charging relatives at your wedding?

Question

There is a girl I work with, she has a cousin getting married at the end of the week,

the girl is a singer and she is going to charge her cousin for singing at the wedding.

I think it is terrible, what do you think?

This is the same girl that asked me to pay her if she was going to sing at mine.

She is not a professional singer.. she has a myspace and it is unsigned.. dont know if that means anything!

Answer 1

Cousin- no way!!!! Only exception is if the cousin has to travel a long distance- don't think the cousin should ask but the bride and groom should offer to pay for her travelling expenses- and the cousin should say no!! Unreal! Very terrible! I guess the bride is stuck though. She should go ahead and pay unless she wants more family trouble down the line. I'm sure the cousin would be resentful if the bride were to get someone else to sing.

Answer 2

Hi,

Mmm I do feel this is a bit on the mean side considering it her relative and imagine if she no good! That a waste of money!

If I were her, I would do it free as a wedding present at least.

Maybe she wants to go professional with singing and because weddings can be a good place to promote herself she may want to remain professional so she is charging cousin so that if anyone else wants her for their wedding she can have a set fee in mind and they can view her as a professional.

If I were her cousin I would say no to paying her and just get the old karoke out that gets even Grandma up rockin, rollin; and singing!

Lx

Answer 3

You don't have to be professional to be good . Where I live most people are not professional that sing at weddings and they certainly expect to be paid. They are usually excellent and I think that's fair enough. I wouldn't really expect anyone to charge close family for singing at their wedding. However, by the same token if the relative is to be a guest at the wedding I would not ask them to sing unless they offered. I had a daughter married 3 weeks ago and my niece played the organ at her wedding and my cousin sang. Both volunteered and made it clear it was part of their wedding present. Similar happened at my other daughter's wedding and we got them big baskets of flowers as a thank you. This time we gave each of them a thank you card with restaurant vouchers inside. They were both delighted and didn't expect it but we felt it was so good of them to do this and wished to express out sincere thanks. If the girl only works with you and was singing at your wedding I think she should be paid. However, she shouldn't have voluteered her services but waited until you asked her.........that's if your were going to?

Answer 4

I disagree. Why should she do it for free? If you were a professional hairdresser, how would you feel if relatives were always asking you for free haircuts? No, I think she is perfectly entitled to be paid for her time. It's up to HER if she instead decides to forgo payment and make it a gift. The fact that this is a relative is irrelevant. If it was a sibling or parent's wedding, I could see not charging, but everybody else can pay.

I have no doubt that this woman has been taken advantage of in the past.

Answer 5

Instictively, I agree with you. It's nice when relatives offer services free of charge.

Then I start thinking, this is their livelihood. I'm a photographer, and my sisters get discounted portraits, but not free ones. My sister is a hairdresser, and I get discounted highlights and cuts, but I still have to pay.

Now, for a special occasion like this, I would probably not charge them. But I probably would charge my cousins a discounted amount. That's a lot of income to lose. At some point, you have to draw a line there, or everyone you know who is close to you, or related to you, will think you will offer free services.

It's unfortunate. Personally, I don't think it's that nice, but I understand why she's doing it and I wouldn't feel like it was up to me to determine if it was right or wrong.

It crosses over from unfortunate to terrible when she's not being consistant. As in, if she had been willing to sing for free at your wedding, but not your sisters, that would really not be nice. But she's actually being fair about it, even if you don't like what she's doing.

Answer 6

I am a liturgical musician/vocalist and have been for many years. I have been a soloist at many weddings, my father is also a professional musician. I only do this on the side. We have a rule, we don't charge family, period!

Now if they offer, depending on how close of a relative it is, then we may accept whatever they give but we do not charge. So yes I think it is rude, but I think it all shows where your priorities are.

FYI a professional musician is one who makes their living as a musician, meaning that is their main source of income.

Answer 7

If people are paying her to sing, then I guess she is a professional.... however I think that at relatives weddings, this girl should NOT be charging for her services.... When I got married a former BOY FRIEND of mine sang and played guitar--it was BEAUTIFUL... he never ASKED for a dime but I OFFERED and he said it was his gift to me... funny thing was I divorced my husband 3 years later (back in 1980) but the former boyfriend has remained my FRIEND for the past 27 YEARS...guess I should have tried to marry HIM instead!!!!

Answer 8

Most musicians (professional or not) receive some form of payment for learning and perfecting a beautiful song for the wedding. If the cousin said this is her gift to the bride, then she shouldn't be paid. If she is being paid, she should/will still provide a gift. I paid my friends who were my pianists. I did not pay the singers because they were friends/relatives plus we had paid for their attire (tux/dress) and her hairstyle and jewelry.

Answer 9

If she is good she may be trying to form a career as a wedding singer. She may not be that close to her cousin anyways. If she usually does weddings for a set price then she is within her rights to get payment. If they were not having her they would probably be paying much more to someone else. It is their wedding and if they are happy to pay it, why not? We usually do pay for this kind of service.

Answer 10

If she's a professional singer, being paid is correct. How about she sings as her gift to the couple?