I'm looking for something hilarious and unforgetable.
2007-08-07 11:52:37 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Jesus turned water into wine, then Chuck Norris turned that wine into beer.
2007-08-07 11:54:45 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris, you may be only seconds away from death.
Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a f***ing Indian.
In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten.
Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over thePacific Ocean.
Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the f*** down.
The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably.
Chuck Norris doesn't churn butter. He roundhouse kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out.
The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris' fist.
Chuck Norris has two speeds: Walk and Kill.
Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris
When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.
There are no weapons of mass destruction. Just Chuck Norris.
There are no races, only countries of people Chuck Norris has beaten to different shades of black and blue.
2007-08-07 19:13:23 · answer #2 · answered by chip t 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
On a high school math test, Chuck Norris put down "Violence" as every one of the answers. He got an A+ on the test because Chuck Norris solves all his problems with Violence.
Once, while having sex in a tractor-trailer, part of Chuck Norris' sperm escaped and got into the engine. We now know this truck as Optimus Prime.
Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies the possibility of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
Chuck Norris died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.
Chuck Norris was originally cast as the main character in 24, but was replaced by the producers when he managed to kill every terrorist and save the day in 12 minutes and 37 seconds.
Chuck Norris has to maintain a concealed weapon license in all 50 states in order to legally wear pants.
Bill Gates lives in constant fear that Chuck Norris' PC will crash.
2007-08-07 18:55:21 · answer #3 · answered by McLovin 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Chuck Norris counted to infinity. Twice!
2007-08-07 18:55:26 · answer #4 · answered by cyberjar88 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Chuck Norris' tears can cure cancer. It's just too bad that Chuck Norris never cries.
2007-08-07 19:18:22 · answer #5 · answered by Chewie 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Chuck Norris lives in a haunted house and the ghosts tell stories about him.
2007-08-07 18:57:17 · answer #6 · answered by neykan 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Chuck Norris never wears a condom... because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris.
2007-08-07 18:56:33 · answer #7 · answered by Rachel F Baby 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
One time, Chuck Norris walked down the street with an erection. There were no survivors.
2007-08-07 18:55:46 · answer #8 · answered by greenmage01 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
chuck norris once walked into a bank sneezed and 9 months later every one in the bank gave birth
2007-08-07 18:56:42 · answer #9 · answered by whatnotery 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
When Chuck Norris falls into water, he doesnt get wet. The water gets Chuck Norrised.
2007-08-07 18:56:04 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋