Is the $$Money Dance$$ appropriate?

Question

I am from the south and I assume that maybe this dance at a wedding is a local thing. Most all of the weddings I have ever been to has them and my finance wants to have one yet I feel a little tacky doing it. I feel like its saying "hi bring us a gift and while you at is give us some money"

What are your thoughts on it???

Answer 1

Honestly, I guess a lot of people did not grow up on "if you don't have anything nice to say, then don't say anything".

I am so sick of defending the "dollar dance" as we, in my area of the Northeast call it. There are many old traditions followed in this area of the country...since this is where our country was founded. That said, I have never been to a wedding where there WAS NOT a dollar dance. There is absolutely nothing wrong with it, and it is expected. I have never, in all of my years, heard someone complain about it. Most people where I'm from give a dollar, five, ten, or twenty. There is no rule that everyone has to participate, but almost everyone does. It is to wish the couple well, spend a few moments alone with the bride/groom, and give them a few more dollars to help start their home or for their honeymoon.

Once again, I'd like to say that those who think that it's "tacky" or "trashy" should spend more of their free time educating themselves and less time criticizing other people's cultural traditions.

I will have a dollar dance at my reception, and I am also having a cookie table, which stems from an Italian tradition. Does anyone have anything uneducated to say about that, as well?

Last, but not least: IT'S A DOLLAR! For crying out loud. It shouldn't break anyone's bank. Stop being so cheap.

Answer 2

I am from australia, and I have never heard of a money dance and I usually dont carry cash when going to a wedding! So I would be embarassed and mortified if I suddenly realised that I had to fork over cash and didnt have any!
But I have heard that Greeks (or is it Italians....pretty sure it is Greeks) pin money to the brides dress......I guess that is a custom of theirs.
Anyways getting back to the money dance, I am not exactly sure what it is or how it is done but sorry to say, it does sound tacky to me.
However if everyone does it in your area and are expecting you guys to do it too, I guess you could do one. People might find it odd if you dont.

Answer 3

The "Money Dance" is alive and well, and it's a very popular custom at many wedding receptions all over the world.

The money dance is traditional in several different cultures. In most cases, it is a dance where the male guests pay for the privilege of dancing with the bride, although in today's weddings, the female guests also pay for the privilege of dancing with the groom. Each person who dances with the bride (or groom) gets just a few seconds before another guest cuts in. The money is for spending money for their honeymoon.

Some couples hesitate because they feel that it isn't done very often. It is estimated that the Money Dance is done at well over half of all the wedding receptions throughout the United States. You can decide in which manner your dancing partner can deposit his/her offering . . . in a purse carried by either you on your wrist or held by the hostess, or, as is done most often, they can pin the money on the Bride's veil or the Groom's tuxedo. Pins are offered to guests by the hostess who stands on the edge of the dancing area by the waiting line.

In some places their "Dollar Dance" donation buys a complete dance. In other area’s the hostess shuffles your dancing partners in and out every twenty seconds or so. You can expect to dance with 15-30 partners before it's over. The minimum donation is, of course, one dollar, although several larger denominations are routinely donated.

Timing is vital if you plan to have a Money Dance at your reception. You want it to be part of the natural flow of your reception. The trick is not to have it too early (you don't want to appear TOO eager), or too late (many guests may have departed, either physically or mentally). The most natural time is right after the garter and bouquet have been tossed, and as the last "event" for the photographer. This point should be no later than one hour before the end of your reception. By that time the guests are usually "relaxed" and ready to participate in the Money Dance.

How long the Money Dance should last? The answer is until all of your guests who wish to participate have been given the chance to have a dance. Your hostess will see how many people you have in line and should escort your guests through quickly and efficiently. She will notify the band or DJ when it is the last Money Dance song, and it will come to a conclusion naturally.

Another consideration is that the Money Dance gives you the opportunity to dance with those guests that you would not have the time or availability to dance with otherwise. Those who join the Money Dance are just happy to be able to share a dance with you on your wedding day.

Answer 4

I am from Ohio, and there has been a dollar dance at every wedding that I have ever been too. I am planning on having one at my September wedding. People on here are going to tell you that it is tacky, but if your family and friends are used to that then they won't think its tacky at all!! If people don't want to do the dollar dance at your reception, they don't have to. It's also a really nice way to get to talk to some of your guests one-on-one and I think people forget about that!

Answer 5

If you feel uncomfortable having gifts and the money dance why not have only one. If you let your guests know that you will not have a gift list but will be having a money dance they can come prepared!

Answer 6

Maybe it is more of a "southern" to midwest tradition.. because those are the weddings I've experienced them at. I'm from southern California, and we wouldn't dream of asking our guests to pay for a dance.
I totally agree with you on this. They are already buying a gift and possibly forking out a bit of $$ to get to the event, asking them to hand over cash seems rude and tacky.

Answer 7

im not from the south, i do not think they are tacky at all!!! where this notion of tackiness came from i have no idea!!!
every wedding ive ever been to family and friends alike have had a money dance.
i suppose if you are super rich and snobbish, then you would think its tacky, but its fun and somehting ive always seen done at weddings.


it is not a culteral thing, since im white.
and im from california, where everything costs an arm and a leg, and people still do it.
its not about being a money whore.

Answer 8

i soooooooooooo hates it when people say it is a southern tradition. i am from Florida, not much more SOUTHERN than that. i have been to ONE wedding where they did the money dance (my husband's cousin) and let me tell you those people are not money dance people. no one wanted to participate.

with that said, i do not know your ethnicity. if this is apart of your cultural, i would do it. but it sounds like you don't want to do it, that you do not have ties to such a tradition. i would not do it if it is not something important to you.

Answer 9

It's tacky and crass.

Simply, not appropiate. If it's acceptted in your social circle, then go for it, if people don't know any better it woudln't make a difference.

BTW, it's not a tradition, is a scam for money and it's in the poorest taste.

Good luck

Answer 10

yes, it is BEYOND TACKY. People who live in trailer parks have money dances. Its so selfish.

"hey.. come to my wedding and were gonna make you feel obligated to give us more money even when you already brought a gift"

Ugh... i have way more class then that. i hope you do too.