I dated this guy for 2 mo, 3 years ago, it ended because he was scared of how fast things were moving and how he felt emotionally, he had been married for 12 years and divorced for 2 when we meet and he also has 3 kids. In this time frame after the break-up he got engaged to a Movie Star for a short period, it did not last and then 8-9 months after the engagement ended he recontacted me and we have been seeing each other for almost 3 months now. Things are great, when we see each other, but time is a challange for him, and I dont want to ask for too much time..and occassionally I get mixed emotions, about where this is going, he is 12 yrs older, very established (I am also for my age and we are in the same field), we live in differrent states, I am thinking of mving back to where we met, 45 min from him. But, when I approached the subject of his intentions a month or so ago, he seemed offended- and said that he just wanted to take things slow, that he did not want to make a mistake.
2007-08-07 09:50:38 · 9 answers · asked by In Love?? 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Instead of asking him what he wants, maybe you should tell him how you feel and where you would like things to go. & then find out how he feels about it.
2007-08-07 09:56:08 · answer #1 · answered by Naka 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you should follow his cue and wait for him to feel more comfortable discussing where it's going. Just relax and enjoy your time together. You said the last time he got scared at how fast things were moving, so don't add to the pressure this time by pushing the subject.
However, if this doesn't work for you then just sit him down and flat out say that you'd like to know where he sees things headed. Tell him how you feel, he can't argue with you about what's important to you. You do deserve to know since you're in the relationship with him and he shouldn't be offended. It's not an unreasonable request after having an on-again/off-again relationship with someone.
2007-08-07 09:57:53 · answer #2 · answered by needstoknow 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
BS on "scaring" him. If he isn't mature enough to communicate with you in an adult fashion about your relationship without getting all ranty on you, then he isn't mature enough to be in a relationship at all. You're adults, not middle school students. After three months of renewed dating, asking him what he wants is not an unreasonable question. The thing is, you have to be mature enough to tell him what YOU want, too. So next time you bring this up, don't ask him what HIS intentions are. Instead, you have to start your talk with, "This is what I want from our relationship..." and ask whether he is willing to give that to you. His answer will determine whether or not it's a good idea for you to stay with him. His feeble "don't want to make a mistake" excuse simply doesn't hold water...NO relationship is 100% perfect all the time, and the only "magic relationship level" for commitment-phobes who they finally decide that they want in or out is when they are in REAL danger of losing it completely if they don't decide right then.
2007-08-07 09:59:35 · answer #3 · answered by Vangorn2000 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Keep the relationship long distance and keep dating other guys when appropriate. In other words, he might work out. I think questioning him about the long-term after 3 months is pushing. If you are having sex with him, stop. That might clarify things a bit. Tell him you're not trying to be mean but you don't just bang for the fun of it.
2007-08-07 09:55:21 · answer #4 · answered by Wolfithius 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
it doesnt sound like this guy likes you as much as you like him. he could just be using you after getting rejected. but really take it slow if you just started talking again its to soo to say you are going to move there cuz before you know it you will be living together. thats probably how this guys thinkin so just relax and wait for him if he likes you he will let you know when its the right time to go farther in the relationship
2007-08-07 09:55:07 · answer #5 · answered by DJIAE 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Put yourself in his place, do you think your moving to fast? You probably need something else to occupy your time like tennis or something while time eases you two along. Nobody likes a nag or someone begging. I refuse to beg. Take it nice and easy (how about dancing lessons)
2007-08-07 09:57:00 · answer #6 · answered by Conrey 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just dump the loser and find a guy with no baggage
2007-08-07 09:54:01 · answer #7 · answered by Vincent F 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be honest. Say what you are thinking, feeling, not what he wants to hear, or what you think he wants to hear.
2007-08-07 09:53:55 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
pretend u died
2007-08-07 09:54:28 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋