I don't want a baby right know....but I still love him?

Question

well first off....I am 19 and my ex b/friend is 19 also.....we had been togather for 1 year and 3 months...he moved away last year to lived in new york,because his parents got new jobs..I was so hurt...I live in aruba.... but now he came back for a week .....and we still have strong feeling for eachother.....and he told me the only way that he can stay ...if I get pregant...because his parents would let him stay with me then........ I rrreeeeeaaaalllllllyyyyyy do love ,but I don't want a baby right now....and I don't know what to do....could you pls help me?

Answer 1

Hey Lady K if you 2 love each other so much Y is he rushing you to do this? He may love you but think of what his parents may do they may not let him come back and your parents we both know we dont want to talk about that now do we. I'm saying look your 19 your old enough to move out and so is he. C what I'm tryin to say you both can move in with each other. Besides I really do think you are both to young to have a kid I'm only 15 and I know this stuff. Bye 4 now

Answer 2

If he is 19 years old, his parents can't make him do anything. If he really loves you then he should make the sacrifice of leaving his parents and being with you. Or even making arrangements to have you move to New York. Saying that you need to have a baby will make him stay is NOT an expression of love, it is an expression of power and sneakiness - he wants to see how far you will go for him. Don't have a baby because someone else tells you to. Do it because you actually WANT a baby. And tell your guy friend to grow up and be a man, not a momma's boy. If he wants you, he needs to prove it to you, not the other way around.

Answer 3

I am 42 years old....please listen to me. DO NOT get pregnant. If this is the one true love of your life (which I seriously doubt, I believe that you will probably have at least a dozen more) It will happen at another time, with him, when you are sure. In the meantime, get a job and go to school, study hard so you can use your mind, not your body, to earn a living. So you can give a great life to the child that you will eventually have. Save a little money and when you can afford it, take a vacation and see your X. I repeat DO NOT have a baby anytime soon.

Answer 4

A baby never solved any relationship problem, long distance or otherwise. I'm abhorred that the dude even suggested it, and that you're even considering it out of this blind love you feel for him. Don't be silly and immature; if you know having a baby right now is not for you, then don't let anyone, including this guy you "love" so much, pressure you into making that choice. A child is not a band-aid; he or she is a lifelong commitment that carries more emotional, psychological and financial responsibility than most people give credence to. That fact that you're hesitant to agree makes me at least hopeful that you realize that.

Answer 5

And is there any guarantee he will stay with you once you do get pregnant? He sounds like a child to me. And a liar. His story is ridiculous - his parents will "let him stay with you." He's full of it. He's of legal age so he can do whatever he wants. This is not the kind of guy you want to be having a baby with, especially at 19. Tell him to go back to New York.

Answer 6

I realize you love him, but do you really know what love is?? You are 19 years old... I've had two long distance relationships..at that age too. I really thought I was in love with one of them to the point where I even considered getting pregnant for him to move back to my hometown. Man am I happy I didn't, I met a new guy (I wasn't looking it kinda just happened) and I realized I wasn't in love with him, it was just that I missed him and I loved the fact that he loved me so much, it was more of a young girl being in love with love. The new guy I met I married and now I have 3 beautiful children, I couldn't be happier. Please think about it, are you really in love with him?? Ask yourself that question, a baby is a really big responsibility and it would not be fair to that child if you just got pregnant for the wrong reasons. It is a selfish act if you ask me.. Hope this helps..

Good Luck..

Answer 7

Don't do it! Trust me you do not want to have a baby if your not ready and you don't absolutely want one. Tell him that if he really loved you he would grow some balls and tell his parents that he is moving out and staying with you. What he is asking is insane, not to mention the two of you are only 19. What happens when in 3 or 4 years he splits and your stuck with a baby that even though you love you did not want to begin with?

Answer 8

You have to put care and future of your future children first. Love your future child now and ask yourself does this sound like what's best for him, not for you, not your boyfriend. If he needs his parents support it sounds to me like he doesn't have the resources to raise a child. His parents aren't going to be thrilled to raise an unexpected child. You having to be pregnant as a condition to live with him just means he figured out a way to force his parents to accept you. Do you actually know this guy? He's been gone a year and the last time you spent time together you both were 18, in high school?
Think of the Kid!!

Answer 9

What your possibly thinking about doing shows your selfishness and imaturity.

So just for your own selfishness you want to bring an innocent baby into your selfish little world. THATS SO STUPID! Think about what your thinking......its totally retarded. Now grow up the both of you. Are either one of you going to die for sure in the next 10 years........probably not. Well if you two are meant to be then you will be meant to be......don't please don't bring a baby into something you two really don't even know is really go to work out.

Answer 10

DON'T HAVE A CHILD JUST BECAUSE YOU WANT TO STAY WITH A CRUSH! That's exactly what it is. And if you have a kid while you both are 19, then you will be stuck with all of the responsibility because I can guarantee he is not mature enough to take of care of you, a child and himself. Don't do it please, it's not worth making a child's life.