my mom do not want me to have one.i can remember a time when i fell inlove but i couldnt go for it cause my mom disagree.Is it right for them to do that?
2007-08-07 13:24:17 · 26 answers · asked by Baby kim 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
they're scared of how you could get hurt.
2007-08-07 13:27:44 · answer #1 · answered by hmm 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Dating is always one of those rare occasions where parents aren't necessarily right as they are with everything else, then again with dating, believe it or not, your life can be on the line!
All parents have had experienced dating and like all experiences, they learned from them, whether they were their own or someone elses. Think about it though.. if your mom or one of her friends went out on a date with a guy she thought was nice and a pretty good guy to date, then he tried to rape her or hurt her, wouldn't that stay with her for the rest of her life? If something like that happened to her or someone that she knew she might be afraid that it will happen to you too. She isn't totally wrong to think that either, since the possibility is definately there.
And DADS... they've been there and done that! Dads also have experiences, but they aren't usually on the recieving end like your mother. I don't know if your dad has any say in this, or even if you have one (my regrets if you don't), but if you do, then I KNOW he remembers how it was to be a teenage boy! His hormones were raging... he wanted to take that girl out... and he knew all the right things to say... and he knew what he wanted his reward to be (sex). Fathers also fear that something like this will happen to their daughters as well.
Those aren't the only things that could happen either... you could get into trouble from him pressuring you (such as drugs or alcohol), sex, you could get your heart broken, you could get pregnant or get an STD, your school work could suffer amongst many other things. They really only want what's best for you. I know... I hate hearing that too, but it's true.
Even if your mom and/or dad were lucky and didn't have to go through that, they still have enough since to know how SOME teenagers are. Look! I said "SOME!" Not "most" or "all." This is where the line must be drawn. Yes, they can use their past experiences in their current life, but that doesn't give them ANY right not to let you date without meeting the guy first.. atleast not usually. If you are 14 or under then you're still just a wee bit too young, but if you're older than that then I don't see anything wrong with it.
The most that you can do would be to talk to your mom. Tell her that you would like to get together with her, that special guy you'll be sure to find, and herself, so the three of you can have some time to bond and she can get to know him. If he really is a nice guy and she's able to see that, then you will have a better chance of being able to date... HIM.
This still doesn't solve the problem of not being to date just ANYONE, but that's a parent's job.. to take care of their child and protect them from people that might harm them.
I hope this helped! My mom and dad are just like that too, and I'm currently working on fixing them a little.. for lack of better terms! Feel free to e-mail me at heartandflame@hotmail.com if you need any more tips! This is just the first page of the novel so to speak.
2007-08-07 13:39:51 · answer #2 · answered by ΘHabeas CorpusΘ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Parents jes wanna protect u from gettin hurt. They also know that boys tend 2 move quickly when they think they've fallen in love, which can happen rapidly. They also know that in certain situations u may do somethin w/ a boy that u thought that u'd never do. They also know that relationships r difficult and that u have the rest of ur life 2 have them. Pretty much, they r smarter (truthfully), and they want u 2 b wise by takin wise council.
2007-08-07 13:30:26 · answer #3 · answered by PKNat 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
By the way you are writing your probably are not very intelligent. That is one reason. Teenagers have no idea what love is. They think it has something to do with sex and that is all wrong. Grow up, get an education, get a job and be able to take care of yourself. Then look for a man that has done the same thing. To many babies born without parents that are old enough or capable of caring for them. Don't be one of them. If you are old enough to date you are old enough to say NO.
2007-08-07 13:31:29 · answer #4 · answered by TillieDillie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is your mom. Another female. She must know something don't you think? She has been there, dun that......made mistakes and sees it clearly in hind sight (which is always 100%) So , listen up to what she has to say.
Obviously, she is not living the high life(like say Paris Hilton's mom), for then she would say, if that is the way to do it.....go ahead. She is probably a working mom who is stressed out over bills and unruly kids. Heck, do you really want to end up like her. She doesn't think so, so she is offering some advice......something gained thru experience.
2007-08-07 13:29:10 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
They are only trying to protect you. Many times teenagers are not ready for the type of commitment they think they are. Most are not ready for sex and I don't know of any that are ready for pregnancy. You should talk to your mom about your intentions of having a boyfriend and also talk to her about what her concerns are and really listen to her. You might be able to work things out that way.
Hope this helps.
2007-08-07 13:29:40 · answer #6 · answered by Feivel 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think it's because they know what comes along with the territory. They were once young and know what they did and they aren't ready to face the fact that the same things are going to happen to your baby. That's just my opinion. I really don't think it's okay, because you have to learn from experience. And if they taught you well, they shouldn't have much to worry about because you will be able to make good decisions about what is best for you, even in a relationship.
2007-08-07 13:28:25 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes it is alright. It is her job to take care of the child that she brought into this world. She is simply trying to protect you until such time as you are able to learn the ways of the world and do it yourself. Now before you say... I can take care of myself, think about these things... Are you working? Are you in your own place? Have you learned the responsibility of paying several bills each and every month? What would you do if somebody sued you? Run to mom? Now you know what she is doing. Shut up and let her do her job.
2007-08-07 13:32:27 · answer #8 · answered by pappysgotitgoinon 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are several reasons why your mom doesn't want you to have a boyfriend...1) she wants you to concentrate on your schooling so you can have a chance when you hit the real world..2) she dosen't want to see you get your heart broken by some stupid, immature boy..boys tend to break girls hearts..thats just the way we are... you'll find out later in life..3) she doen't want to see you get pregnat, or even worse catch a disease...thats why...
2007-08-07 13:34:10 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
there are a lot of reasons that parents dont want their teen daughters to date. its mostly because they dont want her to be fooling around with a guy and lose sight of reality. (girls get more attached to guys if they "express their emotions" physically) the other reason is because they want to hold onto their children as long as possible. kids grow up fast and you only get to enjoy cute little faces smiling at you and telling you that they love their mommy and daddy for only a short time.
its right and wrong. they should be able to trust you, but still all teens need some guidence in their life.
2007-08-07 13:32:41 · answer #10 · answered by ElleBObo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because boys like to have sex and young girls get pegnant easyly, us parents know this and the young never want to listen so we say no alot until u smart kids grow up and move out and start you own life. Thats y
2007-08-07 13:29:15 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋