I met this guy about 5months ago...initially i wasnt serious to start with...i didnt think it could be along term relationship or something would come out of it...but as time passed by he started talkin about long term things and now he talks about the future all the time...i do love him but theres a problem..
recently we were talkin about a couple where the girl was an international student and the guy was a US citizen and my boyfriend said I know why she married him, to get US citizenship..we've talked about similar other cases where a person marries another for citizenship...the problem is I am on a student visa too and he doesnt know about it....i dont wanna tell him right now cuz im scared he would think im dating him for the wrong reason but then i dont know what to do....im really scared of whats going to happen when he finds out!!!
2007-08-07 11:06:26 · 14 answers · asked by kera 2 in Politics & Government ➔ Immigration
Look, you've just got to bite the bullet and tell him, and sooner rather than later.
It sounds like he loves you for who you are, it shouldn't make any difference to him, but the longer you leave it the more he's going to have a suspicion when he does find out that, Why didn't she tell me? Didn't she trust me? Can I trust her???
Maybe you could preface it by talking about how someone in a such a situation could be misunderstood, because they'd be scared of losing the other person. Point out if relevant that getting stay in the UK really isn't important to you, that maybe he could come and live with you in your country, or to be really fair about it perhaps you could both migrate to some third country......
Good luck. Don't worry too much about it. If he is right for you, he will understand, at least after a bit, if not ...... well better to know now than later. Good luck again.
2007-08-07 12:25:55 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My friend, if he thinks that you are dating him for the wrong reason and changes his mind, then why do you want to be with him?? Don't be afraid of what might come from your being honest with your status. Nothing is more important than being absolutely honest about stuff like this. I mean, it's not like you can hide it forever. Look at it as a great opportunity for you to see exactly what kind of a person your boyfriend is. Then you can decide if he is worthy of your time and energy. Don't ever compromise your integrity as a person for a love interest, because it doesn't work.
2007-08-07 11:22:04 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you keep hiding it he is surely going to think you are only dating him for that reason... Tell him now or hes never going to trust you. My fiance is from Central America and I can't tell you that I have never thought about the possibility of him only wanting citizenship, but when I mentioned my fear once during an argument he swore that now we will not for any reason get married until he is a citizen. Please tell him, I know your not trying to lie to him but hiding something from him will feel like a lie to him... And what would you do if someone else mentioned it to him not knowing that he doesn't already know?
2007-08-07 11:32:59 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Next time that topic comes up just say 'well so am I, and it isn't why I'm dating you. US citizens just happen to be thick on the ground in the US.' or whatever.
Hold off, and he'll have a heck of a lot more reason to be suspicious than if you are up front.
2007-08-07 11:11:21 · answer #4 · answered by DAR 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unless you are faking a great American accent I'm pretty sure he knows you are not from around here. Better to bring it up now while the relationship is young instead of later. If he is going to bolt when you drop the news, isn't it better to find out now?
2007-08-07 11:11:02 · answer #5 · answered by davidmi711 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
When two people are in Love, tribal differences do not matter to them. They become blind to everything else.
Read "Romeo and Juliet" by William Shakespeare. It's all in there.
2007-08-07 20:07:35 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be honest with him, because if he finds out you are lying he will think you have something to hide, and if he dumps you anyway you know he wasn't worth it in the first place....Never have secrets.
2007-08-07 11:17:11 · answer #7 · answered by X_Angie_p_X 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should tell him. You might not want to have him find out from someone else cause he might think the thing you fear.
2007-08-07 11:21:51 · answer #8 · answered by already_enuff_spice_in_this 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your getting serious and he's talking about the future and he's never asked you where you were from?
might as well tell him now, sounds like he's really only trying to get one thing too.
2007-08-07 11:20:56 · answer #9 · answered by pickle_tkl 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If he loves you enough, he will understand. If he just ditches you just like that he wasn't the one. Don't worry...
Explain the circumstances..
2007-08-07 11:19:56 · answer #10 · answered by Cali4niaGirl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋