Tell me if this is rude.... regarding family invites....?

Question

I have an aunt and uncle and their two daughters that neither me nor my family is very close to. Is there any way I cannot invite them or some way I can seat them away from my immediate family b/c the family i speak of is rude and will be asking prices of everything and i dont want them to ruin the experience for my mom and dad. we share a grandmother so i dont know how this would work out... i jsut dont picture them as a part of my special day - me and my family really dont like them cuz they are rude and loud and selfish.... what is a good compromise?

Answer 1

If you aren't concerned about hurting feelings, simply don't invite them. If they aren't close to you or your parents, they may not even expect to be invited. You are not required to invite anyone to your wedding that you don't want to be there.

If you feel obligated to invite them, possibly because it would hurt the feelings of another relative such as your shared grandmother, simply seat them at a table with people you think they will "mix" well with. You definitely do not need to seat them with your parents, that isn't necessary at all.

One of the best ways to fend off an inappropriate question, like someone asking you how much something costs, is to respond by saying "Why do you ask? or "Why do you want to know?" - You will be shocked how quickly it shuts them down and makes their rudeness apparent. They are caught off guard and it usually stops any further questions.

Best wishes!!

Answer 2

If you don't like them why invite them? Yes they are your RELATIVES, but not everybody invites all their relatives to their wedding. I had only ONE UNCLE at my wedding yet I had 7 uncles and NONE of my aunts came or were invited and I had 8 of them. No one was slighted because I HARDLY even KNEW any of the other aunts and uncles..... if they find out about the wedding (which I assume SOMEONE will tell them)---and call BEFORE the wedding to ask why they were not invited... that would be rather tacky of THEM to do---but they might----whoever talks to them just has to say that they were limited in how many people you could invite and since you don't NORMALLY socialize with them, you felt that they might feel uncomfortable being invited.....(which isn't actually a lie)... but you can't REALLY tell them you didn't invite them because they are loud and rude.... In the long run, it is YOUR wedding day and you should have ONLY THOSE PEOPLE YOU WANT around you to celebrate YOUR DAY....

Answer 3

Don't invite them. It's not worth ruining your special day. However, they will recognize the message - "there is distance between us and I'd like to keep it that way" - so do expect some sniping and rudeness at family functions after the wedding. (Like they wouldn't have been rude anyway, this just gives them something specific to gripe about.)

If you do feel it necessary to invite them, seat them at the far end of the room, away from the rest of the family, with the sort of random, lower-ranked table usually occupied by coworkers and children.

Answer 4

Honestly if you don't want them at your wedding then don't invite them. It is your day and you don't want people you dislike to be there. They are family but you said your not even close to them. So just don't invite them. They will just act rude and selfish at your wedding, pretty sure they won't care if they weren't invited.

Answer 5

Invite them to the wedding, but not the reception. If they are at the wedding, they won't have time to talk to you or your parents. You'll be too busy. After the wedding, your photographer will keep you too busy to talk to them. And then you're on your way to your reception, where they won't be. It's a way to keep them involved without totally alienating them.

In the end, it really is up to you who you invite. If you want to burn that bridge between you and the Black Sheep family, not inviting them would do it. But if you invite them to the wedding, they really have no reason to feel left out. And you'd be able to keep relations healthy or at least relatively healthy between you.

Good luck whatever you decide.

Answer 6

If this is the kind of family you only send Christmas cards to during the holidays, rather than driving to see them or having Christmas dinner together, I think it's fine to sit them at a different table full of unsuspecting people.

If you see this family more than once a year, you might want to consider having them close to the rest of the family.

Answer 7

If you don't like the aunt and uncle, you DO NOT have to invite them!

You do not have to invite anyone you do not want there at your big day.

Answer 8

I had some family I did not like, I did not invite them. They asked why, and I told them. I was honest and said, you all always make us feel uncomfortable because we do not make the money you make. So instead of dealing with your crap, we are not inviting you.
They did not come, and no one in the family really cared about it.

Answer 9

I think it's good your even considering to try to fit them in...
While we can't really control others and the things they say and do, we can control our reactions and a little preparation ahead of time can help...
Real simple magazine often comes out with some really good articles on things such as etiquette and sticky situations...
I found one that may be helpful...

Be sure to click through each page..(the article is 3pages long) ...you just may find the description that fits your family members...(we can even be surprised to find that we may fit in one of those catergories)...

Basically...we can't expect everyone to be like us...diversity is what makes life interesting and if we're willing to jump into situations of discomfort to learn how to interact with other human beings, we'll be better off for even having tried...

Hope that helps...

Answer 10

Send an announcement after the fact.

No need to invite them.