Does "Spanking" or "Whipping" your child help?

Question

Okay this is for everyone with Children. Please answer each question.

1. Do you spank or whip your child?
2. How old is your child?
3. Do you consider your child to be well-behaved?

Please be honest with each question. I really would like to know the views on the matter. Any other details are welcome.

Personally i was "whipped" as a child, i do believe that my mom was alittle extreme when it came to discipline, but i know for a fact that she got that way because of her parents, my uncles are the same way.

Although I turned out okay some of my siblings carried that same "violent" behavior into their lives and now the ones in my family that have children are, in my opionion, extreme in their discipline as well, even though we all hated the way we were treated.

I do not believe in "whipping" a child, but i do think "spanking" is okay. I believe there is a difference between the two.

I believe that spanking is a mild form of physical discipline using the hand or something of that nature.

"whipping" is what i consider using objects like wood paddles, extension cords, belts, and fist, other things that leave bruises, and yes there are people who do this. As i said i was whipped and my sister and brother and uncles whip there children.

Answer 1

My kids are too old to spank (12 and 18), but I have spanked them both maybe only 2-3 times each. That's all they needed - so I consider it to have been effective for my family. They are both well-behaved and always have been. I believe that there is a right and wrong way to carry out this form of punishment, however. Done the wrong way, it can do much more damage than good. Here are the general guidelines I used not in any particular order:

1) Try to always match the punishment with the crime. Reserve spanking only for the worst offenses - like blatant disrespect or disobedience that you have no question about. Never punish a child for something that was an accident.

2) Don't use your hand. The hand is meant to be a loving instrument. Use a wide flat surface (like a paddle). You only spank to get their attention, not to hurt them. You should NEVER leave a mark. It should sting, but not for long.

3) NEVER spank your kids when you are angry. You can tell them they are going to get a spanking, but wait until you calm down before you actually do it.

4) Talk with your child before you spank them and tell them exactly why you are doing it. Make sure they understand and give them time to ask questions. This is not a negotiation, just their time to make sure they understand why you decided to spank them.

5) Always punish in private and praise in public. It's very important that you allow the child to maintain as much dignity as possible throughout the ordeal.

6) Talk to your child after you are done. Make sure you tell them that you love them and that it's your job to teach them right from wrong even though sometimes it hurts you to do it.

7) Hug them and send them on their way to recover in private - give them some space.

8) Move on like nothing ever happened - don't hold a grudge, don't be moody, and never talk about it again unless they bring it up. Make sure your next interaction with them is a positive one if possible.

If done using the above guidelines, the spanking does not become associated with violence, but rather a duty that the parent carries out because of his/her deep and abiding love for the child.

Answer 2

1- Spanking is done for serious things here. my husband spanks the older 3 if necessary.
Using anything other than a open hand on the bottom is against the law in Canada and it must be reasonable ( look up Canadian Criminal law section 43 on the Internet ). This can be dicey depending on what a judges opinion is on the subject. You can only spank here from the age of 2 to age 12.
There are far better methods of punishment for children over the age of 6 years.

4- Boys are 5, 8 10 and 12

I consider them very well behaved and have had lots of nice comments regarding that.
My boys have always had a warm loving home, good communication with us as parents and stable home life.

( Connie Mom of 4 Boys )

Answer 3

I have five children ranging from ages 27 to 4 years old and I will not lie I have spanked (like lay on the bed on stomach and I spank their behinds) and so far I have had four incidents with my older boys (27 & 21) my younger ones know I am a talker so they test my patience my eight (8) year old boasts "My mama has never spanked me". I feel this is a problem simply because in the bible I remember it states "Spare the rod and spoil the child" located in Proverbs 13:24 which in my opinion means that children will only flourish if punished, physically or otherwise, for any wrongdoing. If you want to know if this statement is true simply look at the news and what horrible acts children are committing. So in my opinion I believe children need spankings and they do things to make you spank them so they can know you love them, as absurd as it sounds. To end my statement I agree with the spanking (on behind with a belt) but not with the "Whipping (flexible switches dipped in water) theory and yes there is a distinct difference between the two one is abuse the other is loving guidance.

Answer 4

1) I did before (spank) now firm discipline talk, talk, talk. Also go take that stool and sit there (wherever I tell her to sit) and really think about why mommy disapproves of that behaviour or speech.
2) 9 years old (girl) ( I am blessed with few more years before teen age).
3) Good at times and bad at others. Growing pains.

I also bought a book of Virtues for Children. That is a excellent book.

Edit: The reason I stopped spanking my child is because it doesn't do any good. It just causes grief and I feel its degradable, especially if done in public. Proper firm punishment will do, but you have to be consistent and no if or buts. But always put love in it all and not just those sudden burst of anger which our actions and words at that time cannot be taken back. You know what I mean?

Answer 5

Often the terms 'spanking' and a "whippin'" are used to mean the same thing. They were when I was growing up, early 50's. I don't recall seeing ANY parent with either a cat-of-9-tails or a Bull-whip anywhere in the neighborhood.

My brother and I were spanked. I didn't hurt any more than feelings actually. Usually my dad just had to look at me funny and I'd be able to muster some tears. The yardstick was always favored.

I don't see the harm in corporal punishment by parents. I see the harm in NO discipline running through the stores day in and day out. I see mothers threatening their children with a 'time out' and the child could care less. I see the counting: One Two....pfft. They don't carry through. Pretty soon the kids know Mom or Dad don't mean what they say. Then the kids begin to rule the roost.

Then you have the States sticking their noses in the family. Granted there are cases where it's warranted, but mostly it's NOT. When a kid can threaten his parents with calling Child Protective Services as a way out of punishment, we have a real problem in society.

My children are 30 and 25. Both are educated, productive members of society. I never had trouble with either of them. They are thoughtfull adults and I couldn't ask for more. I didn't have to spank much, but I didn't hold back either.

Answer 6

I have three children, 2 daughters (Ages 11 and 8) and a son (age 4).

Yes, I do spank all three of them if I feel they deserve it. For the 11yo that's not very often, she is pretty well behaved. The 8yo seems to average 2-3 spankings a month. Our son is definitely the family champion, he gets at least 2 spankings a week, sometimes more. I spank all three of them with my hand. I was whipped with a leather belt and I will never use anything like that on my children. I feel it is to severe.

Answer 7

1. I did as a last resort when they were younger (under the age of reasoning with them) For 3 of my kids that was around 4....for one ( who has other issues) That was about 9.... Admn the spankings were more likeswats to the behind (mostly with diapers on ) :) to get their attention, if nothing else worked, or to drive home a point of danger.....

2. now? 19, 15, 10 and 9.

3. A -lot- of people consider my children well behaved. When I can take my boys out in public ( my 15yo is a high functioning autistic) and nobody sees the 'typical' acting out behavior expected from boys, much less children these days, I did somethign right! LOL

Answer 8

1. I spank if it is called for (not very often)
2. He is 4
3. He is very well behaved.

I do not use spanking as my first choice for discipline, i try reasoning with him, and giving him warnings first, but he knows im not afraid to give him a good thump on the butt, no matter where we are, or who is around. He respects my authority much more than both extremes i think. Children who are spanked as the primary form of discipline tend to listen to their parent out of fear, not respect. Children raised with no spanking are generally just not as well behaved, because there isnt that respect instilled in them. I think a good combination is best.

Answer 9

1. No
2. 6 mo (lol)
3. LOL yes
I don't think spanking is the answer although sometimes it is ok if done lightly, like if the child is running for the road and there is a car or truck coming well i would probably spank them to tell them no.. but spanking supposidly promotes hitting later on. i do NOT believe in whipping AT ALL and i believe that is definetly abuse!!!
i agree there is a difference however either done in anger is bad

Answer 10

POLL: 1. Child 2. Animal 3. Elderly 4. Spousal 5. Mental 6. Physical :-)