How can i be more assertive?

Question

I am a very shy and my boyfriend knows that I dont speak whats on my mind because I keep to myself. When i do tell him how i feel he doesnt want to listen. How can I make him listen to me and take me more seriously . I want to show him that i can put my foot down too.

Answer 1

I am assuming that you two don't always have a two-way street when it comes to discussing what's going on in your mind(s). Maybe you have to step out of your comfort zone. I used to be really quiet too, but for me, I know that it was because I felt like I had no control over situations. I felt sometimes that my opinion doesn't matter, that I was used to my opinions not counting. You have to realize that your opinions DO matter! You have to realize that things happen because you did something (or you didn't do anything). Also, as an introvert, I know firsthand that sometimes, there is a fear of conflict or upsetting people. Sometimes, introverts want the water to stay calm, but if you want change to happen, that water is going to splash a bit (so to speak). It doesn't mean it's a bad thing. When you are upset, it doesn't mean you have to be angry. When you disagree, it doesn't have to mean you're angry. You merely would prefer something else. You opt for something else.

As for getting your boyfriend to listen, ask him to set aside a time for you two to talk about your relationship--tell him it's important. And when you talk, tell him about the principle of wanting him to hear your opinions. Realize that there's a difference between 'content' and 'principles'. Content changes from day to day. Principles of relationships are the way we deal with content as a habit. And be open and tell him how it feels when he doesn't listen. If he still refuses to listen, you may want to reconsider a future with him, especially with a guy who refuses to listen to you. I'm sure if you both find the time to talk, you can clear it up. Good luck!

Answer 2

Its not about putting your foot down, its about making sure he understands how hard it is. And it may be hard but express that! Tell him that you really need for him to listen because this is something you struggle with!

Answer 3

Start reading every self help book on gaining confidence and being a people person, and overcoming shyness, and being assertive, Good books, How to win friends and influence people, the magic of thinking big, what to say when you talk to yourself, permission too succeed. on and on... read and read practise what you learn and become a real person. I bet once you start to change in these area's you will have better everything in your life. AGAIN READ!!!!! you should be in self help sections at every bookstore and Library.

Answer 4

to start with then put your foot down, if he doesn't listen then you stop putting out, you just got a perpetual headache, this will get his attention, everytime he doesn't listen then you revert to the headache
"woman have a goldmine between there legs, you can either give this precious commodity away or wait and sell it for the highest price"
tc

Answer 5

you need to find some way, how to bring his attention to you. find some sign. for example, if you walk or ride in a car, you may stop, look at him and say "now, listen to me!". it should be something unusual and not very oftenly used. you may need to throw a glass of water into his face or start crying histerically or start yelling at him. whatever you feel comfortable with, but it should be something sharp and dramatic, so that he knows that something unusual is going on. drama is something girls usually use to bring the attention of their bfs.

Answer 6

The only way to be more assertive is to BE MORE ASSERTIVE. There is no way to advise you on how to do it because you just have to do it. Its about sticking up for your opinion, telling him to listen, and being yourself and not trying to please someone else.

Answer 7

Just do it. And if he ignores you, tell him you need to take a break for a couple of days until he will come back and act more maturely.

Answer 8

It is the same for kids; when you need them to get something done, bribe them with what they like or love the most.
Carefully use the same priciple for men and you will get them to do or accomplish anything.

Best of luck!