we both live in other countries and have been organising the hensparty through email. Today I got an email that was send by the other bridesmaid addressed to myself, brides mother and the grooms sister with completely different venue, theme and date. I wasnt even consulted on any thing. We had other arrangements made before this. What should I do?
2007-08-07 12:23:35 · 15 answers · asked by Buzzer4 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
I would email the bride.. its her show not the other bridesmaid.. my gosh girl can't you just phone her?
2007-08-07 12:31:32 · answer #1 · answered by Tapestry6 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I would NOT say anything to the bride. This is her wedding.. she doesn't need or want to hear about problems or bickering- especially between the 2 people she is counting on to help and support her.
You didn't say which of you was the maid/matron on honor. Whoever that is does get the final say so, although that does not excuse her behavior.
I would respond back to the bridesmaid. I would answer that HER ideas sound lovely, although you were also excited about the plans that you two had created together. I would let her know that your feelings are a little hurt- even if it's just about the date- that you wished she had at least mentioned to you the date change so you could be sure to make proper arrangements.
let her know that you would like to be active in planning and hosting this party...remind her that the bride is your friend as well..
acknowledge that you know it is difficult to plan with everyone being in different places. Ask if there is some portion of the evening that you can be in charge of- and by seperating the evening, you don't have to consult on everything. Perhaps just one of you can arrange for transportation, the other with any decorations..
In the end- if she isn't very nice and shares this with you- you get even by NOT contributing to the costs of the evening (since you didn't get to help arrange it)- and then buy the bride a fabulous wedding present which will make the other BM green with envy!
2007-08-07 13:43:26 · answer #2 · answered by Christine H 3 · 3⤊ 1⤋
wow. this is a little strange. i would email her back and ask why she has felt the need to change everything without consulting you. she may have a good reason - that the previous venue etc was booked out, or the bride could not make the date etc. the bride may have voiced her opinions to the other bridesmaid and so she made alternative arrangements.
if it turns out she just decided that the previous plans did not matter, or that she did not care enough to consult you, perhaps just throw it back at her and tell her that you see she is handling everything fine, and that you will leave it up to her to make sure everything is organised.
whatever you do, dont go crying to the bride. that is the last thing she needs!
2007-08-07 16:02:09 · answer #3 · answered by Minerva 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I guess, the big question would be: could you attend? It doesn't matter whether they have changed it or not but whether you can make it. If you have already requested time off from work and now is too late to make the changes, then decline. If the new party is in a different country than the one you and bride planned and you have already purchased your tickets, and you're tight on money or simply don't want to spend more, decline.
If you are upset that you have wasted all this time with someone to later find out that everything changed, and you don't want to go decline. You shouldn't feel like you have to do everything you are told, unless you are really, really good friends and you wouldn't want to miss her special moment for anything in the world.
So it all depends on how you feel about everything. If it were one of my closest friends, I would be a little annoyed but that would be it- I would still love to see him or her getting married. But if it isn't someone that is that close to me if it becomes annoying, I would simply tell them my boss doesn't like it when I don't give her enough notice.
Good luck.
2007-08-07 13:40:44 · answer #4 · answered by MG 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would talk to the bride and tell her that since you were not informed of the changes, and that the other bridesmaid completely left you out of the loop that you can't be involved with the wedding anymore. You spent a lot of time helping and for the other bridesmaid to just take over everything, even for the bride, is wrong on many counts.
2007-08-07 13:00:16 · answer #5 · answered by Ryan's mom 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
i could say you have 3 innovations: a million) Be trouble-free. tell her which you're commemorated, yet purely not up for the job and you sense uncomfortable status up for her once you do not completely help her decision. 2) Lie. tell her you are able to not have the money for it, you have different duties, despite. nevertheless determine which you tell her you're flattered that she could ask yet you purely can not do it good now. Being a bridesmaid somewhat is a dedication of money and time and in case you do not prefer to do it, asserting which you have not got the time or money would properly be an elementary way out (till it somewhat is extremely for sure untrue). 3) Suck it up. She's a chum, it somewhat is her decision, and as a chum you are able to p.c. to be supportive. i individually could in all probability make up some excuse - consistent with danger not the main trouble-free answer despite the fact that it would desire to save the friendship (in case you prefer to) and get you out of an ungainly situation.
2016-10-19 10:05:34 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, check your junk mail to make sure you didn't miss an email from her.
Then, write something back to the other woman only, saying "I'm sorry, did I miss an e-mail from you? I understood we were having the party at _______ on ______." And see what she says.
If she continues to make plans without you, or ignores your email, then respectfully withdraw yourself (and your money!) from the planning party. Say "It seems you'd prefer to do this yourself. I'm sure you'll do a fine job, and I'll see you at the hensparty."
2007-08-07 14:20:41 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would talk to the other bridesmaid and see where the communication fell through and when the plans were changed.
2007-08-07 12:32:06 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to her - ask her whats happened - could be a perfectly reasonable answer
Whatever you do , don't get into a battle - this is the BRIDES moment in the sun
Work together to make it fun and a great night she will remember for years to come.
As long as everyone important can make it , don't get stressed!!
Good luck
2007-08-07 12:44:11 · answer #9 · answered by sunfunsea 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
sounds like she's taking over. i would tell her that she cannot (or should not) have change the plans without disc using it first and that if she continues to take over the you will make other arrangement and she will not be part of them. harsh i know but she needs putting in her place.
2007-08-08 10:34:05 · answer #10 · answered by Jaimee1987 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋