PLEASE ANSWER...CURIOSITY ABOUT fiancee's ring.?

Question

MY fiancee proposed to me and we are engaged we have been since christmas...however...
I was wondering I don't feel like he put alot of thought into the ring or the proposal.

I feel like yeah he wanted to marry me however did he really try to make it romantic or sweet. What does his effort show?
mY RING IS white gold with a marquis cut diamond in the middle with 3 small diamonds on the side. i asked my fiancee if they were diamonds he said he didnt know asked if they it was gold he said he didnt know. I told him I needed to know for cleaning the ring...so I know it is because he is shy about..what DO YOU THINK?

MY QUESTION IS:

SHOULD I WONDER ABOUT THIS AND SHOULD I ASK HIM
SHOULD I BE FEELING LIKE THIS

AM I SELFISH FOR THINKING THIS WAY.

MY FIANCEE PROPOSED ON CHRISTMAS LAST YEAR IN FRONT OF MY ENTIRE FAMILY...video tapped and all. Well I'm not sure if he took his time looking for the ring.

ISN'T THAT IMPORTANT THAT YOU BUY A RING YOU LIKE FOR YOUR GIRL?

Answer 1

i think you should stop being selfish.
most guys are very nervos about proposing (i know my husband was) and just because he might not have come up with a long speech and blah blah blah, doesnt mean he didnt put htought into it.
if you really want to know if your ring is real or not take it down to a local jewelry shop and they'll tell you!

Answer 2

In a way, yes you are being selfish. It sounds like you have a beautiful ring. However, it is just a ring, a material item. I have never understood why some women get so wrapped up in having the perfect ring. If you have the perfect guy, isn't that enough?
Guys don't think about this ring thing, near as much as women. Many also don't have the first clue about buying a diamond. In a way it kind of sounds like he is not giving you a straight answer because he feels that all you are concerned about is the gold and diamonds. Or maybe he feels like you are criticizing his taste.
I also think you are way to obsessed with the whole engagement/proposal thing. The proposal and engagement are not the point. It will end up being one moment and a year or so of your life. The marriage is the point (and I don't mean the ceremony). This will be the rest of your life. Try to focus on your life with this man and not just the "important" moments, because in the long run they just are not that important.
If you still feel unsure about this ring thing, take it to a jeweler and have it appraised and then cleaned, if you must. They will tell you if it is real and quality. Although having it appraised behind his back is shady and just not right. Think about where your values truly lie. What is more important the ring or the love of your life?

Answer 3

I dont know anywhere you can buy a ring without them telling you what the stones are and most gold is hallmarked so you should be able to see if it is real gold.
It will be stamped 14 ct or 18ct or have 375 for 9 ct gold.
Anyways take it in to a jeweller to find out, it is simple they just put a little device on the stone that will beep a certain way if it is real. The ring does not even have to leave your sight.
I find it more disturbing that he didnt put any effort into making the proposal romantic. That is what a proposal is all about. But then it depends on what is romantic in your book. To me, a heartfelt going down on one knee at a place that is special to us both, and asking with words from the heart. That is enough for me. But if he just handed it to you and said marry me......then I would be upset.
I dont think you are selfish but I do wonder if you are having second thoughts about whether this is the guy for you.
Do you truely love him with all of your heart?

Answer 4

No you are not selfish. I think that is very very odd indeed. You didn't say how he proposed for us to judge if that was a lot of thought but I know my husband spent months looking for my ring and can quote every spec on it. He doesn't know what he spent money on? If its gold, diamonds, etc. That is very odd. Either its fake or he is terrible with money. Not good.

My husband (and in fact most of the men I've known) spent ages planning the perfect proposal, recruiting help. Actually, the few engagements when the guy proposed in a very unromantic way (one friend in the Shoney's parking lot) didn't end up in marriages.

I'd wonder why he doesn't want to be open and honest. You should feel however you do feel--the problem is that he doesn't seem to care how you feel. You aren't even married yet and having so many communication and/or money problems. You should be worried about that.

I'd make it a long engagement so you can be sure before you get married.

Answer 5

He obviosly planned the proposal if it was video taped and I suspect he was hoping that having planned ahead to capture the special moment would be romantic.

My husband proposed at starbucks while we were studding for our college classes. I had helped him look at rings, so I knew it was comming in the next several months but doing it then was awasome because it was definaly a surprise!!! He also did something we had a common intrest in, a magic trick to make it appear. It was kinda a cheese magic tric but it was his nervousness, smile, and joy at my response that really made it romantic!!! A 3 course meal doesn't make it romantic or memorable just expensive and expected.

Your ring sounds beautiful!!! If you want to know how much thought he took into picking it out or something without insulting your (potential) future husband.... try being sly...

Randomly (you) staring at the ring affectionatly and proudly...mention how beautiful it is... Where did you ever find it? ....

That may or may not work. Maybe he put alot of time into ring shopping and couldn't afford the ones he wanted to get you. Then he found a beautiful ring at a pawn shop and purchased one in his budget and beauty. This would explain a hesitency to tell you where it came from and a lack of insite into it's statistics. If what I said above turns out to be the case, know that he (your fiance) will search high and low to find you the best he can without putting your family in debt up to your eye balls.

Guys generally mean what thy say: "I love you" means that as does "will you marry me." No matter how confident the male, they are putting themselves on the line by asking for marriage. There is always the chance of rejection. Don't marry him if your not sure. Get pre-marital counseling to help you learn how to discuss things and address issues of trust and pointless questions of the female mind (guys don't get this). If you can't do counseling read "Men are from mars and women are from venus" together (so you can dicuss what you find as odd). It is very enlightning for both genders.

Answer 6

I worked in upper-end diamond sales for awhile. You would have no IDEA how nervous these guys get!
He deserves praise for presenting a ring at the proposal. I worked with about 10 couples a day, looking for engagement rings, and I was lucky if I got one single guy. Trust me, it's so overwhelming for them, usually they give up and just bring the girl!
Assuming he did purchase the ring, it's entirely possible that the salesperson flooded him with so much info he just glazed over.
Ask him where he purchased it. You need to have insurance on your ring, and the store will probably do that service free of charge. Ask for an appraisal. Our store would set the appraisal for 10% over the value of the ring, to account for inflation. (You have to have an appraisal for insurance.)
If you can't get him to spill the beans on where he bought it, find a reputable jewlery store in your area and ask them if it's real. They have tools to determine this, and most workers can tell simply by looking. Then, once they determine it is real, they can clean it and either do the appraisal for you (for a fee), or point you in the right direction.
You have no reason to be selfish, unless you find out it's a fake.

PS, my bro claimed he would propose with a fake ring. Just to see if the girl is going to have it checked for value. If so he was going to dump her. He said he didn't want to marry someone who only wanted his money. He then was going to replace the ring with a real one later on. I explained to him about the appraisal and the insurance, and that I would never allow him to marry someone who wasn't smart enough to protect his investment! He has since changed his mind.

Good luck, hope I helped.

Answer 7

Your not selfish, you're just curious about something that all women think about. If you want to know if the ring is real, go to a jewelry and ask the details about the ring, don't ask him because he could be offended. If the ring is not real, don't get mad at him, remember that the intention is what counts. Just make sure he gave you a real one for the wedding ring :-D.

Congratulations!

Answer 8

Go to a jeweler and ask for an appraisal. Could it possibly be that he bought you a sterling setting with CZ stones? I wonder. Some guys just don't have the knack for being romantic. What can you do that is the way some guys are.

Answer 9

Are you selfish for thinking. . .? It seems to me you are more concerned with whether he did it "right" than whether he did it. My prediction would be that if you marry him you will be endlessly upset that he didn't do anything and everything "right" or for the "right reason". You're right, from your standpoint, he didn't put a lot of thought into it. What you've gotten is what you'll get so don't marry him.
Because of my age and experience, this question comes to mind. Has ANY guy done things the "right" way so as to satisfy you?

Answer 10

Wow...you're totally overthinking it. If he asked you, it's because he meant it. Not every man is the gushy type to think up some special event for the proposal...For many men, just getting up the nerve to ask is a special event. I think his effort shows that he wants to marry you!

If he doesn't know whether or not they're diamonds, it's probably because he went to the jewelry store, and just assumed they were diamonds, and never thought to ask. Most jewelry stores don't sell clear stones that aren't diamonds.

No, you shouldn't wonder about this...Just like most of the things in life, you need to simply embrace it and enjoy it for what it is, and not worry about what it might not be.