as I do and others are less protective.

I would not take it personally but not everyone raises their children the same way. We all have a reason for being the way we are. If she is a good person then she will see you are too. If she doesn't then it just as well. Your child will make enough friends at school.

Answer 3

Don't take it personal. Just like you were over her house with your kids, she wants to be over your house with hers. As for not letting her 9 yr old daughter go to the park "alone" across the street... She is right to be worried about the crazies in the world today. There has been kids kidnapped from their own bedrooms for goodness sake. I also think you are being a bit judgmental to say what time she puts her daughter to bed. It seems like her home has structure. That's not a bad thing at all. Don't take it personal is all I'm trying to say!

Answer 4

I wouldn't take it personally. My dd has a very close friend and they always played back and forth between houses.

We'd known the family for 5 years and and no misgivings. Then suddenly one night the father got drunk and ended up fighting with the cops and beating up his son.

I was so glad my dd wasn't there that night but my son did witness him fighting the cops.

After that I became just a tad more protective about where my kids go. Maybe she's had something like that happen and doesn't plan to let it happen again.

Answer 5

Well, it sounds to me like she feels that she is better than you- that HER beliefs ar the "right" ones and that she doesn't want her precious daughter to experience any diversity. But, that's those right-wing, evangelical types for you... I wouldn't let it get to you, but I definitely would reconsider her as a friend- or even an acquantaince. Being a protective parent is one thing- but not allowing a 9 yr old ANY freedom is ridiculous. That girl should be out playing with her friends without her mother butting in all the time. Sounds like you've got a good head on your shoulders and are a great parent!

Answer 6

No offense to you, (because I don't know you), but I think it is great that a parent IS protective of their child. I wouldn't let my daughter go play at a park without me (unless I really got to know the person that I would be leaving her with).

If you're that concerned, why don't you talk to this woman? Either that or you could keep inviting both of them over and perhaps eventually she will warm up enough to trust you with her daughter. If she keeps coming over to your house then obviously it has nothing to do with you personally - she is just a protective mother.

Answer 7

we've a fenced in backyard and on occasion i'm going to permit my 3 a million/2 year old daughters bypass back there on my own yet save an eye fixed on them. i don't enable them to play interior the front on my own nevertheless.

Answer 8

she is probably being protective. Don't take it personally. I wouldn't really want my daughter coming over to join 2 other girls especially when 1 is sleeping the night. Girls can get very "funny" in groups of 3 and problems can arise. Continue to have them over together and as she gets to know you better and see you in your own enviroment she will most likely ease up.

Answer 9

yea sounds like she's pretty strong christian. i am a strong christian as well but i'm not really that strict but i do take my kids to church every sunday. my mother was very strict though and like my 13 year old son is very interested in japan but my mother disapproves of it and think's i should ban the japanese from my house because she finds it inappropriate because they don't really follow god's word and think's that if he's exposed to it he'll start to get away from christianity. she also think's that show's like drake and josh are inappropriate just because drake hit's on every cute girl he see's. and also my mother wouldn't really let me hang at other peoples houses it was very rare that i was able to go to sombody's house and i wasn't even really allowed to have friends over very much and i was about 14 when i was actully go over to a friends house and was around 12 that i could ACTULLY cross that street! so i don't really aggree with my mother's parenting a whole lot because i want my kids to actully have freedom.

Answer 10

It sure sounds like it doesn't have anything to do with you so I wouldn't take it personally. She might turn out to be a very good friend, I would just let her go and wait until she asks you and your child over to her place.