I have been talking to my ex boyfriend after being broken up for 5 years. He was my high school sweetheart. I loved him more than I have ever loved anyone else. I never stopping loving him or caring about him but we didn't talk at all the entire time we were broken up. We broke up because he cheated on me. He tried hard to get me back right after it happened and I really wanted to be with him but I was too hurt. He says that cheating on me and losing me was the biggest mistake of his life and that he was young and stupid. He wants me back and says he will do anything for me. I want him back too I just don't know if I can trust him. I'm afraid of getting hurt all over again. They say once a cheater, always a cheater but I'd like to think that's not true in his case. Any advice?
2007-08-07 08:09:57 · 6 answers · asked by iLoveSublime 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I usually say it's not really "cheating" if you weren't married. There's a difference between an ex-boyfriend and an ex-husband. As a boyfriend, there were no vows between you two. I know that doesn't make it hurt less since he "cheated" on you, but there's a huge difference if the cheating involved breaking vows.
And, it was 5 years ago. Perhaps he has grown since then, and learned from his mistake. You would be in a better position to know that than I would.
If you really feel that strongly about him, give it another try. But don't let yourself be too jealous or try to be controlling. Just take it nice and slow.
2007-08-07 08:18:39 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well it depends on his age. When he cheated on you was he in his teens? Guys tend to change (for the better or the worse) as they get older. Some people do cheat when they are young, and then realize the mistakes they had done, so they do not want to repeat. But if a man is in his 30's and cheating, then your theory, "once a cheater, always a cheater" applies. From your msg it sounds like you two are young and when you two were together you were very young. I believe he really likes you and wants to be with you. If he is making an effort to get you back, then that is a good sign.. If you love him then you should trust him and make things work. good luck!
2007-08-07 15:26:56 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is where your judgment of how much you love him kicks in. But you have to consider the fact that he has cheated on you, and he caused you a lot of pain. If you love and trust him, to the extent that you believe that, he has a chance to redeem himself then you should give him a chance. But if you are in constant doubt that he might cheat on you again, then going back to him, will end up bad. You cannot have a relationships built up of constant doubts and a rackety bridge of trust. You will end up getting hurt again. I know the advice follow your heart seems played out but, in this case, following your heart is the way to go. After all i do not know the reasons why you love him, for it to be called love, it has to be indescribable. Good luck.
2007-08-07 15:24:31 · answer #3 · answered by J3T 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i hate that line once a cheater ect ect, thats like saying once an alcholholic always an alcholholic even if they been clean and sober now for 25 yrs, thats not fair to say, but anyway, i belive him he sounds very raw about you, you should give him a chance , becuz if you dont you will always wonder what if? and my advise is to take it very slow, see what happens. . . . he is your first love , doesnt that deserve another chance,? take it from me" if it goes well " then never bring up the past or hes cheating if you get in an argument, it will def kill the relationship.... trust me i know, i wish i had the second chance, good luck to you both, and my you fall in luv all over again, , , , , ,
2007-08-07 15:21:02 · answer #4 · answered by music4life 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Been there, done that. Dated him for another six years. Total friggin' disaster. Loved him with all I could. Same *** hat he always was. I just got more and more hurt and forgave and forgave until I finally saw the light. Walk away now while you already have a break. Don't stir it up again, you'll only regret it even more later. I know it's difficult, but it really is for the best.
If he really was 'THE ONE' you would already know and wouldn't have any doubts at all and would already be there. Save yourself the heart ache. Run far far away from this one.
2007-08-07 15:18:38 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont go back he might be a player
2007-08-07 15:13:49 · answer #6 · answered by trini4life 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋