How to discipline 3 year old in public?????

Question

My 3 year old knows the rules, and like all 3 year olds, tests my patience from time to time, but when she explodes in public it's like 20 times worse!!! I was at target yesterday afternoon, and absolutely HAD to get groceries. My daughter was tired, so she pitched a horrible fit. I took her to the bathroom for a time out. She was screaming and yellling at the top of her lungs. The door knob jiggled, then a lady said, "Oh my god it's locked!" she then started beating on the door yelling at the top of her lungs, "I WILL CALL DHS, I WILL CALL DHS!!" I opened the door while my daughter was still sitting in time out and told her I wasn't even touching my child! I told her that I don't even spank!! Why can't I even put my child in time out in the bathroom anymore??! I was fuming mad at this point. My daughter very quickly calmed down and we continued our shopping. Does everybody really think that if a kid is crying in the bathroom, that you're beating them????

Mama-bear-
I went to the bathroom that was at the back of the store that was only 1 stall. It was a single, unisex bathroom, so I had every right to lock the door, considering my privacy! Thanks for all the responses though!

Mama-bear-
I went to the bathroom that was at the back of the store that was only 1 stall. It was a single, unisex bathroom, so I had every right to lock the door, considering my privacy! Thanks for all the responses though!

Answer 1

I think those people who do that really need to butt out of other people's business. It doesn't matter if you were spanking her or not. And the fact is you wasn't, so that lady had no right to butt in. You should have told her that.

I refuse to let my child act like that in public or anywhere else for that matter. If people want to call CPS or whatever, let them dial until their fingers fall off. It is none of their business and disciplining a child in the store isn't illegal or child abuse, so there isn't anything they can do.

Answer 2

I think you did the right thing with the time out, but, made a serious error by locking the bathroom door at a place like Target where there's 8 bathroom stalls and it's not meant to be a private place. Anyone should be able to come in, by locking the door you gave the woman a very reasonable cause to think you were really hurting your child. What if some creep took a kid into what should be a public bathroom and locked the door? By the time anyone got in it would be too late. Don't be mad at her, she was earnestly just looking out for what she thought was a child in serious danger. How many children have truely been hurt while uncaring people looked the other way?

Most people understand when they see a kid in time out and would give you the "thumbs up to you, Mom for putting a stop to her tantrum". I have too had a tooooootttalllly out of control kid in the grocery store and *couldn't* take the time for a time out; only good thing in that was that everyone in the long checkout line ahead of me very kindly sent me and screaming child to the head of the line (I'm sure whole store had to have heard her for last 10 minutes).

edited to add: by "not locking the bathroom door" I'm assuming that you locked the door to the whole bathroom; not just a stall. Stall=okay; whole bathroom=not okay.

Answer 3

Discipline 3 Year Old

Answer 4

It really IS ridiculous nowadays. Unfortunately, the best way to stop tantrums in public is to simply quietly head towards the door, leave your cart and take your child home. It will only take a couple of times doing this and she will figure out that SHE'S the reason you're leaving the store. When she calms down, you can ask her (calmly) if she knows why you had to leave, and tell her that making a fuss in a store or in any public place is unacceptable behavior and you will no longer tolerate it now that she's such a big girl- that if it happens again, you will again have to leave the store and go home. By the way, when you get home, you can give her timeout, just so going home isn't thought of as a "prize" for acting up. I know it's an inconvenience to do this, but it will probably only be necessary once or twice. Aren't kids fun!!!!

Answer 5

First, the lady is a psycho. Who cares what she thinks. You should have told her to go right ahead and call CPS - after all you were not doing anything wrong.

As far as how to discipline in public, my youngest daughter (now 5) is a firecracker. I found what works best for her is to be put in the corner. I have on multiple occasions simply taken her to the nearest corner (even in public places) and put her there for her timeout. You might get some odd looks at first but once people realize what is going on, most of them just look glad that you are not allowing your child to act like a wild animal. Once you daughter realizes that she isn't going to get away with acting out in public it will get a lot better. Good Luck!



Edit:

The poster above said that you could have just ordered a pizza if she wasn't up to it. That is ridiculous! There is NO reason why you should not to be able to go grocery shopping when you need to (the only exception would be if your daughter was sick).

Answer 6

First of all you should never have to march home with your child everytime they act up. If they're tired of the store and won't to go home you're just teaching them that throwing a fit gets them exactly that! I have spanked kids, and had stern talking to's in bathrooms AND I have overheard them in the stall next to me. It makes me happy to know that people aren't turning a deaf ear or giving in to their kids. There are enough brats in the world! Keep up the good work. When you're consistent and firm kids will learn that "hey every time I scream and yell... Mommy gets QUITE unhappy." As long as her actions get the same consequence EVERY time she'll eventually learn! What a crazy lady! She probably feels guilty and is projecting onto you because she beats her own kids. :D

Answer 7

I live in the granola capitol of Arizona. if you even speak harshly to your child, someone will call the police on you. That is why my kids know that if they act up, we will leave wherever we are, even if we have a cart load, and go straight to the house. This town has one of the highest property crime and violent crime rates in the entire state, and thye wonder "why?". It is legal in this state to spank your child, but people are terrified to actually do it, and thus we have kids that are so out of control, they are ending up in prison or in the youth authority as young as 8! I spank, I will continue to spank as needed, and I will sue the crap out of anyone who calls the cops. I dont abuse my kids, but I will get their attention. I have people comment all the time about how polite and respectful and well behaved my kids are, cant say Ive heard much of the same about Starchild and Twignuts. The local granolas are doing their kids a great disservice, and we will all pay for it.

Answer 8

NO. That is rediculous. I tell my daughter when she acts up (whom JUST turned 4) 'do I need to take you to the bathroom'?? BUT yo do have to be careful...my husbands ex wife spanked her son in the grocery store for getting out of line, and the cops were called on her, for 1 spanking! And they call that child abuse. So maybe next time just take your child by the arm-not hard, just direct, and talk to her in a calm voice and ask her if she needs a time out? Good luck to you...people out there are soooooo over rated!!

Answer 9

The first time my 2 year old had a melt down because he didn't get an expensive M&M thing that was in the checkout line display I plopped him right down in front of everyone in a time out. It was a crowded store and I was terribly embarrassed - - but, he never had a tantrum like that again. You can also buy a double stroller. Make sure she has enough snacks so her blood sugar doesn't get out of whack.

Answer 10

Well I'm a firm believer in giving the same punishment all the time. I'm a nanny and when my little ones gets out of line I do the same thing to them that I would do if we were at home. Call DHS on me. Matter of fact don't even call. You deal with them and I will finish my shopping!