What do you think of marriage?

Question

Do you see it as a unity of two people that love one another or just a piece of paper?

What do you think of people that just see marriage as a peice of paper? Bitter, resentful

Reason why I ask is because I am getting married and some know it all at work said 'I just see marriage as a piece of paper'

This is coming from a girl that is 22 and she has a mortgage with her 21 year old b/f... also this is the guy she lost her virginity to.


I also asked why she thinks this, she would not answer, however, I think it is because her b/f has never asked her.

This bitter girl's mother and father are divorced and have re-married and I think divorced again.... so that I think explains it!

If people are saying that it is a religious matter to get married, why do people have the option of doing it in a hotel or a register office??????

Answer 1

I am not religious at all, but i think marriage is very important to me as a person. I see it as a confirmation of the love between two people. That someone loves you enough to take that often scary step of getting up in front of friends and family to speak the wedding vows, it means a lot.
I think it also shows respect. I think when a man asks a woman to marry him, he is showing her that he honours her, respects her, and wants to make their union a lifelong one.
Sure many of these marriages dont last, but at that moment the love and respect is there.
I know it is wrong to think this way, but I look at couples that have lived together for years without marriage and I just always seem to think that there is something lacking there.
I think the girl at work is jealous, as you suspected. She and her man probably cant afford to marry, because of their mortgage, so she is pretending it is stupid and unimportant.
Marriage is very important to me, and had my man not asked me soon, I would of walked away because I would of thought he was not taking me seriously enough and not giving me the respect I deserve. Luckily for him....and for me! We are now planning our 6th July wedding for next year.
To have a wedding does not mean one has to be religious.

Answer 2

Interesting question.... On one hand, it is a legal contract on a piece of paper. That piece of paper won't make my partner and me any more or less in love or any more or less committed to each other. My guy and I are also non-religious and do not believe that we need the piece of paper to somehow validate our relationship. That said, we have still decided to get married because that official piece of paper will make life much easier for us by giving us legal rights that we would not have otherwise.

I"m surprised that so many people are saying that marriage is primarily religious. Maybe it is for some people, but (at least in the US) you're not considered legally married just by having a ceremony in a church, synagogue, temple, or mosque. You need an official marriage license and certificate to be legally married. Those are issued through court houses and not through religious institutions.

Answer 3

When you have found your life's partner and you marry, it is only then that you become complete - two into one. It is a most wonderful state of being knowing that you have in your partner a best friend and lover, someone who knows your weakest moments and yet they still accept you and love in your imperfect state. Knowing that they will always be there for you, ready to laugh, cry, sympathise, share - it can never be equated to a piece of paper. The love you have as a married couple cannot and should not be easily torn up or thrown away. It should be a life commitment through good and bad times. Your friend probably wishes she had what you have, she is actually incomplete and should not pull you down to her level.

Seek your happiness and be united with your love. I wish you all the best for your marriage.

Answer 4

I believe in marriage if people really think it will last. If they go into it with the the option to "out", then it is just a piece of paper and why bother. I am married and have been for 12 years to the man that I truly believe is my soul-mate. I never see me being without him. I still get excited when the phone rings unexpectedly and it is him.
At 22 I do not even remember how I felt and as you say, she may be wanting something out of a relationship that she is not getting.
Do not let her feelings put you off, just be sure marriage is truly what you and your partner want, if it is do it.
Good luck.

Answer 5

I think marriage is a great idea of two people being in love and spending the rest of their lives together but now people have become selfish and self-centered i can understand you leaving a marriage if you are being abused or they are acholic or drug user but people just leave and break up all the time they give in and they will have affairs they don't seem to care anyway maybe the media is to blame for making it so much more acceptable to get divorced the next day. but now i think love has become some kind of make belive and that marriage is a fairy tale.

Answer 6

In my personal experience i believe it is just a piece of paper, i was due to get married last year but 5 weeks before the wedding my partner kindly told me it was over completely, i believe if we had just stayed together as partners without the anxiety and stress of a forth coming wedding i think we have may have still been together,(he even said the same)

IMO why do you need a piece of paper just to prove to the world/family and friends that you love each other, true love doesn't need a ring

Answer 7

I agree marriage isnt seen as a big unity between a man and a woman, well now because there are rights for cohabitating partners and also civil rights for same sex couples. Also pre-marital sex doesnt make marriage based on saving yourselves for the one. So with the soaring divorce rates and the amount of re-marriages the vows taken during the ceremony dont seem as important as undoing a signed piece of paper. I truly believe though, marriage is something you and your partner believe is the final goal in any relationship.

Answer 8

Marriage for me is a ceremony, where two people in love state thier intention to remain togehter, even if things get bad. They make this claim in front of thier families and friends, it is truly an act of love.... Or at least it should be.

I know of, and have heard of people who get married because it's "romantic", or it's "the adult thing to do" or even one guy married to show his dad how grown up he was !!!

If I get married (and it is a strong possibility Helen, if you read this answer) it will be for love and because I want to share my commitment with the woman I love, and share my feeling about her with my family and my friends.

Marriage is not a peice of paper, that is simply a peice of paper, marriage is the ethos, not the ink !

Answer 9

It all depends on the person and how they view marriage. I see it as a unity, a commitment, and a promise. Others can see it as a contract that will cost them a fortune to undo if the relationship didn't work out. I've been with hubby 13 yrs and very rocky more than solid and my sis has been with her guy (not married after 15 yrs of being together) and she is on solid ground with him and going strong !!

Answer 10

Before I got married, I saw it as mostly a piece of paper.

The day after I got married, I realized it is so much more. It's a promise to each other that you're never going away. It's a commitment that's more than just the words. The piece of paper allowed me to open myself up to my husband more than I felt I could before the wedding.

My guess is the reason your friend is saying this is because that's what her boyfriend says when the subject comes up.